I've left my wife needing to call off work the next day more than a few times. So, a deal then: one rough one for each sandwich you eat?

Carefully.

Because you aren't supposed to want that, but your brain works properly. Dark and taboo is fun.

"Uncle will you take us to God's blind spot?"

GG, you win.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAryFIuRxmQ

I will grant that it does make you seem shallow - clearly not, given your particular fetish (ah, internet, you allow me bad puns without audible groans). There is a certain size above which size seems to stop mattering as much as how we use it. All that being said, I won't hold it against you. Everybody has a fetish. Well, nearly everybody. I don't trust a person who doesn't. How do you exploit and manipulate bland people? So go chase your white whale, but when you find it... please do refrain from being dragged down into the deep.

Given the lack of image I gotta reply to what I see on the screen: your message.

I freak out a little about somehow being back in my living room on my laptop. I hope this isn't a red pill/blue pill situation. I, once again, leave the house on my quest to arrive at the appropriate room, at the appropriate hotel. When I open the door and walk through again I find myself back in my living room. What fresh hell is this?! A none-too-fresh one. I think, after the third round of this Twilight Zone shit, I just resign myself to watching Gundam Wing, or beating it, or watching Gundam Wing while beating it. Challenge accepted!

Since it seems that the people on here have a limited imagination, I guess I will chime in. Seriously, what is with all the "fuck another dude in front of him! and "have another dude fuck him!" If you were to go that route, it would only be if you'd discussed such in advance. Even then, you'd start simple and slow by bringing it up while the boyfriend is tied up. If he reacts poorly you have the chap you had waiting in the living room leave. If the other guy you had on standby gets pissed he was not good for the situation anyway. Probably had all of his thoughts on his own dick, rather than being a good tag partner/toy for you and your boyfriend to mutually enjoy.

More likely to end favorably, and again only if you are both in to it, bring another woman into the room once he is tied, introduce her, and tell him that the two of you would like to put on a little show. Make it interactive. Keep checking in with him. Tell him to chime in with input, direct the action. To build frustration - and anticipation - for the moment when you cut the ropes (it is rather important they be cut for both symbolic and haste purposes) you should make a great show of licking/fingering/fucking her (assuming, again, this is something you possess, IE a strap-on). Again, keep it interactive and fun. Start with kissing. Never, EVER, dive in to the deep end with ANYTHING sexual. Keep asking him if he wants a taste. Keep making statements like "I bet you wanna lick her twat" or "how would you like this to be your [finger/cock]?" Right before cutting the ropes you need to do your very best to fit as many fingers/as much of your first as you can in her, then insert only as much as you could fit in her, into his mouth. Removing your fingers one. At. A. Time. When you grab the knife, use the hand you had inside her (wiped off to avoid slipperiness). As much as a I worship pussy, I don't want to be covered in it.

Speaking of that knife... maybe he should be fully clothed in something he does not care about under that blanket. Maybe, once you've gotten his consent (or not, at which point you politely ask this other woman to leave, informing her that you'll try again some other time) and removed the blanket, you and your lady friend should take occasional breaks from the action to take the knife and cut away layers of his clothing. For the love of God, don't use a kitchen knife. I assume those are not the only knives you own? Perhaps scissors, since this is your first time...

But, failing the involvement of another person - or... something else ;) - you are about to have man consensually bound. Please be half the Slytherin you proclaim yourself to be and get kinky with it. Perhaps, if you have the time, read The Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind. Pay special attention to anything involving the Mord Sith in the People's Palace. Note with great sadness that you do not possess an agiel, but other options exist.

Now on to what you can do, without involving other people or whatever else has crossed your mind during this over-long response! Assuming you've tied your knots properly to not only keep his arms and legs in place, but immobilized, because I find the best part of the kink is when you cannot move at all. The only thing you have control over is your mouth. Don't ballgag or otherwise gag him, you need to give your "victims" at least one thing. If you don't, fun can turn to panic after one unexpected thing - and given the blindfolded nature of your version of all of this... unexpected things will be everywhere.

You need a feather, a canvas belt, a leather belt, some silk (or other light/smooth fabric). A paddle of some sort, I like to use a variety of those adorable little rubber scrapers shaped like animals, and tell my wife that it is my intent to open a zoo on her body. The candle is good, but don't use it on any part of his body with hair. Perhaps before tying him up you could discuss the idea of shaving any/all parts of his body that will be covered when he is wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I prefer to be smooth any place not visible to the general public. It feels amazing and sexy as hell. But I digress! You might like some grape seed oil (2.78 for 15 oz at Walmart, if I recall correctly). This oil works well on the body (and is good for the skin) and is safe to use as lube. Basically what I am getting at, where toys are concerned, is that you need a variety of textures. Smooth things, rough things, etc... if you are having trouble deciding on using that pine cone (example) or not, imagine yourself using it on someone. Could you make it sexy? Imagine someone else using it on you. Run it over your skin while thinking about it's possible bedroom applications. Does it feel good? Great, place it in the box of things you might spread out on the table that he is tied to (but not on, so as to avoid early contact with any item). Does it feel bad, but not bad enough to where you can still think sexy thoughts? It goes in the good box. Does it interrupt your thoughts and make it impossible to think sexy thoughts? Throw it in the bad box, or better yet... throw it away. If it feels that bad you don't need it in your home unless it is generally used without physical contact, or used in the kitchen.

