Election time in two months. The worst candidates since Ford/Carter.
Clinton is an egotistical bitch that lies and who can think of nothing but herself.
Trump is a bloviating buffoon who's best job would be a standup comedian.
If I can, I will write in Bernie Sanders.
If not, I will vote Libertarian.
My confession is I just got blown by a stripper 30 minutes ago, completely unexpected but umm ok, guess I'll get tested tomorrow.
Short version is that a close friend is here from out of state visiting. He's on vacation, but when a friend called offering a gig (he's a professional standup comic) he figured it would pay some of the vacation off. He invites me an my wife and we're thinking cool date night. I drop by the address on my lunch break and realize it's a strip club. Not wanting to waste gas I ask what time he'll be on and score free tickets before calling my wife about it. She's pissed, but didn't back down saying she wanted the date night.
We go, even show up early, wife laying the ground rules before even getting out of the car. To fuck with her I go down on her in the back of the car. I tease as much as possible, making sure she has a hard time getting out of the car and walking to the club. I'm sure the doorman knew what was up but I didn't care. The club setup was weird. They had the comics go up and do their thing, after each set a girl would go up and do her dance. Then they made an announcement about comedy night specials, 2 for 1 lap dances. A hot stripper comes up asking if we want a couples dance (since she was all up on my wife I'm thinking lesbo). I'm guessing the wife is still smiling from earlier because shockingly she said yes and we're off to a private booth. I was thinking 2 (because of the special) she orders 8. The stripper asks who it's for and I point to my wife. It's a room with a booth and a chair in the middle so she tells my wife to sit in the chair.
Watching another chick straddle and basically fuck my wife was awesome. I thought there was a "no touch" rule but I guess she made an exception for my wife. Soft moaning, decent music, tits in the wife's face and wife fingering the stripper. I'm just sitting back in the corner of the booth enjoying the view when the stripper motions for me to come over. I'm standing there obviously hard as fuck, wife's smiling, stripper is moaning softly straddling her. Over the music I hear the stripper ask my wife if she can jerk me. I didn't hear the response, I simply felt my pants being unzipped and my boxers unbuttoned. My crotch was head level to my wife, and so she turns and kisses my cock as this stripper strokes.
That's hot, but somehow the stripper gets my wife to stroke me as she starts kissing the tip. Pretty soon my wife is fingering the stripper while feeding her my cock. They take turns until I can't hold back. I unload to a stripper kissing my wife, splashing both faces. Best $100 I've ever spent... just hoping the STD test comes back negative.
Anyhow comedy was funny, told the friend he did a great job up there, drove home and since I know there are sick bastards on here that would love to hear it I posted it.
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