I confess that I get off to anything that shocks me. Motherless helps with ita little but it's almost like an addiction, I need it and everything else seems too ordinary and plain.
In real life I'm fairly normal... except when the sudden urge to do something spontaneous and shocking takes over, and suddenly I'm seeing a prostitute, cumming in my female friend's shampoo in the washroom, finding videos of my parents fucking in their private collection and masturbating to it, or even getting sucked off at an adult bookstore while watching gay porn. None of it really appeals to me but the shock value that I'm doing it is intense. I once paid for humiliating dominatrix phone/cam sex because half the time my brain was getting off to the thought of "I can't believe I'm doing this" and "what the fuck am I doing?". I'm starting to think that I can't control this compulsion although another part of me doesn't want to.
I'm guessing I'm not the only one on Motherless who gets off to shocking things though. But I'm thinking I have a pretty bad case.
