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You're getting fucked by your father
By your own flesh an blood
You suffer torment
Ir suits him
Why does he do that?
Why is he doing that to you?
Is that his love?
Does it make him a man?
You're sickend at him
His saliva and his kisses
By his hand on your lap
By his hand on your breats
If that's his love
He's an idiot
If that's life
You desire death

You're crying in your pillow at night
You are afraid of him
Afraid, that he comes inside you
At his game
You can't deal with it
You can't defend yourself
You can't tell anyone
You're too ashamed

You're too young
Much too young
You're too young
Much too young, much too young
You don't know what happens
You don't know why
You wanna scream
But you stay mute

This is a communique between myself and a girl I used to fuck. My responses are in quotations.

The previous times they had slept together the intensity had escalated nicely, organically and without the tedium of words and planning. The first time he fucked her it was hurried and urgent, racing the clock before his unsuspecting roommates would return home. After barely five minutes he'd shook his head and uttered "you're too much for me" and pushed deep as he released inside her, behind latex. Several dates later as he fucked her bare, she whispered in his ear that she'd love it if he didn't pull out this time; breathlessly he confirmed the request and almost immediately came, shaking as he shot hard within her eager body. She loved the warm wetness when he pulled out, and the slick reminder of him lingering inside her as she went about her day.

But on this day there was a certain new edge to the energy between them, something menacing coming to the surface as he suddenly threw her against the bed. Then back to gentle and tender kissing. Light, grazing touches. Her heart raced, having no idea which direction all this was taking. The slight fear of him was terribly erotic and she gave herself over to it. Her manner shifted almost imperceptibly. Her entire body seemed to take on a slight posture of invitation, ready to be used, and her wide eyes flashed with willingness.

"The form that flesh takes and in its desire. To be lost in the rage and despair. It is but a knife edge, the menacing nature below the surface. The need to contain, dominate, dictate. And that tenderness reminds me of the intimate, the senses satisfied, which while I do feel, I prefer the hollow, the shell of fear, the unsuredness of ones own nature. The slope upon which we fell, I revisit daily. I would use your body again as a vassal, I would grip more firmly the control of us, and less firmly of me, for in those moments I come closest to my limit.

In cruder terms I want you as an object, a canvass for sexual mistrust and rage"

He flipped her again harshly and without warning, face-down on the bed. He straddled her just below her hips and she felt his cock pressing, searching. She arched up as much as she could and gasped as he slid his whole thick length into her. She loved how full his cock always made her feel, she felt stretched tight around it, truly penetrated. The first few thrusts were deliberate, even casual. Then he started to pick up the pace, until soon he was drilling into her. He leaned forward and wrapped a strong hand around her throat, squeezing enough to cut off her breath. Another flood of fear mixed with excitement washed over her and she tensed. The grip released and she drew in breath sharply, panting. He grabbed her right arm and pinned it behind her back, hard. She rode the discomfort of it, mentally aligned the pain of her twisted elbow and shoulder with the intense pleasure of being fucked. He grabbed her left arm and pinned it the same way. She fought panic and took in the fact of being in this helpless position for the first time. Now he kept both of her arms pinned firmly with his own body as he leveraged his weight forward and gripped her throat again. She felt pressure build behind her eyes and the sound of her pounding heart filled her ears. Release, gasp for breath. Grip, release. Gripping again, this time a fraction harder... unconsciously she pressed into his hand, craning her neck to encourage him. She was overwhelmed by her pleasure in submitting. In that moment she desired to be hurt, taken, used for his pleasure in any way he demanded.

"The body remembers well. The cock pressed inside, against the back of your throat. Spreading each orifice anew. How taut you became under my hand."

What are you going to do?" He murmured it so low she had to ask him to repeat it. Slightly confused, she replied with uncertainty "I don't know..." They had scarcely spoken a word during sex in previous sessions. With a serious face he looked her over and said very slowly "You are going to do whatever I want you to." Blood rushed to her cheeks and between her legs as she silently nodded assent. He grabbed her legs roughly and spread them wide in a swift movement. There was a controlled measure of violence in his face and she gazed into it, showing him her fear mixed with arousal. Still looking her in the eye, he reached down and slid two fingers inside her... slid out and back with three... slid out and back with four. She moaned low with pleasure, pushing against his hand as he rocked it back and forth, curling his fingers inside her. He started to push harder and she felt the hard knuckles of his hand pressing to gain entry. She gasped in audible pain, involuntarily closing her legs around his hand. He relented, easing the pressure and the pain returned to a pleasurable level. This exercise was repeated a number of times, but in the end the pain was too great when he tried to force his hand inside. So he raised it, warm and wet from her, to her face and she opened her mouth obediently, eagerly. He slid all four fingers into her mouth and she closed her eyes in enjoyment as she cleaned her taste from them.

I'm trying to be less selfish this holiday season. Afterall, it is better to give rather than receive. That's from the Bible, the straight dope, if you will. Jesus, himself said that, well at least to hear Paul tell it, he did.

So instead of writing a letter asking for a bunch of material distractions that i don't need, I simply asked St. Nick (legitimate catholic saint, so suck it protestants! Santa eats the flesh and drinks the blood of our resurrected saviour, Jesus Christ, the carpenter. Yep, that's what he does right after he makes a full confession of his sins, those of thought as well as deed, before an OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED representative of Jesus' most holy Father. No!, not Joseph the carpenter, God, the father, of the "Father, Son and Holy Ghost" fame . . . Nail that to a door, bitches!) to leave a digital camera beneath the tree of every teenaged girl in the world as my present on Super-Happy-Funtime-Jesus-Day!

I just want to introduce the joy of personal photography into the lives of every nubile young woman alive. Afterall, a beautiful photograph is a gift that can be appreciated over and over, a moment frozen in time and digitally preserved forever, or at least until the coming zombie apocalypse foretold to mark the advent of Christ's triumphant earthly return brings our civilization to its knees.

Huh, you know, when I read that out loud, it sounds more crazy than when I think it silently to myself . . .

This might be long, so if you do not have the patience, you've been warned.

I am a 40 year old divorcee, single mother. My life is work, and my daughter, trying to survive paycheck to paycheck.

You can imagine that such life, that has been going on for the past four years, since our divorce, left it's toll on my social, and sexual life. Somehow, I found refuge on the internet, and here I am.

I was never a beauty, far from it, but I had my ways of making up for it, covering my flaws with a long, blonde hair, and a fit body, men were after me, and I got pregnant with one of them, which led to marriage. Soon enough, we found out we weren't compatible, and ended it after less than a year. After that, said life made me lose focus on my looks, my sexuality, I gained a few pounds, and it all went to hell, men stopped noticing me, I felt a huge fall in my self esteem, and became lonely, and desperate, so desperate, that I found my went here, among other places.

At first, it was just stories, then it went to forums, images, and in the end porn. I can't quite describe what made me lustful in porn, but it felt nice, I saw some things I never did, even though I felt like a pretty open minded woman, some things intrigued me, and I just felt the spark of passion, lighting up inside me.

Soon enough, I started online sexting, had a few cam sex sessions, and it got even more exciting.

So, I would, once a month, leave my daughter at my parents house, not to go out, even though I told them that is the reason, but to stay in, relax, and immerse myself into the world of fantasy. I would spend two days, almost completely naked, with wine, and my lap top. Started taking care of my looks again, bought some lingerie, shaved myself down there, made some cheeky photos, for my future sexting adventures, and it was all fun, and very, very exciting.

Never saw that going any further, I was not interested in a real man, from flesh and blood, and I was ok with it, until...

One of those weekends, it was morning, I just got online, and the guy I had some fun with a few times, was there. We started sexting, he asked me what am I doing, if I am alone, and I said yes . Then he told me he would love to come over, I responded - me too. Now, till this point we never talked about our location, and he asked me where I am from. When I said it, he smiled - we live in the same city, not such an outrageous coincidence, considering I live in a small country in Europe.

And I gave him my adress.

I waited for him for about an hour, and in that period of time, I was elated at one point, while shivering in fear the next. I couldn't wait for him to touch me, and at the same time thought how I would end up dead, since he must be some lunatic, god knows what he will do to me.

He wasn't, he was just a married guy, whose wife and kids are away often, during the weekends. I didn't know what to do, how to behave, so I ended up opening the door in a one piece lingerie. He kissed me on the doorstep, and we went straight to the bedroom.

