II confess i read my moms journal when i shouldnt of. ill tell you about it now

am looking for some advice from a bunch of random people as i feel you might be more honest.
Im 28, i barely get by in life and live on my own. I see my mother all the time, but she is real real poor.
shes incapable of working a job and heavily in debt. She lost her husband and he left us with all these bills.
My mom has been depressed for awhile and hasnt eaten out or gone out in awhile. I have tried helping but theres just no way i can make her happy.

A few months ago, my mom met this guy she was seeing and she told me how excited she was to see him. She was truly in love and was so happy and i liked seeing her like that. i met the guy and was happy when i noticed how sucessful the guy is. He is super rich, clean etc, and i was proud of my mother for meeting a man who seemed nice and was taking care of her. My mom was happier, was dressing super nice, had bought a new laptob etc, gone out to nice dinners and everything was ok.... but in the back of my mind i was really wondering "why is this guy being so nice to my mom,hes younger and can clearly spoil any model and get interest" I dont mean to sound rude toward my mom she looks fine i guess but he can do better, but thats not what this isabout, its just gone past my mind thinking what he sees in her. MY suspicions were correct finally when i came across my moms journal.

I shouldnt of read it, but my moms always been a writer. She always expresses her feelings and writes her thoughts down. Very outsoken. So i read the 1st page where she started talking about her new boyfriend, basically it started out with her saying she thought she found the right guy etc and loves him, he treats her so good blabla.... and at the end of it she said something about withholding sex to find out if shes feeling it a few dates later after finding out what kinda guy he is. I read by a few pages and she confesses that she is heads over heals for him and decided to just give him "oral sex" she claims that he said it was the best he ever had and everythign was ok.. I kept reading and one of the latest pages expained what i thought all along and it makes me sad, and i dont know what to do.

The page stated with"i feel like a sexslave" it starts where she talked about"i just wanted to make him happy" to "he wants it all the time". My mother wrote about how the guy will just sit and watch a football game, or stay on the computer for 2-3 hours and call her over to suck his cock. He never wants sex, he just works online alot and watches movies, and tv and sports and just wants to sit back and get his dick sucked. My mother wrote that she blew him for 3 hours before, then ate dinner and blew him another few hours. She said she feels worthless. She said she tried telling him that she wanted to tone it down but the guy said"you are my toy you do what i say" and told her if she stops then hes leaving . My mother wrote, besides the blowjob thing, when we're out and stuff everything is fine its just his constant need for wanting her to blow him is way too much and he doesnt care she doesnt want to. Sheclaims she wants to stop but doesnt want to lose the godo moneyfree life.

i dont know what to do? the guy is a blowjob maniac i guess but hes not abusive or anything physically. he/along with myself enjoy a good cockworshipper but shes just not into it so often.

I can confess that I am a professional serial panty thief. I started as a 14 year old a few of years ago. My collection got so huge that I had to move out of my home.

In the beginning, I'd steal one or two of my sisters panties from her drawers. Then her my moms. Eventually, during hot summers days I'd put on a balaclava and sprint around my neighbourhood, steal as many panties I could from washing lines and putting them in my bag. If I get caught doing it the rush is amazing. I have been banned from over 10 laundromats in my city after being caught on CCTV completely empty washing machines and taking all the panties.
My small apartment, is full of panties. The kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, hallway, storage cupboard... What started as a few panties hidden under my bedsheets has now turned into an entire apartment with panties up to shin.

My family has disowned me and i've been put on he sex offenders register. I have been charged several times with theft and public indecency but have escaped a prison sentence so far.

Before I was caught, I was featured in a local newspaper on the front page. Someone had taken a picture of me while I was running from my latest theft. The headline read "Underwear thief strikes again"

I love it and will continue to do it until there are enough panties in my apartment that in can swim in them.

