Merry Christmas! I must confess I've been thinking of all the kinky Chirstmas presents I could get my wife... I've dearmed about being tied spread Eagle and nude to a bed and leaving her a note saying "write your feelings about me in permanent ink" next to me then enjoy yourself in any way you like" I've thought about the Christmas lingerie I could give her and all the things I could wear that are festive for her. I've thought about having her do a "hysterical literature" style reading of the Christmas story. I've thought a out uer having three cocks in her room in addition to me - 1 uncut white big cock, 1 cut BBC, and one uncut BBC and letting her choose between them or all of them. What Christmas fantasies have I missed? 

I would absolutely LOVE if any of you beautiful ladies would make a Hysterical Literature type video. these vids drive me wild. I would love to see more! please let me know!!

thanks in advance!!xo

the LOL-factor is very high tonight on these boards. you twits are hysterical. thx

Well to start off, I work in a jail. I happen to work in the womens sector of the jail and I'm a male. A few weeks ago I was working in the booking center when a girl who had to be about 19 came in for a DUI. She was about 5'3 black hair, brown eyes and a ton of tattoos. She was hysterically crying, I calmed her down and told her she'd probably be spending 2 days max and that's it. She responded with a smile, and the entire time in booking kept smiling. I transported her to her cell and as we were walking accidently brushed against her ass. She looked over and smiled, I locked her up and left, during my rounds of the holding cells, I caught her masturbating in the cell. I can't say how much this turned me on. She knew I was watching and continued. In jails and prisons they exchange notes which are called kites from cell to cell. I happened to intercept one of these notes, it read that someone wanted to rip the clothes of one of the co's so I was hoping it was her. Needless to say she'll be released in a week, and I want to figure out a way to fuck this little thing before she leaves.

I confess my name is Joe Christfag. I'm a member of an 85% majority group who acts like a persecuted minority. I expect to be unconditionally respected, and never criticized, for believing in the literal truth of some mythological fables written by unknown authors thousands of years ago.

I act like my entire way of life is under assault whenever an irreligious person tells me I believe silly things for silly reasons. I claim to be convinced I'm going to live forever in a perfect wonderland of eternal awesomeness, but my doubt shows through when I get hysterically defensive over any perceived slight of my belief system.

In the end, I know deep down my religion is a huge load of bullshit, but I could never muster the strength of character to actually admit it. I'll just go through the motions and pretend to believe, for not better reason than because it's the same load of shit my parents, grandparents, and ancestors all believed. I pretend my religion is an affirming and uplifting thing, when in fact it instills me with nothing but guilt and fear.

I can never properly appreciate the beauty and wonder of this world and the universe it inhabits, because I'm supposed to act like this existence is some minor, insignificant preamble to another, better, more important existence.

I go to a special building once a week where I metaphorically cannibalize a dead carpenter so as to win the favor of his father the magical sky-god, but I accuse other faiths of having strange, creepy rituals.

I'm Joe Christfag, and I approve this message.

What is a good comedy movie. Im not a fan of Hollywood high budget "comedies". They are too Jewish, rich, glossy and tacky. Most people will say movies like The Hangover and the like were exceptional. However this is not my cup of tea in terms of American comedies. I prefer the B, C and probably a D grade production comedy. Its more raw and nothing is taboo. Everyone and everything is fair game.

I do like Will Farrell though. What would you guys recommend as a good comedy movie?

I like the cat taking a shit on the toilet in the movie Date Movie. That in my opinion was hysterical. The laughing began hurting.