He was still fully clothed, when he went down on me. I was so sex starved, that I think I came in a few minutes, but honestly, I do not know, it might have been an hour, since I was totally out of it. When I looked down, after getting back my senses, he was already naked, big, fully erect, and standing by the bed. I went down on my knees so fast, and it tasted so good. I was never a fan of sucking, I did it many times, but this was the first one, that I fully enjoyed. I wanted to swallow it, I licked his balls, kissed his leg, rubbed his cock against my face, while burning from lust.

He bent me over the bed, with my knees still on the floor, moved my onepiece to the side, and I felt his hand on my clit. I was so wet, that with every move, I made that sound, you know... Then I felt his lips on my bottom, and eventually, his tongue on my anus. At that moment, the realization that I didn't shave that, made me anxious, but as he continued to work on it with his full tongue, made me relaxed, once again.

That was another thing I never experienced, and it was good, and his hand was doing all the right things, and I was so close, when he pulled my hand down, and guided me, to continue it, by myself. I did, and he stood up, I could her the condom wrapper break, and I loved the idea that he is standing there, looking at me, as I pleasured myself, while moving my hips in a circular motion. I wanted him so badly, and I didn't want to cum before he enters, and I was so close, so damn close, when I felt his head on my anus.

I wanted to protest, to say something, since, that was another thing I never experienced, but I was so close, and as he started going in, slowly, inch by inch, pull out almost fully, and start going back in, even slower, I started cumming so hard, that it made me sob.

I guess that was too much for him too, so he grabbed my hair, thrusted four or five times, really fast, and really hard, and started roaring like a fucking lion. It did hurt, but it was the sweetest pain I ever felt.

I was so weak, that I couldn't even make coffee, so he did. We talked till sunset, when he had to go. He told me we will do this often, he told me he is mesmerized by me, he told it, and went away.

His profile got deleted the same night. I can't say that I am surprised, but I am disappointed. Still, I have no regrets, that one afternoon, was the highlight of my sex life, from the day I was born. And it brought a lots of self esteem back, I am now trying to better myself in more ways than one.

I still have my weekends, and this is my first free weekend, since it happened, at the end of October. I am not looking for anything right now, and who knows, weekends like that one might never happen again, but who knows.

And that is it.

P.S. I hope you won't judge.

Just a (fictional) little story I've been working on. This is a first draft. Let me know if you'd like to read more. (What I've written so far is pretty long, so it'll have to be posted in installments.)
______________

It's eleven o'clock on a Friday night, and I'm driving home from the grocery store. I lead an exciting life. I always slow down when I pass through the strip of college bars on my way home. I wouldn't want to run over a poor drunk frat boy. I wouldn't want to miss the skimpy outfits the sorority girls are wearing, either. When they have a few drinks in them, they never seem to notice that their shirts are riding a little too low, or that their skirts are hiked up a little too high.

While I wait in the road for a couple of guys to carry their drunk buddy across, I take notice one of these unfortunate sluts. Perky tits, tiny little waist, and just enough hip to hold her skirt up. She's sitting on the curb, with her perky little tits spilling out of her skin-tight top. The light is dim, but I could swear I see a hard pink nipple poking out, begging to be squeezed. She drunkenly shifts her legs and gives me a perfect view of her lacy white panties. The cloth is slightly askew, revealing just a peak of her pink, hairless pussy. I get wet just looking at her, and ache to rub my own pussy through my jeans.

Just as I reach down and rub my throbbing cunt through my pants, a honk from behind me breaks me out of my trance. I've apparently been sitting there in the middle of the street a little too long. I wave at the other driver and drive ahead, losing sight of the sorority slut. As I begin imagining what her date might do to her tonight, blue lights flash in my rear view mirror. Great. I guess a cop noticed my little vacation in the middle of the road, too.

I pull over to the side of the road, and notice that the car behind me is an unmarked police car. Why does he care if I sit in the road too long? Doesn't he have better things to do? As he gets out of his car and starts walking towards me, I notice just how large he is. He's at least 6'4”. He's not a body-builder by any means, but he still looks like he could break me in half. I've already rolled down my window by the time he makes it to me, but the asshole still knocks on my door with his flashlight to get my attention. I grit my teeth against the knowledge that he's just scratched my paint, and say, “Is there a problem, officer?”

He speaks with his gruff voice, and tells me, “I'm going to need you to step out of the car, ma'am.”
“Is that really necessary, sir?”
He lowers his voice to a menacing growl, “Get out of the car. Now.”
“Okay.” As I step out of the car, I notice that, while his gun and taser seem genuine, his badge isn't real. It's a cheap plastic badge you'd get at a costume shop. He catches me looking at his badge and grabs me by the wrist, spins me around, and pins me against the car, my tits pressed against the door. “Who the fuck are you? Let go of me, now!”

In answer, he grabs my other arm, pulls out honest-to-god handcuffs, and cuffs my wrists together. I scream at him this time, “Who the fuck are you?!”
“That's none of your goddamn business, whore.”

He kicks my legs apart, and jams his knee into my crotch. My pussy that had been throbbing in pleasure only minutes before is now in searing pain. Tears stream from my eyes, and he squeezes his hand between me and the car, working his way up my shirt. He reaches my tits and squeezes the right one until I cry out in pain. Mercifully, he pulls his hand out of my shirt, and I breathe a sigh of relief, even as tears stream down my face from the pain in my pussy.

I hear a metallic click, and my breath catches in my throat in fear. I stand perfectly still, and he once again slides his hand up my shirt. This time, though, he has a knife. He runs it up my belly just firm enough to barely slice my skin. I scream, and he uses his other hand to roughly cover my mouth. He cuts me from belly-button to my bra, just enough to draw blood. Tears are now streaming down my face in earnest, and I can't control the sobbing noises coming from my throat. He adjusts the angle of the blade, and saws at my bra, also digging deeper into my flesh. The searing pain makes my breath catch again, but as soon as it started, it stops. He's cut through my bra, and my tits spring free. He pulls the bra away from my tits, and returns with the knife. He pokes at each of my nipples with the knife tip, causing me to cry out in fear. He chuckles darkly, the first noise he's made in several minutes, cuts down the length of my shirt for good measure, and removes his hand and the knife from inside my shirt.

Why has no one noticed that this is going on? We're on the side of the road. Surely someone should have noticed by now? He grabs my throat, moves his knee away from my aching crotch, and spins me around to face him. The hand on my throat tightens, making it all but impossible to breathe. With his other hand, he puts the knife to the base of my throat. I finally get a look at it; it's only about four inches long, but lethally sharp with one serrated edge. The smooth edge of the blade rests on my throat as he says, “Go on and cry, bitch. It's better when you cry.”

To be continued...

Evil: how does it work?

It starts in your thoughts. Fooled into thinking you can
control yourself, that you're capable of control, that playing
with thoughts in your head is free.

But thinking impure thoughts is not free.

When you think impure thoughts. He knows and seeks control.

As you're eating poop, puke and bodies, that all taste like your
favourite sweets at wealthy peoples parties
laughing madly for the massive gratification, tens times stronger
than your first orgasm with every mouthful, no regard to the price,
if anything convinced it's all free because you're so clever and deserving,
completely suggestable overwhelmed with toxins in a toxic room.

It started with a belief you could not be defeated by yourself,
that you could overcome playing with thoughts. Do you still think
it now that you're sober and all the years and everything in ruin,
you were tricked. You simply offered a long mild respectable
pleasant life, for a paranoid painful life with momentary burst
of mad evil happiness. Gained nothing, or worse.

It started with a belief you could not be defeated by yourself.

But nobody is as all power as him. Who nows when you think evil
and takes over control.

How to control the problem? stop thinking evil thoughts, then
you no longer receive debt, yes debt, yes debt do not deceive
that living or thinking is free, the feeling he gives you for
the thoughts, which are not actually free, but all debt to him;
to be paid in full, no chance of avoiding debts to him and what
he'll make you do. No will is as strong as his, you are flesh
and blood, he is him, undefeatable, eternal.

Don't defeat yourself. Do this by trying to remember that thinking
evil thoughts, is not free, should be avoided, in the first place.

Think fast, intercept your thoughts, he sends his debt from afar
but if you're thought interception is quick, you can still win
and blank out receiving debt, say when bad thoughts start, you
have say upto half a second to blank them out, before he sends
pleasure and starts is debt meter, looking forward to making you
a puppet of depravity, any depravity he can imagine, as you dance
on his strings awash with massive concentrated pleasure stolen
from your everyday life, but made as debt too, despite it already
being alloted free by God, maybe he would call it, a transmutation
and redelivery fee.