Nothing in life is Sacred

I have got to confess, because I have been dying to tell somebody and I can’t. In fact I have to be vague here as well but at least I can tell the story. I have been fat, overweight, chubby etc, etc, etc all my life. Not too bad but more so than women would except. I have actually been in better shape than most of the thin people I have known in my life. But you can’t see health, you see shape. Anyhow after turning 48 I thought about how much I have been working physical jobs that people can’t handle for very long, and I have been working them for 30 years. Yet they have been rewarded with drop dead gorgeous women when they had nothing to offer them. I didn’t feel like I had my share of women period, and none of them were the drop dead gorgeous ones. Also there wasn’t a lot of fun. They always wanted to get married, or at least be settled but I never experienced what I wanted from these women, nor have I experienced the woman I wanted.

After spending a year and a half fending off, avoiding and running from a particular woman who I did not want, I said I have to change this. I saw the total breakdown of any sense of order in relationships. For the most part the ultimate gaol isn’t marriage and family, and there is no such thing as dating anymore. It’s just fucking on impulse, if it last it last if it doesn’t and there more where that came from. Virtue has no value and people have no conscious. That’s what I wanted. I was left out of that. But I didn’t want to do drugs, I never have and don’t want to now. I looked at my self and said I’m healthier than most people I know younger than I am, and people are so quick to respond to looks only. So I endeavored to lose weight and tone up. This wasn’t that difficult because I worked out most of my life, I just never had a goal with it to be thin a muscular.

I dropped a lot of weight within three months. (Everything gets vague from here on out because there are some details I cannot reveal, and there are some I don’t want to reveal because those details may identify myself or other people) Everyone greeted me as if I just moved into town. It was like I was a new person but they have known me for years. Because I had lost a lot of weight it was easier to do more exercises including push ups, sit ups, jumping rope and weight lifting. I spent the next four months dedicated to getting up extremely early in the morning and working out at home then going to the gym in the evening and working out again. I had worked up to 250 push ups, 250 sit ups every morning and I was doing a vigorous evening work out at the gym. I was so focused I never looked in the mirror until I was getting burnt out. Then I couldn’t believe the transformation. Even I had to admit I was looking like I was in my twenties.

My great confession is that after this I didn’t play by the rules. I was willing to do everything taboo. I went to strip clubs looking for the hottest girls because I knew they would do things if they thought you were hot. I picked up girls at bars, and went out with girls whom I had no possibility of a relationship with only because I knew that they would fuck me be if they thought I was “hot.” But this wasn’t that great. I was fucking someone all the time but these women had all been had. I wanted something I could celebrate. Then it happened.

It started with a bikini contest. I was taking photos and I met a girl there. She didn’t excite me at first because I thought she would never have interest in me. But she and I became friendly. She still never showed interest in me but we did talk to each other. She won the contest which is always a plus. But she was getting married and her fiancé was out of the country. Her and I got together to take some more photos (this was months later after the contest) and this time she wanted to take nude photos. (Can’t post any because they are under contract.) In the conversation about her taking nude photos she revealed to me that she and her fiancé are admitted sex freaks. In fact because of their “condition” thats what has united them. That’s also why they have an agreement. As long as it wasn’t personal (whatever that means) they could have sex with someone else in each others absence. She told me so casually and we had known each other for several months now so I didn’t think I was going to be that person for her. However during our photo shoot she became more and more comfortable and would lean on me allowing her breast to lay against me while reviewing the photos. And she eventually did it naked. Then she leaned on me holding my arm, I could tell she was getting tired and without thinking I reached around backward an put my hand on her waist to hold her. This of course pulled my arm close into her body and her tits where now pressed firmly on me. She didn’t reject me holding her, but still she was so casual I still didn’t think it was going anywhere. As my arm got tired I allowed my hand to slip down to her ass. She didn’t say anything until we were down reviewing the latest set of photos. Then as we she was preparing to take another set she told me… “By the way I felt that.”

Up until now the photos we took were nude and provocative but artistic. Now she wanted to do explicit ones, for her fiancé. From the very start it was like she was different, even her face was sexually stimulating. I took advantage of this set touch her, feeling her tits as I arranged her hair, even toughing her pussy to get the best shot. But the best was taking a video of her masturbating. I told her not to spit, or use lotion or anything like that. I told her it would be far more stimulating if she made her natural wetness appear on film. She didn’t think she could do that so I told her I would help her outside of the cameras frame. Once I zoomed in on her pussy I just caressed her legs and back. The shot was perfect. You could see her as she began to get wet to her dripping, her pussy pulsate when she had her orgasm and the rush of cum that escaped and left her pussy covered with cream.