Mix up the items you use, never stay with something so long it gets boring. Watch his face. Allow him time to decide if something feels good, or not. Try to remain as silent as possible. Don't ask for input, he should provide that of his own accord. If he does not, perhaps this is not his kink. It should be all about input and communication. Digress. As you run through items, lay the ones he likes back on the table. Place the others in an out-of-reach pile.

Experiment with temperature. Use smooth stone or glass. Butt plugs work well for this, even if you aren't inserting them. The shape of some of them makes them good massage aides. Apply the cold and hot things (this is where your candle wax comes in to play) to his erogenous zones (use Google, it's 4:30 AM ain't nobody got time to teach a second thing that could be a lesson unto itself). Don't put the wax on the cock, balls, or asshole. Trust me. Pro tip: why fuck around with a candle, when you can buy a Dr Scholl's wax bath for under $50 and have a large source of ready-to-use wax of a variety that is INTENDED for application to the skin (IE no unnecessary additives such as chemicals for scent).

But feel free to use scented candles to set the mood. I tend to like a spiced pear. Again, while sniffing it in the store try thinking sexy thoughts. The candle should have an erotic smell on it's own, or at least be something that lends energy to the experience. I guess what I am saying is that you should avoid the candle equivalent of Sleepy Time Vanilla. Don't mix smells. Do acquire and smell the grape seed oil. Memorize the smell and bear it in mind while selecting candles. If that oil is going to be everywhere (and if it is, use a blanket you don't care much about as a drop cloth) it's smell will be, too.

Ummmm... yeah... that is all I can think of off the top of my head other than to say:

1) The goal of torture and the goal of bondage are similar: keep them on their toes. You are even using pain (though the degree differs between the two subjects) to extract information. The difference is... well, that is another conversation altogether.

2) PM me if you want clarification, expansion, or have specific questions (note how I did not phrase that such that the OP is singled out for further assistance).

3) The body should be a religion. How much time do you spend in church? I used to be a priest, and that religion ate upwards of 40 hours of my week if I was doing it right. Fortunately this religion is more lax, but it does demand an hour in the gym per day, six days a week, focusing on different muscle groups and cardio. Gotta keep that endurance up, and the muscular control game must be on point. Also note: most religions ask for 10% of your income as a tithe. This one is no different. But unlike other religions, what you give up in money for product, you get back in good times and fond memories. Also note: God (who DOES exist) really does not care what you do in the privacy of your own home, so long as you are a good person.

4) Read about your anatomy. His anatomy. Memorize it. Explore yourself. Explore him. Note what works and what does not. Knowing you, knowing him, will make it so much better. Remember, it is said that the best orgasms are born of familiarity. A fling with a stranger might be hot, but the stranger in the room is only a means to an end. When you care for someone you want to do things that further the bond, and leave a lasting impression.

5) Make Salazar Slitherin proud, girl!

Not if this is the first time this has happened. She needs to first ease in to it. Maybe discuss fantasies about other men. Build up to it. Then one day - when she has him tied up - bring it up. If he reacts poorly she excuses herself to get something - what I am not sure, because it is only an excuse to step out of the room. While out of the room she tells the other dude that it is off because the boyfriend does not seem in to it. Doesn't exactly fit the classic dark fantasy nature of what you're driving at, but... there is a right way to do things and a wrong way. The right way will end in expanded minds. The wrong way will end in a terminated relationship. "Rant" over.

Sorry, TL;DR: Don't dive in to the deep end with anything you haven't discussed.

What a lovely pussy...

LOLOLOLOLOL

Wow, that was almost a sentence. Can we all just stop and appreciate how a coward hiding behind the shield of anonymity almost used proper grammar. I think this calls for a celebration, break out the champagne! Also, it is sex toy closet, not just dildos you under-educated, inbred, sister-plowing hick.

I love my wildly inappropriate mother-in-law. One moment we're talking about how the things my wife wants in her new computer renders it a unicorn hunt, next thing you know we're talking about unicorn horn dildos. And now I wonder, but am feeling rather indolent, does such a thing exist? Obviously not actual unicorn, unless there's something I should know...

This guy.

We all have occasion to do it, thus the correction sans-insult. The further out of grammar school we get, the less we care about the basics unless we make an effort of it.

Came here for unicorn picture. Was highly disappointed...

*affects

Excellent, all accord to The Plan. Just never post anonymous! If you are too ashamed of something to associate your name with it - even just your handle - then there is probably a reason.