And don't move around people who constantly invite evil.
They're likely full of demonic forces, that may follow you around
even if you're pure good and may overpower you invisibly.
Such people are not humble and use foul language, blind low ranking
imps, may take any form of your fantasy ideals, but know them without
eyes or ears, without these laughable exploitable data receptors.

Empower yourself to be neither a good or evil person. Empower yourself
to be just a human being, only a human being, in the image of God,
just only this, not a fantasy dreamt in toxic environments to make
you less than you should be.

All the same can be said of loitering amongst so say good, and they
ask you pay them with good deeds to the needy. So be ever careful,
humble, on nobodies side but your own, because you're serious where
others would opt to believe in fairytales, you're neither, just
human, in the image of God. And with some wisdom, retained, ever
free, all decisions your own and so unregretable, look back in 200
years with some pride at your old bones in that nameless resting place,
you defeated good evil and the system and it's
control structures and unlocked human power, living humble and sensible
without any debts, every moment tolerable, because you mastered all
disciplines and found all the tricks of [everything] and knew not
to do anything with belief you could get away with it, because you
know you can't escape yourself when a day comes and it's you judging
yourself harshly.

Key thoughts...

"How would you like to be remembered."

If I think evil, and I know it is a trick, in the full scale of entirety
I shalt blank it out, in that brief interval, no more than half a second
maybe less than a tenth if he is close by, fast, so the devil knows my thoughts
not and not gets interested!!!

( if this doesn't ring true to you, I'm sorry, but it is true in some worlds I live, lets not be silly and pretend there aren't infinite worlds, we all know what we know. Myself I have no persuasion, and care not much about anyone, other
people none of my interest.)

PUNISHMENT MANIFESTO: I read through tons of the pathetic posts on the MOTHERLESS message board and it disgusts me. Bogus pictures downloaded, false stories about sexual adventures told and just plain stupidity displayed by weak-minded clowns guised by the pervert aesthetic. Well let me assure you that my confession is from my black heart and isn�t some cry for attention. Those who can resonate to my experiences and visions may perhaps understand what my being craves. Those who don�t will NEVER understand.

Let me begin by saying I have always been lured in by the darker side of life. Since I was a child, violence and sex fascinated me. My upbringing was pretty average, I wasn�t molested or abused. But I loved to see people get hurt and anytime I could see nude female flesh (real or porn) I couldn�t resist. So my identity was born, not molded. I just evolved as time went on.

I started off a voyeur, watching my single mother next door neighbor undress at night and sometime even have sex. It was a turn on to watch and not be seen. When I got older I started to roam the town in search of new sights.

When I became sexual active I couldn�t have so-called normal sex. It had to be aggressive and degrading to the girl. I usually dated girls with bad reputations so I felt like they were getting what they deserved. When I dated a girl who was semi-normal, if she teased me I made sure she finished! Any cunt that lets you rub your cock on her pussy is asking for it!

Later I got involved in S&M and other sexual ritualistic actions. By then my mind had surpassed my body. It was the ideas in my head that led me to my vices, not my cock. And in my world I was GOD! My rules and my pleasures! If you entered my circle you would indeed be consumed by the blackness of my soul.

Enough of all that bullshit for now! I just wanted to give you a background on where I came from. What am I now?

I AM THE ONLY! HE WHO PUNISHES THE WHORES!

The pain I inflict on them brings me to a place of orgasmic ecstasy! Their agony is my muse and their flesh is my canvas. Is it wrong to stalk those who flaunt themselves and flirt with every man with a cock? These so-called strong single women need to be taught a lesson! If they play the slut, they shall indeed be treated like a slut! Don�t get me wrong, I am not just some women hater. In fact I feel every man should have a good one by his side. But the others who think fucking a variety of men makes them independent women should be put in their place. And if the whore is married and cheating on her husband, then she should be abused like the slut she is! Do you understand what I am saying. Not ALL women should be dealt with, just the ones who deserve it. And there are MANY of them out there!

I have done things to women some people couldn�t stomach. Bringing them to a realization that I was in control of their whole fucking existence! My baptism of bondage, bruises, blood and pain shows them the light of my darkness. The scar I leave will never heal and the memories will last forever. Just like their first kiss or the first time they had sex. I take pride in my art. Yes, I may go to far and do some damage to their psyche, but it is the price I am willing for them to pay! And my mission will continue.

Are you willing to die or pay for what you do? Are you that committed? Well, I am! My life is my art and my art is my passion and lust! My Holy Trinity is PAIN, SUFFERING and BRUTALITY! There is no right or wrong, just being. And the modern harlots that dare to flaunt their sexuality so easy shall be made to live up to their actions in my church of agony. In the pit they will find their salvation in my den of damnation! You whores know who you are. Remember that when you are alone. You never know when a �God� will decide to shine down his wrath on you? And I AM GOD!!!!!!!!!

Ars longa, vita brevis

My Ex Dumped Me to Go Fight In Ukraine

I know there are a lot of bullshit posts on here regarding confessions - I think I'm just writing all of this to vent.
Back when Russia invaded the Ukraine, I was engaged to a beautiful woman named Nina. Nina was born in the Ukraine, but moved to the USA to go to nursing school after she got out of high school. She was taught English in high school and speaks it very well. I first met her through a mutual friend, and we hit it off. We dated for a good 4 years and were engaged for the last 2 years. We planned on getting married in May of 2022, but Russia decided to invade her homeland.
Looking back at my relationship with her, it was always such a perfect time. We never argued, we were sexually open about our needs, and boy she could satisfy every single need I had.
She was planning on getting of birth control in April so we could fuck to our hearts content on our honeymoon (which was going to be in Cancun Mexico). She wanted to start a family with me, get pregnant as soon as possible.
When Russia invaded, it all changed. She became distant, depressed, anxious. Eventually she sat me down to have a talk.
"I need to do something that will break your heart, and mine. I'm going back to Ukraine to fight and I know you'll want to come with me, but I need to do this on my own, for my people. I'm breaking off our engagement."
I was shocked, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I begged and pleaded with her.
"I do this because I love you, and I don't want you to die," she was stern, cold.
"I'm fucking going with you, I'd rather die next to you than be left here being depressed that my fiance is off fighting in a fucking war, no fucking way, I'm coming."
It was the first time she ever hit me, the slap was hard and my lip split open. Blood trickled down my chin. Tears welled up in her eyes and she got up and walked away.
I didn't have much to say to her when she was packing, I just was stunned that it was all over.
I sat on the couch, and she came and sat down next to me. She kissed me on the lips and we fucked. It was just so odd, like she wanted just one last fuck out of me - and I gave it to her. It was the most aggressive I've ever fucked her, or any woman. I grabbed her throat, slammed my cock in her tight pussy as her legs were wrapped around me. I slapped her, spit in her mouth, and she took every bit of the abuse.
I was so angry I flipped her over doggy style and jammed it in her ass, "since we're not having a kid I might as well just cum in your ass."
She moaned with each and every thrust, her little asshole was tight. I only usually teased it with the head of my cock, but this time I was thrusting all of my dick in her. It hurt her, I could tell.
I pulled her hair, bit her neck and came deep inside her asshole. I left bruises, I left my mark.
She collected herself, got dressed and left.
She texts me every so often. She says she misses me, says she loves me and hopes that I accept her back after the war. I told her I would.
Her occupation in the Ukrainian military is combat field nurse, and supervisor head nurse.
There was a gap when she didn't contact me for a good month, and I figured she probably met some other dude and was fucking him. But she sent me a picture of her wearing a leg brace.
"War is dangerous," was what she wrote me.
It turns out she got shot three times in the leg, it shattered her Tibia and Femur in 2 different places so they had to cut open her leg and get the shards of bone and screw the rest back together. I surely thought that she'd be opting out of the war, but what she said was pretty much that she's addicted to the adrenaline of war.
"You get used to the bodies and the smell eventually. It's like you're not puking every time you see brains and guts splattered all over. You're not puking when you smell burnt flesh after a while either. I guess it's at those times I think of you, when I feel all hope is lost, I think of you. But I also realized that I'm a killer now. I've killed people. I've taken life. Russia is sending idiots here, some are just boys right out of school, young fools. The first time I killed, I cried so hard, the second time I killed my heart raced like I just won the lottery, the third time I killed I smiled. I don't think I'll ever be that sweet girl you wanted to marry... I have nightmares, bad ones of me fucking you and slitting your throat - I wake up in cold sweats, screaming. I never want to hurt you. I love you. The best outcome is me dying here. -Nina"
Of course, I write her back - text her, and email her - sometimes she responds, sometimes she doesn't. She's been gone since April of 2022, fighting in this shitty war. I've asked her if she's met anyone that she's romantically interested in. She didn't respond for a while but then wrote back:
"I'm not fucking any men, if that's what you're asking. Usually I cheat on you with my fingers, but I have found a woman's touch is pretty satisfying too. Yes, I'm fuck buddies with this girl from a small village named Lubny, her husband was killed and we bonded. She cried on my shoulder many nights and eventually for some reason I kissed her and well, I guess I'm now a lesbian. Maybe her and I will fall in love and you can hate me more for hurting you and breaking your heart. I'm a mean bitch, right? I don't mean to hurt you, but I need to see this through. I need to keep fighting for my homeland, just like you would fight for yours."
Eventually I guess the girl she was fucking around with got injured really bad and was shipped to a hospital in Poland. The last message I got from her was, "I miss your dick. I can't stand healing from this leg injury I need to be back on the front lines."
And that was it. I haven't heard from her in about a month. I've checked to see if she was killed a few times but she's still alive, she's just ghosting me.
I keep reflecting back on how we used to be, how we used to fuck - how I'd help her shave her pussy when she'd get out of the shower. How I'd eat her pussy and lick her ass, and how she'd stroke my cock and finger my asshole. I miss her perky little tits bouncing in my face as she would ride me. I miss her perfect round ass and her petite body - then come to find out the fucked up part:
She was offered a modeling position for propaganda and she's doing that now. Anyway, I guess my confession in all of this is: I confess it's time to move on and find someone else. I do love her, I always will love her - but she's so caught up in the war, and it's her life now. Not only that but her coming back to the USA and marrying me... dealing with PTSD and all kinds of shit with her would probably kill our relationship anyway. She's changed as a person. The war seemingly has aged her 10 years. She's cold. I'm mad, sure. Anyway. That's that.
Well, not really. I met another woman who is sweet. I told her about Nina and she understands. This other woman wants to date me full time - we've fooled around. I guess my next move is to tell Nina I've met someone else and wish her luck... but of course that will really hurt for me to do. Nina has obviously moved on with her life, choosing war over me.