This time when she reviewed the video she acted as if she just finished having sex. She stood in front of me and pulled both my arms around her. I was already hard, had been for quite some time. Now her ass was pressed into my cock, her body was hot like a furnace and the aroma of her pussy was strong. I couldn’t help myself any longer. As she watched herself I moved my hands up an down her body only lightly feeling her tits, softly pulling her nipples and rubbing her pussy with out reaching between her legs. Nothing was certain yet. But after she saw herself cum she got excited and loudly says “Oh My God!! That is hot.” At that point I put my fingers between her legs and rub her pussy to soak my fingers in her cum. I pull my hand up an put it in front of her. Her cum is dripping off my fingers. I feel her grab my waist with both hands as she again says “Oh My God.”

I asked her if she had cum like that before. She said if she did she never saw it, because she always used spit or or some kind of lubricant. Then she froze, not realizing what we were doing she was now aware of it. She said she had to stop, reminding me she was a sex freak and was getting too carried away. My cock was pressed on her ass and she reached around to grab it as she pulled away but when she touched it she quickly turn around still with her hands on it and said “Wow that’s big. How long have you been like this?” I assume she meant how long have I been hard while we where shooting. I told her it started when she began reviewing the photos naked. She asked if she could see it so I dropped my pants and she held it again. She said she couldn’t believe how big it was. Then she stepped closer into me and put my cock between her legs, reached up and hugged me fully pressing her body into mine. She squeezed my cock against her pussy as far as she could with her thighs. Her pussy was hot and still wet. I pull her into me and she said “I have to have you. But this has to be our secret.” I kissed her and she kissed like I have never kissed anyone before. When we stopped I realized she was jerking me off with her thighs. I had a girl do this to me before but never like this. She was using her pussy like it was her hand. I told her I can keep a secret and we began kissing again. I feared I was going to cum then I realized that is what she wanted. I picked her up and wrapped her legs around me with one hand she reached behind her and held my cock against her pussy. She was still gyrating on my cock. She knew I was going o cum and told me to tell her when I’m ready. After another wild kiss that drove me crazy. I told her I was ready.

She told me to look at her. She got on her knees and put only the head of my cock in her mouth. Rolling her tongue over my head and using her lips to kiss it while stroking the shaft in a rolling motion. She again said “ Watch me baby.” and looked right into my eyes. I exploded, initially hitting her lips she opened her mouth held out her tongue and I came what seemed like forever into her mouth over her tongue. Her tongue was coated with I finished. There was some still clinging to her lips when she closed her mouth still staring into my eyes as she rolled the cum in her mouth. She wanted me to see her savor it. She then pulled my cock to push more cum out. Then kissing it again used her tongue and fingers to collect what she could squeeze out of my cock as well as what was still on her lips. Satisfied she got it all she rolled it in her mouth some more and swallowed as she stood up.

She asked me how that was and I couldn’t help but reply that it was wonderful. She told me she just loved cum, and everything about sex while still stroking my cock. She told me that she honestly didn't plan on having sex with me but it was the masturbating that began to turn her on. She was still stroking my cock and it wasn’t limp yet when I suddenly (to her) leaned into her and kissed her again. At first it wasn’t as wild as before but slowly warmed up to it. After wards she took a deep breath and said “Wow! Where did that come from?” She said no one wants to kiss after their cum has been in her mouth. I told when a girl actually likes to suck cock her mouth is much more alive after she does it. So I really wanted to kiss her. This turned her on and she began kissing me again. This time she was going crazy. She continued to stoke my cock until it got hard again. Then I laid her on the floor. I was kissed until my mouth was getting tired. Then I kissed her neck and worked my way to her tits. I felt like I was ready to pop again, But I wanted to taste her first. I got to her stomach and the smell of her pussy was overwhelming. I could only imagine how hot that pussy was if I could smell it this far away. I wanted her going wild so I still didn’t dive right into it. I kissed around the top of her pussy and thighs while caressing her inner thighs as well. I could feel her heat and juices but I had no idea what to I was going to get.

