This might be long, so if you do not have the patience, you've been warned.

I am a 40 year old divorcee, single mother. My life is work, and my daughter, trying to survive paycheck to paycheck.

You can imagine that such life, that has been going on for the past four years, since our divorce, left it's toll on my social, and sexual life. Somehow, I found refuge on the internet, and here I am.

I was never a beauty, far from it, but I had my ways of making up for it, covering my flaws with a long, blonde hair, and a fit body, men were after me, and I got pregnant with one of them, which led to marriage. Soon enough, we found out we weren't compatible, and ended it after less than a year. After that, said life made me lose focus on my looks, my sexuality, I gained a few pounds, and it all went to hell, men stopped noticing me, I felt a huge fall in my self esteem, and became lonely, and desperate, so desperate, that I found my went here, among other places.

At first, it was just stories, then it went to forums, images, and in the end porn. I can't quite describe what made me lustful in porn, but it felt nice, I saw some things I never did, even though I felt like a pretty open minded woman, some things intrigued me, and I just felt the spark of passion, lighting up inside me.

Soon enough, I started online sexting, had a few cam sex sessions, and it got even more exciting.

So, I would, once a month, leave my daughter at my parents house, not to go out, even though I told them that is the reason, but to stay in, relax, and immerse myself into the world of fantasy. I would spend two days, almost completely naked, with wine, and my lap top. Started taking care of my looks again, bought some lingerie, shaved myself down there, made some cheeky photos, for my future sexting adventures, and it was all fun, and very, very exciting.

Never saw that going any further, I was not interested in a real man, from flesh and blood, and I was ok with it, until...

One of those weekends, it was morning, I just got online, and the guy I had some fun with a few times, was there. We started sexting, he asked me what am I doing, if I am alone, and I said yes . Then he told me he would love to come over, I responded - me too. Now, till this point we never talked about our location, and he asked me where I am from. When I said it, he smiled - we live in the same city, not such an outrageous coincidence, considering I live in a small country in Europe.

And I gave him my adress.

I waited for him for about an hour, and in that period of time, I was elated at one point, while shivering in fear the next. I couldn't wait for him to touch me, and at the same time thought how I would end up dead, since he must be some lunatic, god knows what he will do to me.

He wasn't, he was just a married guy, whose wife and kids are away often, during the weekends. I didn't know what to do, how to behave, so I ended up opening the door in a one piece lingerie. He kissed me on the doorstep, and we went straight to the bedroom.

He was still fully clothed, when he went down on me. I was so sex starved, that I think I came in a few minutes, but honestly, I do not know, it might have been an hour, since I was totally out of it. When I looked down, after getting back my senses, he was already naked, big, fully erect, and standing by the bed. I went down on my knees so fast, and it tasted so good. I was never a fan of sucking, I did it many times, but this was the first one, that I fully enjoyed. I wanted to swallow it, I licked his balls, kissed his leg, rubbed his cock against my face, while burning from lust.

He bent me over the bed, with my knees still on the floor, moved my onepiece to the side, and I felt his hand on my clit. I was so wet, that with every move, I made that sound, you know... Then I felt his lips on my bottom, and eventually, his tongue on my anus. At that moment, the realization that I didn't shave that, made me anxious, but as he continued to work on it with his full tongue, made me relaxed, once again.

That was another thing I never experienced, and it was good, and his hand was doing all the right things, and I was so close, when he pulled my hand down, and guided me, to continue it, by myself. I did, and he stood up, I could her the condom wrapper break, and I loved the idea that he is standing there, looking at me, as I pleasured myself, while moving my hips in a circular motion. I wanted him so badly, and I didn't want to cum before he enters, and I was so close, so damn close, when I felt his head on my anus.

I wanted to protest, to say something, since, that was another thing I never experienced, but I was so close, and as he started going in, slowly, inch by inch, pull out almost fully, and start going back in, even slower, I started cumming so hard, that it made me sob.

I guess that was too much for him too, so he grabbed my hair, thrusted four or five times, really fast, and really hard, and started roaring like a fucking lion. It did hurt, but it was the sweetest pain I ever felt.

I was so weak, that I couldn't even make coffee, so he did. We talked till sunset, when he had to go. He told me we will do this often, he told me he is mesmerized by me, he told it, and went away.

His profile got deleted the same night. I can't say that I am surprised, but I am disappointed. Still, I have no regrets, that one afternoon, was the highlight of my sex life, from the day I was born. And it brought a lots of self esteem back, I am now trying to better myself in more ways than one.

I still have my weekends, and this is my first free weekend, since it happened, at the end of October. I am not looking for anything right now, and who knows, weekends like that one might never happen again, but who knows.

And that is it.

P.S. I hope you won't judge.