my new favorite joke
A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He sits down at the bar to have a drink when the bartender screams,
"Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"No, what?" asks the man
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...WHOLE!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"He eats everything in sight, I'm sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again and has his Monkey with
him. He orders a drink and the Monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the Monkey finds a bowl of
Maraschino Cherries on the bar.
He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. Then
the Monkey finds a peanut, again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted,
"Did you see what your Monkey did now?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his arse, pulled them out
and ate them!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," the guy replied,
"He still eats everything in sight but ever since he had to shit
that cue ball, he measures everything first."