I was ready and lifted her legs so I could get my face on her pussy. When I did this the strong aroma of her pussy went up my nose and momentarily stopped me from breathing. Then I just took a deep breath to savor her scent. I looked at her pussy and it was like nothing I had ever seen before. Her cum was dripping out with air bubbles and she was so wet it looked like shampoo in her hair. I was so excited I almost popped just from seeing it. There was even a small puddle forming on the floor. I picked her up with her legs around my neck and moved to the couch we were using for our shoot. I wanted to get all of this. Instead of going right for her pussy I kissed and licked her thighs and all around her pussy. Little by little cleaning up all of her cum as I did it. Even sucking the cum out of her pussy hair. I may be just as much of a sex freak as she because I love everything about a woman. Her looks, feel, smell, and even the taste of a woman’s cum.

She was going crazy the whole time and now I was ready to eat her pussy. I had been teasing her clit and now it was standing up and ready. As soon as I touched it she dug her fingers into me and arched her back. I kissed it, worked it with my tongue and fingers as she went from loudly moaning to screaming at times. She was thrusting her pussy into me and I could feel her coming closer and closer to orgasm. Then she lost her breath and froze only to breathe in deep and scream as her pussy began pulsating so hard I could see it and hear it as well. Then for the second time her pussy released her cum. It dripped out faster than before and it was a lot more. I kept rubbing her clit and licking her juices as they flowed. I also wanted her to feel my tongue as I started at the bottom of her pussy licking her lips on both sides and scooping inside.

When I finished she was panting as sweating. But we were not done. Her pussy was hot and soaking wet. I wanted my cock in it. I lifted her and position her on the couch. Then put myself between her legs. My cock still hard and throbbing she reached for it with both hands. She took it and guided it in her pussy. I could feel how easily I could just push it all the way in but I didn’t. Instead I pushed in a small amount and pulled out. With her hands still on it she guided it in again. Where I pushed a little further then pulled out. She then grabbed my cock again. and I repeated putting it in further and pulling it out. Now I could see that she regained some energy and she was hungry for more. She put it in one more time and I pushed in with her letting out a loud moan as I did it. I got close to her where I could kiss her neck as I fucked her and I just listened to her moaning, it was music to my ears and never and only added to my excitement. Her pussy was so hot it was like setting my cock on fire, and she was working it. I pushed in all the way and held it there deeply kissing her and she screamed “OH my God, just fuck me!” I was ready to cum and told her. I thought she was going to tell me not to cum in her but instead she look at me and I could feel her open her legs wider and lock her calves around me pulling me to her. We were again looking deep into each others eyes when I exploded inside her.

I could see her melt when she felt my cum release in her. Still looking into her eyes I leaned in as kissed her while my cum was still shooting into her pussy. She was having and orgasm at the same time and was screaming out even while I kissed her.

I was drained but my cock still hard and I just didn’t want to separate from her. I quickly began fucking her again hard and fast. I had done this before. If it works it keeps my cock hard or might quickly produce a second nut. With her it definitely kept my cock hard. After about five minutes I was drained and had to stop I laid back on the couch and my dick was still straight up in the air. She laid on top of me on her side expressing astonishment that I still had a hard on.

We talked briefly about her insatiable sexual appetite. Even revealing to me other things she like to do, seeing a guy watch her pee. Not sitting on the toilet she wants her man to see pee come from her pussy. She also said she’ll have sex in the most uncommon places. She had sex in the parking lot of a mall, standing outside leaning against a car. She cut out the crotch of a pair of jeans and had sex in a public park surrounded by people who thought she was only sitting on her boyfriends lap. And she has given her boyfriend a blowjob with his parents in the room. But her sexual appetite still isn’t satisfied as me fucking her is evidence of.

