I've had years humiliating sexual experiences with women regarding my unimpressive size, performance, and bank account. Because of this I've fallen down the black hole that is internet porn. It started of with vanilla and lesbian porn. It progressed to group scenes and anal. Then inter-racial, femdom, and cuckold porn. I've now realized that I can't compete with a real man in any way. Since I have nothing to offer woman other than friendship, I've decided to lock up my little cock and train my body to accept penetration and eventually get pleasure from it. I'm still painfully attracted to women and find men disgusting outside of internet porn. I'm hoping long term chastity and dildo training will help me learn to crave cock and get over my revoltion to men in real life. I would be eternally grateful to any dominant female who's interested in this sort of thing and would help me realize my goal. Or maybe you have your own ideas for my reprogramming?
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I confess, everybody where I live is a robot, & I waste magical resources by accident and that people are reprogrammable.
Sometimes people have liked me, for no reason, then they've hated me, for no reason. Because they're all reprogrammed. Don't ask how it's done, it's irrelevant.
People have chased me to attack me professing I'm a deviant. Attacked for thiniking good thoughts, attacked for thinking bad thoughts, told my role in life by one sect, told my role in life by another, strange childish minded all powerful people who believe life is a role playing game. The next day they have no recollection and behave logically again. Reprogrammed.
The impression I give to others varies. Sometimes people see something about me that identifies me to them as a deviant and offer me deviant services. And I get health benefits and protection from deviant services and allies. Not by choice, but because they mis-recognise something about my appearance, through their "robot-eyes".
It's depressed me a bit. All I've ever wanted is a career and family. But something perverts the natural course of my life. Something powerful, this thing that tries to manipulate the natural order of things. I find never thinking a safe way to maintain some sanity. And denial of most things. I have come to understand with logical evidence, that there is no such concept as time money or power, that letting these childish ideas in your head are part of a manipulation strategy, best ignored as childish.
Each to their own reality.
Yours could be different.
Good luck with yours.
I want what I want. I wouldn't be I if I wanted something else would I. I'd be you if I wanted what you want. Doh.
I realize I am not 100% gay. I am bi. I am not 100% straight. I get turned on by intimacy not a naked body. I cant figure out how to reprogram my mind from being turned on by thoughts of incest. I am not interested in doing anything illegal. any suggestions? also where does one find women that are into bi guys? in LA
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