Just a good story bit of an essay
iA girlfriend from many years ago early 1990's I was 26 at the time, had a good well paid job, plenty of prospects, I stand 5' 8" around 75kg-80kg fairly fit, and I had a big brown mullet hair style average looking guy, I worn a Goaty beard, a real stud muffin (not) my name is Paul.
Now my girlfriend was 23. she worked as a Travel store manager/consultant in one of the top Holiday booking shops Lun Polly she stood5'1"- 5'2" around 45kg very petit figure, nice ass, big breasts shoulder length brown hair lovely big eyes come kiss me smile, she wasn't ashamed of her body she liked for the guy's to ogle her, I didn't complain about this as she was on my arm her name was Bea (Beatrice)
We had been dating for 6 months before we moved into a rented penthouse flat together, we had plenty of holidays on the cheap, she used to take up all the late cancellation, un-booked last min deals, plus the 2 holidays a year the company gave her free.
One night we was out with a group of mutual friends, for the night, meal, pubbing and clubbing, the group was all coupled up, We all met up in a very posh but not to expensive restaurant had a lovely 3 course meal a few bottles of nice wines, red and sparkling white, finished of with cocktails, during the meal, sara one of the girls brought up the topic of fantasies, was basic silly fantasies at first, as the wine and cocktails flowed it turned to sexual fantasies, nearly all the guys was very similar to have sex with 2 or more girls at once, one guy fantasized about him and his girlfriend at a nudist beach and both being touched up by other nudists, before making love to his girlfriend in the sea with people applauding them, bit of a strange one, 2 girls wanted to be with 2or more guys and made love to only 1 girl mentioned fantasizing about having DVP & DP with Anal came to me and I said I only wanted to have sex any hole with my girlfriend only, very lame I know but that wasn't my real fantasy, I just couldn't put it out there, now was Bea's turn, we all waited with bated breathe, I believe Bea was a little bit merry(drunk) she wasn't a big drinker got pissed after a few drinks, well Bea said, she held my hand and asked me not to worry as was only a fantasy, she began, this is a little naughty, but I dream fantasise about walking on my own a van pulling up besides her a nice young good looking guy leans out the window with a big road map and starts to ask for directions, as she is talking showing him, a couple of other guys sneak up behind her grab hold of her covering her mouth was a rag that had something on it that put her to sleep, when she came to, she was naked in the middle of 6 completely naked guys strangers and the all took advantage of her, in every way thinkable, before putting her back to sleep dressing her an taking her back to the place they took her from sitting her on a bench with in a bus stop, where she woke up.
Now my true fantasy was similar I wanted Bea to be gangbanged taken against her will while I was tied up and forced to watch.
The evening carried on we wet in and out 5-6 bars having a drink in all, we was all very much pissed, but was just about capable of acting normal, all of us made it into the night club, where we danced had a few more drinks one couple slopped off home after a couple of hours, another couple the ones who the guy fantasised about being watched having sex in the sea, they got kicked out for having sex in one of the ladies toilet cubicles the remainder of us finished the night got taxi's home, 1 couple came back to Bea and my penthouse flat and was staying the night, we had 2 double bedrooms both had king sized very comfortable beds in them.
all four of us got to talking, fantasies came up, Imagined there fantasies would come asked the other 3 if they ever happen come true, they all laughed said we wish, I got some light snacks and another bottle sparkling white wine, we all had a glassful, Bea got up put some music on and started to dance very sexy, the other girl also got up Sammi and was dancing with Bea and they began to undress each other, me Paul and the Guy Shauny, sat on the sofa eyes wide mouth's open in disbelief, bra's came off booth girls had nice ample big breasts, Bea's was nicer to me tiny puffy light coloured nipples, Sammi's was nice but big brownish coloured areola's very big pocky out nipples, Shauny joked with Sammi Be careful with them nipples you will have someone's eyes out. the girls was ow dancing apart Bea came and whispered in my ear these 2 have never seen each other naked before, and definitely never fucked. she kiss walked backwards wiggling her finger for me to join her, obviously this I did, as Bea & Sammi started to cuddle up close they was teasing Shauny the kissed and that kiss became a passionate French kiss tongues, i moved in to cuddle both girls from there sides, looking over at Shauny who had that Deer in the head lamps look on his face, Sammi put hand down Bea's knicker's Bea in turn was unzipping my flies and taking my cock out. I was kissing both, then we all pulled apart Bea told me to go get naked and sit back down, Sammi & Bea continued there dirty dancing they moved towards Shauny, in turn they both put there asses close to his face bending forwards slightly, Bea teased more as she put her pussy still covered by her knickers rite up to his nose then Sammi did the same she as she put her knicker covered pussy towards him pulled her knickers slightly to the side revealing part of her now swelling pussy lip, the girls danced very sexy slowly Bea lowered Sammi's knicker revealing her naked ass Sammi moved her legs to get her knickers to drop to the floor then she stepped out of then turned to Shauny and flicked her knickers with her foot in his face, her pussy looked gorgeous big swollen pussy lips, her inner lips dangling out, (I would love to have put my face on her pussy) she turned back dropped to her knee's in front of Bea and took her knicker's off with her teeth, Bea helped then drop to the floor as Sammi did by wiggling her legs, Sammi parted Bea's leg's and kissed her pussy and licked her clit, I was busy playing with myself, I was close to dropping my load, I nudge Shauny mate you best get naked there is 2 beautiful naked girls there, I remembered his fantasy, he couldn't take his eyes of the girls both naked ample big breasts, both completely shaven smooth pussies, he was transfixed wasn't hearing anything he just sat as if he had been hypnotised. Both Sammi & Bea pulled him up to his feet, he towered above both girls he was a good 6 footer plus, bit of a bean pole 85-90 kg's tops, he was on Bambi legs, the girls stripped him , then took him into one of the bedrooms, I was there to like a shot, all four of us was naked rolling about on the bed, Shauny dropped a bombshell even though he had a reputation of being ladies man, he began to cry kept saying sorry ??? Bea asked why the tears, he said he was so happy, he had always wanted Sammi to be his girlfriend he had fancied loved her since they first met when was 11 yrs old, he had watched her dated other guys, ok Bea said that's nice, as the girls climbed into a 69 position and started to eat each other's pussy. I sat hand on my cock gently stroking that's when Shauny revealed he was still a virgin he never been with any woman, he never seen one naked closed up same room. the girls stopped slid towards him and both touched his cock one sucked other cupped and jangled his balls, for a big 6 footer plus guy he wasn't very big long or thick, he had a 5-6 inch pencil cock, he was enjoying his self, his fantasy was definitely coming true in his very 1st love making experience, the girls got him kissing there breasts and then touching both there pussies, after lick both of them, they was showing where they liked being touched how to touch them, they did this by doing it to each other Shauny taking it all in, his fantasy was to have sex with 2 women make love to one as they had sex with each other, Sammi said to Shauny she had always fancied him to, but thought he wasn't interested many times she had asked him to go out with her to the pub & clubs bowling, cinema, but he always came out with excuses, he quickly replied I wanted to be with you but always knew you had a boyfriend, he didn't go as he would have gotten jealous. as he went back to burring his face in her pussy, when he came up for breathe, he then said he was only with the group as his brother and his girlfriend basically forced him to come along, but he was glad he did, as look where he is and who he is with,
Bea was franticly sucking his balls and cock, I had joined in and Sammi had sat on Shauny's face I was stood in front of Sammi and she was deep throating me, Sammi came on his face as he came on Bea's face, Bea carried on now deep throating him getting him hard again ,Sammi had got me rock hard, she commented that my cock was the biggest longest and thickest she had ever seen, she teased Bea saying I now see why you come in to work some times bandy legged, and sit on one of them rubber bum raising rings, chuckling I moved behind Bea, lifted her on to her knee's as she continued to suck on his pencil cock. Sammi in the mean time was still sat on his face slowly moving back and forwards so he could lick her pussy as well as her pussy, I positioned myself ready to enter Bea's soft tight and I mean tight moist pussy, first I ran the tip up and down her pussy slit, I would flick at her opening I also put the tip of my cock just in her tight ass bud entrance Bea would move down to pull away, so I would keep teasing her ass hole, then back to her pussy she tried to push back to get me up her pussy, I spent a long time doing this, Bea definitely orgasmed at least 3 times and as I entered her ramming my full length balls deep into her she let out a muffled gargling gasp and squirted all over me & the bed her legs was quivering going weak at the knee's