Meanwhile my cock was still hard and she was still ready to go. She turn around and straddled me her gorgeous pussy hanging above my face. She began giving me a blow job. This time taking my cock deep in her mouth. Kissing up and down the shaft, and stroking it with one hand then both.. I got on her clit right away this time and it was clearly sending shockwaves of sensation through her. She used that energy to better suck my cock as I used the sensation she was giving me to better eat her pussy. Her pussy was dripping but I was pushing it away because I was afraid it was my own cum. However we were going for a long time and after a while I was satisfied that it had to be hers now. If it can be judged by the taste I have to say I was right. I ate her until her pussy was pulsating again and she couldn’t concentrate of sucking my cock anymore. I pulled myself under her and fucked her from behind. Watching her ass spread wide and her tight pussy hug my cock only added to the sensation of fucking her. She came again and it was creaming my cock. I kept taking my fingers and getting her juices then licking my fingers while I fucked her. Finally I felt my cock swelling again to exploded with more cum. I started going slow holding her ass, calculating my strokes going deep. She screamed again and I told her I was going to cum. She turned around and sucked my cock just like she was when we were doing a sixty-nine. Slow and deep stroking with both hands. She asked if I was ready and I told her soon. She again said “look at me.’

As she slowly pulled my cock in and out of her mouth, stroking me up and down with her hands she never took her eyes off mine. Then as I was getting hard and about to cum she said “I can feel it, cum for me, I want it.” I came but she didn’t put it in her mouth. Instead she held it against her face then after I popped a couple of lines she quickly pulled herself up and against me firmly placing my cock between her tits and allowing me to finish there. After I was done she clean my cock by squeezing the cum out and licking it off. I was so spent, finally breathing normal after three loads. She was back to acting casual but playful as well. My cock was as limp as it was going to get for now. She just stood up took me by the hand and said we have to clean up now.

She found towels easily as if it were her house. Lead me into the bathroom and got into the shower. Then she said she has to pee first. I thought she was going get out of the shower. Instead she turns her back to me. Leans on the wall and presses her ass into my cock. Then I feel the warn liquid flow as she pissed and grind her pussy on me as she did it. Then she laughed and said “I knew the moment I met you that you were a big freak too.” We showered and washed the cum off her face and tits. As well I took my time washing her pussy.

When we were done she asked me why I never tried to fuck her before. I told her I thought she could not have ever been interested in me because I was older than her, she being 25 and me now 50. But as I observed with people in modern relationships she stated I was hot to her. That’s all that would have mattered.

Before she left she called her fiancé and told him about shoot,even sending him some of the photos. Letting him know she has a surprise for him to remember her by. I was stunned how casual she was and convincingly passionate when she told him how much she loved and missed him. She even had me get on the phone with him to talk about the photos. She talked him for about a half hour. When she left it was like we had never done anything. She just thanked me for the photos, told me she would call me later and walked out the door. I was stunned. But I was happy.

This isn’t the end of our story… However this was far more lengthy than I had planned, I just got into telling it. So I’m going to post a a part II and more explaining how this lead to more encounters with this girl and how that lead to another violation of sacred rules with yet another girl and even more after that.

For the past couple of months I've been meeting with a black hooker for amazing blowjobs, it all started with every husbands complaint of after a few years of marriage the sex starts to tapper off. So one day I was super horny and put an add on Craigslist looking for an NSA blowjob, I got a reply from a young black girl who was very close to my work and could host, she claimed she wasn't a full time hooker but just down on her luck and needed some cash. We agreed on $40 for 15 minutes and I got to cum in her mouth.

It was great, so I met with her a couple more times, but at $40 bucks a pop it was adding up, so I struck a deal with her and got her down to $20 every time but I guaranteed I will meet her 5 times a week. Since then I've also managed to basically convince her to let me do anything I want to her mouth for that
15 minutes, and have even gotten her to dress up, or get naked and have been fingering her at the same time.

Since I need to fund this somehow I've stopped eating out and started bringing a bagged lunch, in return I've lost weight from eating better, my boss has noticed my production go up because I tend to only take 5 minutes for lunch plus I'm not tired in the afternoon from a big steak sandwich or something, part of that to is the fact that around lunch I start getting super horny as I email my latest request to my little cocksucker and tend to stay at my desk secretly stroking my cock in anticipation of the afternoons fun to come instead of checking out the office girls all afternoon.

