Only ever popped off premature once. Never had a wet dream, which I kinda regret. Never came in my pants.

I had a friend who did though, while we were watching an old Swedish Erotica clip at a bachelor party back in the day. Back then you still needed a screen and a projector. Pat had never had a real girlfriend, had never gotten a handful, not sure he’d even kissed a girl. The movie was on and we were all shouting at it like we knew what we were talking about. Sticks in my mind that it was an old Seka loop (this was the early 80s) and she was about to get it in the ass. Just as the heavily-mustachioed ‘hero’, parted the posterior of his equally hairy companion, you heard Pat say, “Oh no. Oh no. Oh no! Fuck!” and off he rushed. We teased him unmercifully, although we were no doubt hard as stone as well.

It started out as an easy day. Kansas in the summer. Hot in the morning. Hottest in the afternoon. Hot all night. I finished mowing the lawn and was walking down the to gas station for a ‘pop’. There were girls and young women laying out on a couple of lawns taking advantage of the morning sun. To a youngster like me, it was like viewing heaven and I was hard all the way to the pop machine and back. But you’d better believe I took the same route home.

The swimming pool opened at 1 and I spent the day at the pool. More swimsuits and sun-tanned flesh. Bikinis. One pieces. Lifeguards. Our regular lifeguard was a beauty named Julie and she had this light pink bikini that I could describe to you still. It was almost transparent enough for you to believe that it was. To this day though, I’m sure I could describe her patch to you, so maybe it was more transparent than I remember. Fuck. Hard off and on all afternoon and all the way home on my bicycle.

Home in time for dinner. No time to jerk off. Talk about a build-up. Looking back at it now, if I knew then what I know now, I would have assumed that if I came at that moment, I’d be completely dehydrated.

That evening I had to work at the concession stand at the local ball diamond. Softball double-header. There were usually of couple younger people, like me, and a couple of older people. That evening one of the teachers from the local elementary school was on. Mrs. Barker. We used to sit up in my buddy’s old treehouse and watch her sunbathe on her deck, which she thought was invisible to the rest of the world, so she sunbathed naked. She didn’t know about the treehouse. Man. Every time I brushed against her that evening, and it wasn’t always an accident, I was hard. Being as old as I am now, I wish it was still that easy.

I was so amped-up and so miserably horny that I rushed out before we were done cleaning up. Fumbled some excuse about not feeling well and bolted.

There was this little bathhouse just past the outfield, but the man was locking it up so I ran over the bridge over the creek and started through the trees to head up the hill to this little shelter, an old, stone, WPA-built picnic shelter thats table was long since gone. I knew that all it would take was a few strokes and I’d be fine.

My cock was banging up against my belly and I could feel each step in my balls as I ran. I was picturing Julie without her bikini and Mrs. Barker without her shorts and t-shirt. I was picturing those young women on the lawn asking me to join them. I was picturing all kinds of things as I rounded the corner into that picnic shelter and dropped my shorts.

And there, like a live-action porno movie, three feet from me, was a guy I knew from the local mechanic shop where my folks had always taken their car to be serviced.

I can still picture it. Like me, his shorts were down. Kneeling in front of him was Tina, someone I knew a little but we didn’t run with the same crowd so I didn’t know her well. She was a mousey, quiet type, lean and angular, with a bookworm’s reputation and who had never gone to school dances when we were in the same school.

She was wearing cut off denim shorts, flip flops, and a softball jersey. The jersey was unbuttoned and pulled back and I could see the curve of her breasts. I could also see Junior’s calloused, mechanic’s fingers were tangled in her hair and it was obvious that his cock was in her mouth to the root. Her hands were wrapped around his waist and were clutching at his ass.

He looked up and grunted, “What the fuck? Hey! Val! Hey!”

The one of her eyes that I could see met mine and she went down a little further on what must have been a very hard cock. I didn’t actually see her grin but I’ve always felt like she did.

And then, like my friend Pat, I stuttered, “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!”

I can’t begin to tell you how much I came. I didn’t touch myself and no one touched me. But I came all the same. Long, ropey streams of which I can still picture. I hit her softball jersey, her hair, his hand, her face, his leg, and the tops of her thighs.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

Bobbing down quick, I grabbed the waistbands of my shorts and underpants and yanking them up over my still dripping, still hard cock, I muttered, “Oh hey! Hey, Junior. Tina. Sorry!” And I ran.

That night at home, in bed, with the lights out, I came again. And again the next day. That night I made a call.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Is Tina there?”

“Yeah, Tiiiiiiiiina! Get your ass over here! Phone’s for you!”

“Hello?”

“Hey, Tina, it’s Val, I was wondering . . . “

“No. I’m not busy tonight. Whatcha got in mind?”

“Ummmmm, maybe we could . . . “

“Sure. Pick me up at 8?”

“I . . . “

She’d already hung up.

I rolled my old Ford up to her house a few minutes early and she was already on the porch. Dressed exactly the same as last night. Might even have been the same softball jersey.

“Hey, Val!”

“Hey.

“Junior’s pretty pissed at you. You know why, right?”

“Because I came on his hand?”

“Because you came on his hand. And his shorts. And his leg. And then you ran off.”

“What were you doing with Junior, anyway?”

“He has a nice dick.”

“He’s twice your age.”

“He has a nice dick.”

“I didn’t know you were into that.”

“Into what? Sex? Older guys? Dick? I like dick and it likes me.”

“I guess I just didn’t know.”

“I keep my head down and my mouth shut. That’s how bad reputations get started.”

I laughed. “You do NOT keep your mouth shut!”

“And you’ll know exactly how much I don’t, as long as you keep yours shut. Deal?”

“Deal.”