Sammi seeing Bea was having fun and had got Shauny hard again moved her out the way lowered her super swollen wet dangling lips pussy over his cock, she really slowly took him all in, she told him to put his hands on her breasts and tease her nipples, as she oved up and down she lent forwards so he could suck on her nipples, her pussy was filling with air every down ward movement there was a pussy fart and loud slurping sounds, she came over and over could see it running over his balls, Bea lend so she could lick Sammi on the upward stroke, after about 5 mins Shauny exploded deep inside Sammi, he gave her his full sack, it came flooding out of her, they collapsed together, now Bea rode me slowly enjoying my thickness and length inside her, Sammi, turned round and licked my cock and balls and Bea's pussy , Shauny moved off the bed sat in a soft chair by the side of the make up table, he was really happy, out the blue he said to make my fantasy real as I dream it , we all stopped Sammi said come on then fantasy you dream is what, well its nearly there, you 2 girls have eaten each other and deep throated Paul, but he needs to fuck you both while you eat each other swapping and he has to fuck both up your asses, then I wank over both your faces to finish,
That was it, all shit broke loose, Sammi said ok if you want to watch your girlfriend fucked in the pussy and up the ass, by another guy, if I do this for you, you better not walk away from me, you best keep dating me, and it will only be this once. at that Shauny 's face light up, I'm actually your boyfriend am I. Yes! Yes! Yes! I can't believe it I've always wanted this, I've always fancied you wanted you, why would I want to leave you, I've only just now got you ,Shauny had to ask Sammi, 3-4 times as he couldn't believe her word's, he jumped up flew over to Sammi and planted a kiss on her lips then they snogged, he was fingering her pussy all the time, Bea kind of, Huh hummed then, are we doing this or not, I'm drying up and Paul is going soft, soooo??? they broke from snogging Sammi said to Shauny do you really want me to do this, he went and sat back down, Yes, Yes please, it is my fantasy, and my girlfriend is the one bringing my fantasy to life.
He then like a director said laughing Action, silence please at this Bea was snogging Sammi she was fingering Sammi's ass putting fingers up her, I went under Sammi and was licking her pussy watching Bea fingering her as, Bea with her spare hand was wanking me, getting me up, then she climbed over me taking me back in her pussy, I was thrusting up into Bea's shaven tight moist pussy, as she moved her hips in time with me, I came up her pussy, we changed round Sammi on all fours ass in the air face between Bea's legs eating her pussy tongue darting in and out cleaning my cum from inside her pussy, I was behind Sammi I looked at that magnificent looking pussy swollen outer lips inner lips dangling out, can only be described as nicely trimmed ham slices tasted lovely I did jokingly motor boat her lips, I used 2 fingers to pull her hood back to reveal her clit, it was the tinniest clit ever, so cute, but was obviously very sensitive I put my tongue on it gentle licked and flicked , she moved away giving gentle moans I kept teasing her clit with in seconds she was having orgasms, her pussy wasn't as tight as Bea's I managed to work my fingers up her slowly I eased my whole hand inside her pussy wrist deep I kept hitting her G spot and she had many shuddering orgasms, followed my a torrent of a squirt, I then put my long thick cock in her pussy I fucked her hard slowly and deep every inward thrust she gave out a little squeal followed by a gasp as I hit her inner depths, I fucked her like this for a good 10 mins, them Shauny said swap Sammi moved forwards as I pulled Bea who was on her back to me, Sammi sat was over Bea's face Bea looked up said Paul have you seen Sammi's pussy you have gaped her and you have made her even more swollen both sets of lips are puffed up now and they are looking angry and sore, I think you was to big for her, I literally rammed my cock balls deep again no warning up Beas really tight pussy, Sammi was loving being eaten out by Bea, her tongue must have soothed her puffed up sore pussy lips,
I took a quick glance over at Shauny he was busy tugging away at his cock, looked as though he had shot his load a few times,
I Lifted Bea's legs in the air and Sammi span around facing me, I handed Sammi Bea's legs, she pulled them towards her, this kind of tightened Bea's already tight pussy, I watched Bea's pussy as I thrust in and out and her inner flesh was tight around my cock it was as if it was gripping me, same as Sammi, Bea took a gasp every time I thrust in a hit her deep I lost count of Bea's orgasms her legs was constantly shaking quivering, I got sprayed a few times , as I fucked her and rubbed her clit, she couldn't stop she lost all control of her pussy and kept squirting as well as coming over and over, I knew as I was coming close to my own orgasm to slow down almost stop, so I didn't cum. ( I was saving myself ready for when I got to fuck Sammi's ass) again Shauny said swap swap, was quite funny could tell just hoe excited he was getting, he looked at all of us said this is great, you ok Sammi my love, ( I thought it sounded a little sarcastic and patronising seen as less than a couple of hours ago he learnt was told by Sammi they was actually boyfriend and girlfriend) now he wanted to watch firstly me fuck Bea up her ass in same position with Sammi still holding her legs, but he wanted to see Sammi put Bea's hand in her pussy and fist fuck herself, Sammi looked shocked, you don't want a lot do you, this wasn't in your original fantasy was it, what else you going to add, Shauny said he would think of something else if she wanted more, Sammi just sighed myself and be didn't care as we loved sex and to be honest this was the very first time either of us had done anything remotely like this, obviously before we got together we slept with other people Bea had admitted when she was was at university in the states she joined a house and performed sexual things on the girls in the pledge house, and had taken 1 guy in her ass at a party as everyone else watched and egged him on, but she had only ever been with 2 other guys before me, since loosing her virginity at 14 to her Dads work and business partner and step brother. who plied her with drink and slipped something in her drink, then crept into her room whist everyone slept,
but that's another story for another time, that Bea can write about if she wants to share,
back to this story, Bea still on her back legs in the air pulled towards Sammi who was now taking Bea's first deep in her pussy, I entered Bea's ass I had to ease myself very gently slowly in even with lube my cock wouldn't just go in it had to be eased, as it was very thick and long, I haven't mentioned the size before, its between 8-10 inches long might Bea little longer, I get Bea to measure it one day, lets say its very impressive for a white guy, and I think it could be 3-4 inches in girth longer may well ne thicker, definitely no pencil dick.
as I get deeper Bea is moaning she puts her vacant hand down puts against my groin to stop me as I'm hurting stretching her as hole, as her legs are in the air and she is slightly rolled up its made her ass hole tighter, but slowly slowly I am all the way in, A hand appears and passes me some baby oil it was Shauny who was watching everything he had watched as I put my cock up Bea's ass and said it was great seeing the pain on Bea's face as I went in, but he didn't want her to see Bea unable to walk in the morning, I dripped the baby oil into Bea's ass as I began moving in and out the oil made it easier and more comfortable for Bea, as I built speed, Sammi took herself of Bea's fist, lowered her pussy back on to Bea's mouth she handed me Bea's legs back and lent forwards and started to lick her pussy as I was now pumping fast deep and hard into Bea's ass, at this point I noticed Shauny had moved out the chair and was directly behind Sammi, Neither Bea or Sammi was aware of this, Then Sammi lifted her head from licking Bea's pussy, gave a rather pained screech, as Shauny un- announced jammed his cock straight in her pussy, You fucking bastard Sammi hissed at Shauny, then she put her face back on to Bea's pussy, I was fucking Bea's ass hard probably gapping her, definitely giving her an extremely sore red raw ass hole, I had notice a few trickles of blood coming out of Bea's as so I've torn cut her inside or the the entrance rose bud. As Shauny was fucking Sammi's pussy, just like a little bunny rabbit, he gave out a Loud ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I guessed he had cum inside Sammi once again, he slipped out and moved back to the chair, he had some baby wipes and was cleaning his cock, Sammi sat up a little I could See Bea had opened her mouth and Sammi was pushing Shany's cum out her pussy letting it run on to Bea's tongue and in to Bea's mouth then she lowered herself rite on to Bea, Bea was now fishing the rest of his cum out her pussy with her tongue, there came that familiar voice time to change, this is the last bit of my dream Fantasy, said Shauny, the final ass fucking time, Your turn Sammi.
Sammi once again asked if Shauny really wanted her to do this, again there was a resounding Yes! Yes!,
Now was Sammi's turn to drop her bombshell, despite letting others think she was very experienced had had lots of men who had a had lots and lots of sex with her, and she had been to swapping parties and gangbangs as was gangbanged herself by a bunch of stranger's plus she had been Dogging one of her ex's had taken her to truck stop where there was a cubical in the gents toilet that had been turned into a Dogging hole, she lay back on a little mattress that was placed on a board waste height, and there was an arched hole cut in the door where the girl left her naked ass and pussy on show for any wanting guy to fuck either hole, the girl couldn't see who they was, and they couldn't see the girl except pussy and ass,
Turned out none of the stories was true, she just went along with things said as it was fun to see others reactions
I now she had to come clean, she had only had sex with one of her ex's and only on 4-5 occasions, as he was always out drinking with his mates, had lived at home with his parents and they never let him have girls sleep over, so she was basically a virgin, this made Shauny even more happy an excited,
Then she said she had never had Anal sex at all, Me and Bea was extremely shocked, especially after all the stories, and fact Sammi said she had done Anal before and enjoyed and loved it.