Also right around 7:00 or 8:00 in the evening I start to get horny again thinking about all the dirty stuff I've been doing to this girls mouth and get in the mood, I can't go meet her again so the wife will do. We've been having sex regularly again and because I get most of my perverse cravings taken care of elsewhere I don't mind a little love making, which in turn makes her happy and makes her want to do more for me. This past weekend she surprised me by dressing up slutty and taking it in the ass, which is usually reserved for birthdays and anniversaries.

Recently I've also been conversing with my blowjob girl and have found she rather likes our agreement as she gets some guaranteed income, she knows I'm married so STD free is very important and the fact I'm a good looking guy with a nice, manicured cock makes it enjoyable for her, plus I get her little gifts here and there and am respectful of her boundaries, which quite frankly are non existent when it comes to blowjobs.

Mondays are my favourite because I'm usually having withdrawals and after a couple days of not cumming I have a big load saved up to make a mess all over my little sluts face. I've
already started stroking under my desk so that I have a big, juicy load for her, now my biggest dilemma is to decide what I want to do to her today. Her deepthroat skills are amazing and recently I've been blowing my load when I'm balls deep in her throat, and she able to swallow it without so much as wince, and absolutely no gagging, so maybe that.....

Last week was a amazing, the one day I was in the mood to have her hang her head off the edge of the bed and fuck her mouth, she obliged and I finished all over tits while fingering her. Another day I asked her to put pig tails in her nappy hair and too much makeup, again she obliged and I sprayed a huge load all over her face.
On a few occasions I had her put her tung out for me to fill with cum and then have her swallow it in one big gulp, and all with no complaints.

Friday afternoon I had her sit on the floor up against the bed, I put one leg up on the bed and fucked her mouth with instructions to let my cum dribble out of her mouth onto her tits when I finish, but this time I requested that she beg me for my cum, she was good sport and was very convincing
In her request to "fill my slutty little mouth with cum", and "let me taste that juice".

So now I'm trying to think of new scenarios to try with her, any reasonable ideas? And there is no sex, only oral........

I found a cheat code for women, pretty early on, in my 20's, and I have been using it to the fullest.

Now, I am writing this from Europe, and I am not sure how the guys from across the ocean will relate to this, so I have to give a little prelude.

I was born in a city,in a privileged family. Now, this city is a big university center, so every year, girls from all over, come to the uni. Many of them, come from the countryside, rural parts of the country, and they are acting like loose canons, while feeling inadequate in a weird way.

My "city charm", consisting of an accent and a few manners that were regarded "cool" back then, gave not much luck with our, local girls, but when I was at the uni myself, I realized, countryside girls would drool all over it.

So I had a lots of action, with girls who, in different settings, would be out of my league. The best part was, how naive most of them were, naive, or just not ready to look "not cool" or "not urban enough" if they declined something I wanted.

The hottest girl I ever dated, broke up with me, when she, after one year of going out with me, confided to her friend, that I always cum on her face, and I did, every single time, without any exceptions, and her friend convinced her that that is not normal, and that there is no love there. I had a muslim girl, who was "saving herself for marriage", so I convinced her to do anal, so I fucked her in the ass for three - four months straight.

Sadly, time passes, and this tactic was working up until I got near 30, so, eventually, it stopped. It stopped with the uni girls, but soon enough, I realized, I have developed some kind of radar for insecure women. It is not often, nor successful as it once was, but women over 30 are prone to the same thing.

They are not as hot as girls from my youth were, but, when I see poor fashion choices, on a woman working on a good job, I just sense it, little village girls is still there, somewhere inside her. The spiel is different, of course, but the principle is the same.

My latest catch is a big tit brunette lawyer. Successful woman, yet yearning for validation. She is 40, so a year younger than me, and I am using her as a piece of fine meat.

This is probably the reason I never got married, but I do realize that at some point, this has to end. I get existential crisis from time to time, what will be of me, then, but soon enough it wears off. In the end, nothing beats good sex.