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Anonymous
@confessions
08 Jul 2010 6:03PM
• 845 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 8 replies ]

Police up in the cold wet north east of England have received greetings from Raoul Moat, holidaying in a far away sub-tropical sunspot. Raoul's card read simply "Wishing you were here".

"Looks like he's gone away for a while", said DCI Bob Ainsworth. "Lucky bastard. It's alright though isn't it. Here am I, law abiding, wife and two kids, mortgage, three dogs - the furthest we ever get on holiday is Morecambe Bay. Whoever said crime doesn't pay".

"It's a disgrace, that's what it is", declared 76 year old pensioner Alice Nuttall. "This man has broken the law. He should be brought before magistrates and told to sweep the streets. I blame the government. They're too soft".

"He's taking the piss", said trainee mechanic Alex Hodge. Bet he gets off with a slap on the wrists. I suppose this is all courtesy of the money he got from the chip shop".

"The public must remain calm and stick together", announced Commissioner Vernon Appleyard from Central Control Northumberland Division.

"Everything's under control", declared Appleyard. "No need for panic. Just go about your lives as if nothing's happened. Take a holiday if you like. Head south. Sunderland's glorious at this time of year".

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