I'm trying to be less selfish this holiday season. Afterall, it is better to give rather than receive. That's from the Bible, the straight dope, if you will. Jesus, himself said that, well at least to hear Paul tell it, he did.
So instead of writing a letter asking for a bunch of material distractions that i don't need, I simply asked St. Nick (legitimate catholic saint, so suck it protestants! Santa eats the flesh and drinks the blood of our resurrected saviour, Jesus Christ, the carpenter. Yep, that's what he does right after he makes a full confession of his sins, those of thought as well as deed, before an OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED representative of Jesus' most holy Father. No!, not Joseph the carpenter, God, the father, of the "Father, Son and Holy Ghost" fame . . . Nail that to a door, bitches!) to leave a digital camera beneath the tree of every teenaged girl in the world as my present on Super-Happy-Funtime-Jesus-Day!
I just want to introduce the joy of personal photography into the lives of every nubile young woman alive. Afterall, a beautiful photograph is a gift that can be appreciated over and over, a moment frozen in time and digitally preserved forever, or at least until the coming zombie apocalypse foretold to mark the advent of Christ's triumphant earthly return brings our civilization to its knees.
Huh, you know, when I read that out loud, it sounds more crazy than when I think it silently to myself . . .