That was when Shauny pulled another bomb, that makes this even better part of my Dream Fantasy was to see both of the girl eat each other as a guy fucked them in the pussy then fucked both in the ass, perfect would have been one of the girls be a lesbian who had never experience sex with a man, so she was a pussy virgin and an ass virgin, so at least there is an ass virgin I can watch take it deep and hard. Shauny had a very sadistic devilish look come across his face,
Sammi looked at my cock took it in her hand, (it was now going soft) looked at M and Bea, and said to be does it hurt much, Bea said it does hurt at first but then pleasure takes over.
then Sammi still my cock in hand said to Shauny you heard Bea it hurts, So you really want me to take this monster in my ass ???
Bea was fed up she lay back and was fingering her pussy, she said once you 3 have finished playing games let me know, actually Sammi let my Paul's cock go, Paul come here we can carry on she led my cock to her mouth and asked me to put myself in to a 69 on top of her,
Shauny and Sammi was now in each others arms snogging away, Sammi said is that really your fantasy, Shauny said yes yes it was, I was listening as me and Bea ate each other.
You really want your new girlfriends ass torn up stretched busted fucked don't you. Shany just said yes I do and I would rather it be a good friend who I know I can trust not tell anyone.
With a few tears Sammi said ok, I am only doing this for you, she then lay back down besides me and Bea, Sammi asked Bea if she really wanted me to be the first to fuck her ass break her in, (I think Sammi was hoping Bea said she minded didn't really want me to do it) but Be said yeah its ok I love to see Paul fuck another girls ass, and why not be her work college, they could compare notes after, having a little giggle, Bea then told Sammi 1st time always hurts, not to badly, but as you get into it the guy begans to pump in and out the pain goes and pure pleasure takes over, she has had better orgasms being ass fucked.
Bea looked at me and said winking you will be gentle with Sammi's virgin ass wont you Paul, yeah of course I will go gentle easy on her
After some more licking deep throating from both girls my cock was full mast rock hard solid Shauny said for Sammi to kneel on all fours ass facing him as he wanted to see his girlfriends very 1st Anal entry, Bea slipped under Sammi, so she could eat her pussy and watch see me taking her ass virginity, I went behind Sammi and dripped a few drops at 1st of the baby oil in to her ass hole gentle rubbing it in slowly working a finger into her ass, dripping a little more oil and massaging in I put 2 fingers inside to open her up gently so she would open naturally soon with the help of the oil I had eased 3 fingers into her ass hole, her hole was beginning to open nice and wide, then Shauny took over, his fingers was longer and thicker than mine, Sammi winced every time he finger fucked her he was quite rough, I climbed up on the bed positioned myself just above her ass I had the tip of my cock pressing gently at her ass hole opening I was easing bit by bit nice and slowly the head of my cock , she was opening as the tip went deeper, soon I had a couple of inches in her ass, I moved in and out as not to hurt her to much, I went deeper as I down thrust 2-3 mins of going slowly I was all the way in she took all 8-10 inches 3-4 inch thick cock, I began to move in and out getting a nice rhythm Bea was underneath looking up she said it was a pretty site, a little blood had run out down Sammi's thighs, I pumped in and out stretching her once tight virgin as open. Shauny wanted Sammi on her back in exactly same position I had fucked Bea's ass in a while ago, Bea slid out I pulled out Sammi's ass, while still on her knees Shauny took a look OMFG Paul has torn you a new ass hole, I could see myself she was torn ripped a little very sore purple like it was bruised, Bea had a look, did I ever look that bad Paul ? she is really open you have done a good job of gapping her, look at the size of her hole, Sammi wanted to be shown in the dressing table mirror, when she seen the size of her hole and the colour of it she shouted at Shauny look at me look at me, you did this to me, Shauny just laughed said its not over yet, Paul has got to come deep in your ass, like he did Bea, Sammi with out saying another word lay flat on her back told me to lift her legs in the air, she called be over said put that cunt of yours on my face will you are holding my legs bending me lifting my ass up, your boyfriend Paul is going to fuck my ass, Bea put her pussy on to Sammi's face as asked I passed Bea Sammi's legs and then re-entered her ass, this time it went in without to much of a struggle, slowly does it I heard Sammi say from under Bea's pussy, I moved slowly building up a nice rhythm as before, Then Shauny put his head on the bed close to Sammi's ear he said something that Sammi didn't like to much, he got up came to me and basically told me to ruin his girlfriend Sammi's ass, he looked at Bea what do you think Bea should Paul give her ass a proper good fucking fast furious deep and hard, Bea just giggled you best ask Paul if he wants to do that, he asked me I told him it was best to ask Sammi as its her ass that's being fucked, Sammi do you want to really give me my Dream Fantasy, In a muffled voice as Sammi had Bea's pussy over her mouth, you know I do. so you agree Paul can fuck your ass hole fast furious deep and hard give you a good royal pounding, again a muffled I am only doing this for you, is that a yes then Shauny asked Sammi muffed said ok yes Paul just get it over fuck me as you feel fit, just hurry up and come,
I was still fucking her ass at a nice rhythm, I lent forwards and mine and Bea's lips met and we kissed, I said to be you are ok with this, you know I love you, I know she said I love you to. now give her your best ass pounding then come deep inside her, see if you can make her squirt like I do when you fuck my ass deep fast and hard.
Sammi darling Bea said, Paul is going to pound the fucking shit out of you, you know your ass will never be the same, my ass was sore for weeks after Paul had finished that's why I
had to sit on that blow up doughnut at work,
READY Shauny said, I gained speed I held Sammi's hips tight ass I began to pound her once tight ass hole, shauny was coaxing me on , Bea then lowered Sammi's legs on top my shoulders I shuffled Sammi up the bed , with her legs on my shoulder, I was able to pile driver really deep in to her ass, I was now really pounding the poor bitches ass, she was gasping every thrust Sammi was screaming and squealing I wasn't sure if it was from pain or real pleasure, but I wasn't about to stop and ask her. I could just about make out you are breaking my ass I can feel you are to big you are ripping my ass up, I feel it tearing me open.
Shaunt heard her saying these things more she said the harder he wanted me to go, at one point he was pushing my ass in. My beautiful girlfriend Bea stood by my side and we was kissing snogging she ran her fingers through my mullet hair, gently massaging my neck wiping my forehead as I was sweating loads, I could feel these pressure in my sack, I was loosing my fast furious rhythm I stiffened up and started to empty my sack deep inside Sammi's ass, OMFG, Sammi shouted out I can feel you pumping your seed inside me I can feel every throb every squirt, its so hot, as I began to pump again a few seconds later I came a second time, I pulled out while I was still coming I move quickly and as Sammi was about to say something I put my cock in her mouth and squirted again and again, choking and gagging on my cum, Sammi said stop stop you are killing me as the cum in her mouth ran out down her chin. she rolled on too her belly. Bea joined her laying on her belly to Bea kissed Sammi on her lips and said you enjoyed that ass pounding didn't you, Sammi smiled and snogged Bea pushing some of my cum in to her mouth, as they snogged I sat at the end of the bed calming down getting my breathe back, Shauny jumped up on the bed he was wanking himself furiously he let out a loud Yes Yes as he came over both girls backs, he had completed his Dream Fantasy, he thanked us all said he had the best night of his life 2 dreams came true in one night, he has the girl of his dreams as his girlfriend, and 3 of his best most trusted friend had made hid fantasy come true,
Bea cuddled me and we kissed, said lets go to bed Paul my Love she held my hand as we walked out that bedroom into our own, we quickly had a shower, washed each other, climb in to bed and cuddled up together, as well fell asleep,
we left Sammi and Shauny in the bedroom of fun, they obviously had more sex could hear them,
we awoke mid morning the next day Sammi was still in bed lay on her front, Bea asked where Shauny was Sammi said wasn't he in the front room watching sport, i shouted from the front room the sports is on but no Shauny anywhere,
Both girls was cursing him they was about to find and kill thought he had had his way and run out on Sammi,
Bea came to me said e is your fucking friend Paul you best find him get him back here with an explanation, Looking over Bea's shoulder i could see Shauny stood in the open front door, huh hum Shauny as Bea swivelled looking embarrassed red faced, Shauny said he nipped out got 4 McDonalds breakfast's with extra hash browns, and 4 latte coffee's, and he had stopped in at Tesco express picked up a selection of naughty but nice cakes,
he put them on the kitchen counter said once Sammi gets her ass out of bed we can tuck in,
Sammi got up got dressed she couldn't put her knickers on as she was to sore pussy and ass was still gaping open and definitely bruised sore, so she just had her knee length skirt on, as she walked in the front room she walked as if she had just gotten of a horse, she couldn't close her thighs as she was so sore, Bea went to our bedroom came back with her chair doughnut gave it to Sammi said you will be needing this fore few weeks by the look of you, we all laughed at poor Sammi.
later that evening Shauny took Sammi home,
From that night on, I kept thinking about Bea's Fantasy, should I try make it come true, could I make it happen, how would I plan it, did I need help, would Bea want it to come true, lots of questions I needed to solve in my mind,

