Does anyone have any good beastaility videos with monkeys in them? if so post plz

When the Porch monkeys wear their pants below their butts with their dirty boxers hanging out, thats called SAGGIN.

Here is a little food for thought. What do you get when you spell SAGGIN backwards??
Now lift up your pants you lazy ass free loaders.

Puddles The Magic Monkey

I guess the TLDR of this is, I fucked a young fatty.

I'm 28, engaged to be married and working as an general IT monkey for a small firm. We have a trial contract for a call centre, and I got talking to the manager, who offered me extra cash to come out and sort his router out and build a pc from parts he bought but pussied out from putting together.

I got there on the weekend, and get to putting the PC together, largely being left to it, before sorting out the networking issues, he was paranoid about wireless signals so it was all LAN only, and I needed to fuck around with every PC connected, I do so on each machine in turn before there is one upstairs. I ask the guy, and he says it's his daughters room, that she is out but to ignore the mess and sort the issue out otherwise he would never hear the end of it.

I venture in, and its a fucking mess. I clear enough room to work, and fix the problem quick. My mind starts wondering what the daughter is like, and I start getting half a mind to do something like investigate her laundry for some nice knickers to steal before the paranoia seeps in that that getting busted could really fuck up my job. I settle for attempting to find shit on her computer (no luck, pretty much a fresh install) and poking around her room in the few minutes I figured I had. Opened the top bedside drawer and among the normal junk staring me in the face is a cheap gold vibrator. I look over my shoulder at a closed door before picking it up. I can smell that it doesn't get cleaned much, and my cock is suddenly raging. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, so I replace it and bail out of the room, to run into the guy, who is happy I did such a quick job.

Muslims - I say toast them all before the toast us. Turn the sand monkeys back to sand!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Please tell me youre a regular person.

Stranger: ASL?

You: Stop typing like a fucking monkey

Stranger: GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTT. Hoe.

You: Still typing like a fucking monkey

Stranger: HOW?!

You: I hate you dude

Stranger: I hate your MOM!

You: That's cool

Stranger: I know.

Stranger: I know.

You: Congrats you're not typing like a monkey, we can have a conversation about how your mom should've swallowed

Stranger: And your mom shouldve spit?

Stranger: I think so.

You: And you just took what I said and tweaked it

You: Congratulations

You: \(._.)

Stranger: Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Stranger: GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

i like monkeys.

I like to fuck with people, like I did today.

I was in a doctors waiting room and there was this Arabic guy sitting next to me who had arms as hairy as a monkey but was bald on top of his head. I kind of stared at him and when he looked over I told him, "It's a shame doctors can't find a way to get your arm hair and put it on your head". I could see the pissed look on his face. Just when I think he was going to say something back the nurse opened the door and called his name. I bet you he is still pissed.

Posing a question to my friends and subscribers and really motherless as a whole. 

As many of you know my owner likes to keep my orgasms under control...

My owner has been considering trying out the motherless poll system to give all of YOU a vote on if I am allowed to cum. The votes would probably be once a month if we put them up here.

Please keep in mind no matter which way this poll goes my owner has final say, this is just to gauge people's interest

So consider this a test run to see if anyone here is interested in controlling my greedy monkey squirts!

To make it a bit more interesting please feel free to leave a comment on if you will vote yes or no if you could. :)

Monkey fucking