To be continue,

This is a continuation of my ongoing experience playing Vampire the Masquerade LARP. The first part can be found here: http://mlos.pika777.eu.org/V1F573CA
Kevin texted me that he was running a few minutes late picking me up to go to the LARP. My heart was beating, I haven’t seen Megan in a month, I was craving her. I’ve been in constant contact with her, getting to know her in real life but since she’s married to an abusive alcoholic asshole cop we keep things on the down low and only communicate through email. She won’t see me outside the LARP in fear that her husband would hurt me, in which learning more about him I’d most likely turn up dead somewhere if he ever found out I was nailing his super-hot wife. I told my wife about the entire situation, she didn’t really like hearing about it all because she likes to keep things separate to keep jealousy at bay.
“You’ve got a bit of a crush on her don’t you?” She asked.
“Well you’re in love with your girlfriend, so I’m sure it’s a natural thing,” I told her.
“I know, I don’t mean to sound jealous it’s just that women don’t like sharing their men. Have fun tonight, I’ll be with my girlfriend we might watch a movie since she’s on the rag.”
I texted Kevin and told him not to bother picking me up that I would meet him at the warehouse (if I wasn’t too busy fucking Megan’s brains out). He replied, “don’t forget your teeth!”
I purchased a set of vampire teeth online that were pretty cool. They looked real, but were nothing like Megan’s hand crafted porcelain teeth.
I arrived at the warehouse where the game takes place, I was nervous as fuck. People remembered me and welcomed me back. A chunky pale white girl with a black corset walked by me and was spilling out of her top, areolas partially showing, she noticed me watching her tits jiggle as she walked and smirked. An African American woman had her arm around her oriental girlfriend, they kissed and laughed. The air was perfumed with candles of various scents, guys ogled at ladies of various sizes and shapes. Sex was in the air. In the distance grunts, moans and screams of passion were already underway and the game didn’t even start yet. A guy in a black trench coat was squeezing some large tits on a chubby woman as she giggled about it. Two BBW’s were licking each other’s tongues. The debauchery was real.
I had my character sheet, I was ready to play but I really wanted to see Megan. I walked around and people watched, the wine was flowing freely and the game was going to start soon. They’d have a briefing for sure about what the scenario would be tonight. A skinny flat chested waif with long legs strolled by me, she had long blond hair down to her ass, black eye shadow and black glossy lipstick. She was dressed to fuck, with a low cut black v-neck shirt and no bra you could easily see her nipples poking at the fabric. Her pants were made out of sheer material, completely see through. The only thing stopping anyone from seeing her pussy was the thong that covered it. Damn, 8 out of 10 I’d say.
I looked around for Megan, nervous that she wasn’t going to show even though every email we wrote to each other lead up to this reunion of our souls touching once more. I felt a hand grope my ass and squeeze. I turned around quickly to see her, a woman that seemingly had no flaws; Megan. Her painted dark red lips smiled as I leaned in to kiss them. My arms wrapped around her slim waist and I brought her close to me. Our tongues met in a furious passion, the pent up sexuality between us was unreal as if this was the only reason we showed up – and for me, it kind of was the reason. Sure, I could find some other woman to stick my cock inside but Megan touched my soul.
I pulled my tongue out of her mouth and looked into her cold blue eyes, “hello beautiful,” I murmured.
“Hi handsome, I missed you!” She hugged me, and I told her that I missed her in the most horrible way.
“Careful, it sounds like you’re falling in love,” she chuckled and smacked my ass.
“Maybe,” I admitted.
“We can ask the King to get the priest to marry us, which would be kind of fun. It’s a whole ceremony; I’ve seen people do it before.”
“Wait, vampires have priests?” I said with a disbelieving smile.
“Of course we do silly Brujah!”
We talked to the King and he asked us if we were sure about getting married and we both said yes. He stated that it did require blood from both of us, and I agreed to it still. The ceremony was pretty long and I don’t exactly remember everything that was said verbatim but I’ll convey what happened from what I remember of it.
There was a chalice on a fake alter, and a ‘dark priest’ that was the vampire priest who did the ritual.
“Today we are to join these two souls together in marriage, a union that will surpass our immortality here upon this earth!” The priest filled the wine goblet with sweet cheap dark red wine (sangria?)
A candle was placed upon the alter.
“Flesh to flesh, spirit to spirit, blood to blood I bind you both,” the priest put a needle in the flame of a candle and then proceeded to hold it in front of Megan.
“Do you take *my name* to be your husband, offer up your spirit, offer up your blood,” he handed her the needle and she poked her finger with it. She dripped a few droplets of blood into the chalice.
The priest handed me the chalice, “drink of her spirit, bind with her blood,” I took a sip of the wine.
“Do you take Megan to be your wife, offer up your spirit, offer up your blood,” he walked over to Megan, took the needle and put it into the candle flame for a few seconds and walked back to me. I took the needle and stabbed at my finger, yes it hurt! I let the blood drip into the chalice and Megan drank it. It felt a little uneasy at this point because this really seemed like some kind of magic ritual.
It’s almost like that panic a guy feels when he’s like, “holy fuck I’m actually getting married.”
The priest asked if anyone objected to our union, no one answered.
“When we touch, when we make love, we do not only embrace the body. We touch the spirit as well. The union of flesh is sacred and beautiful, but the union of souls is forever. Even if death separates you, this bond is forever! Nothing is more eternal than a vampire’s love.”
“May no earthly power destroy your union, may your sacrifice bind you spirit to spirit, flesh to flesh! Everyone bears witness to this rite! Your hearts know that you two are wed, Kiss and show us your passion!”
Our lips embraced, her tongue upon mine I was immediately erect. I felt her hand stroking my erection through my pants. I wanted to be inside her badly. I wanted to take her right there in front of everyone.
“Go forth in darkness and in light!” the priest concluded.
“Forever!” chimed the vampires gathered around us.
Megan looked in my eyes, I was wondering if she felt what I felt like maybe we just actually go married for real in some kind of dark ritual.
“Husband, I need your energy inside me, it’s time for the honeymoon!”
She grabbed my hand and led me off to her lair. She lit a candle and smiled at me.
“Don’t be nervous, hubby!” she laughed.
She started unbuttoning my pants as I kissed her lips, I cupped her tits in my hands and started to untie her corset. This time she didn’t have a miniskirt on but a long flowing black dress. I let her corset fall to the ground as her soft perfect milky white breasts were exposed before me. I pulled her dress off with ease, and she didn’t have any panties on. My fingers plunged inside of her already dripping wet warm pussy. She moaned and bit my neck with her sharp fangs. I gripped her petite body and could feel my nails piecing her flesh.
She pushed me back, “hold on,” and she reached in her mouth and took her fangs out. I did the same.
“I want to make love to you,” she whispered. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say.
“I don’t want to fuck you, I want to make love to you because… I think, no. I know I love you,” she said looking me dead in the eyes. I felt it. I felt it too. Holy shit.
My hands cupped her pale face as our eyes locked together, our souls were indeed touching, merging (hey, that is what it felt like). Her red lipstick was because of our kisses but her lips were still perfectly beautiful, her beautiful raven black bobbed hair glimmered in the candlelight. Her naked body was before me, my erection wasn’t driven by lusting for this woman it was driven by wanting to be one with her completely. For fucks sake, I was in love.
I paused, I wanted to tell her but I didn’t want her to think I was just saying it to say it because of what she expressed.
“I felt you pull at my soul the first time I met you, I want more of you, even in my emails to you I’ve expressed that I wanted you out of this game. I don’t want any harm to come to you because of me, because of your husband, I just want to love you and be in your life.”
A tear streamed down her face.
“I love you Megan.”
Her hand encircled my cock as she got on her knees. She began stroking me and put me inside her warm mouth. She swallowed me whole, deep down. I felt her tongue lick my balls and she worked her way back up my shaft. Her head bobbed up and down as I throbbed inside her mouth. I could feel the precum oozing from me, and she licked at it. I dropped to my knees and kissed her on the lips; I pulled her against me and felt her warm body upon mine. I gently laid her down, and began sucking on her beautiful tits. My tongue worked its way down to her navel, to her inner thigh. I gently pushed two fingers inside her, she gasped. My tongue lapped at her swollen clit as her body shivered in delight.
“Yesss..” she moaned, as I continued. My fingers gently massaged her, working in and out as I licked and sucked on her. It took a good 20 minutes until she was bucking wildly with an orgasm. Her juices flowed all over my hand as she came. She screamed my name loudly and I fingered her faster and faster until she couldn’t take anymore.
“HOLY SHIT STOP!” she giggled.
I stopped and kissed her lips, “you taste so sweet, and honestly how the hell do you take such good care of it? Most women have that fish odor and it doesn’t taste sweet at all. I don’t mean to get personal but I could go down on you for hours on end!”
Megan laughed, “I’ve been told that before and I think it’s just my body chemistry, I don’t douche if that is what you’re asking.”
“Oh, not at all,” I kissed her lips and turned her around so she was facing me doggie style.
“I can’t wait for you to fill me up,” she moaned as she felt my erect cock sliding inside her tight pussy.
“You’re so damn tight!” I began moving in and out of her as her ass started to synch with my thrusts. I felt her pussy tighten around my shaft and her wetness drip from my nuts. Who the hell was this woman that knew how to satisfy me like this? Her perfect white ass pumped up and down as I slammed into her from behind. My thumb massaged her anus as she moaned with pleasure, I wanted to lick that tight little asshole but I didn’t want to pull out of her, it felt too perfect. The harder I thrust into her, the louder she moaned. I felt her hand go between her legs and she fingered her clit.
“Fill me, cum with me,” she panted as I felt my nuts getting tighter and tighter, ready to release my seed inside her gloriously tight pussy.
“I’m going to cum Megan, I’m going to cum inside you my love,” I panted as I felt all of my nerves explode in ecstasy. Load after load sprayed deep inside her, jets of hot white cum exploded over and over as she bucked her ass up and down, milking my cock with her womanhood. I collapsed on top of her, I almost passed out. I seriously have never cum that hard. I moved to the side so I could cuddle with her instead of having my dead weight smothering her from behind. She buried her face in my chest, I felt her fingernails lightly caressing my chest.
“You’re a beautiful man,” she said, “you sure came a lot. It’s oozing out of me, I wish I could keep you all inside me.”
Now, I’ve had sex with women, strangers even. Usually when I guy is done busting his nut he just wants to rest, get up and leave, or have the woman leave. I didn’t want that at all. I wanted to lay there with her; I wanted to take it all in. I didn’t want it to end. I felt cum dripping from my cock, and she noticed it too. She put me inside her mouth, I could feel her tongue rolling around the head as she sucked up all the cum. I was hard again. At my age, this is quite a feat. She smiled and climbed on top of me, sliding my dick inside her cum filled pussy.
She started riding me as I watched her tits bounce up and down. She looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me, and that she never wanted it to end. I felt her pussy clench me as she slammed down and started bucking ferociously. She was cumming, AGAIN. I grabbed her waist and held her in place as I slammed my cock harder and harder inside her as she came. She screamed and collapsed on top of me, her perfect tits softly resting on my chest. I kissed her lips and felt her saliva drip into my mouth as she started moving up and down again. I grabbed one of her tits and started sucking on it. Her tits are so fucking soft and perfect!
“Cum in me, give me your energy, give me more of your seed,” she panted.
I did, I came again. I have never came twice during sex, not even in my sexual prime. Sure, I’ve masturbated and came multiple times, but not with a partner, not inside a pussy. The orgasm wasn’t as intense as the first, but I still dropped my load deep inside her. Her pussy was filled with me, there wasn’t any way there was a part of her vagina that was free of my sperm. I fell asleep with her on top of me. She fell asleep on my chest. We woke to a knock on the door.
“Are you both finished making vampire babies? We have to close it up!”
We both hurriedly got dressed. She didn’t have any underwear, and I was leaking down her leg.
“I hope you don’t get in trouble,” I told her as we both laughed about the seemingly endless stream of cum cascading down her leg.
“He’s on duty and I’ll take a bath when I get home, he won’t be home until 8 A.M.”
I looked at the time on my phone, it was 4:30 A.M. Usually everything is finished up by 4 A.M. Whoops.
“Can we meet outside of the game?” I asked Megan.
“Yes, but if we fuck up…” she reminded me.
“I know, we will just communicate through email. “
We cleaned up the room a bit and left. I kissed her good night, we expressed our love to each other.
“Good night, husband,” she said with a sly smile.
"I'm up for threesomes only with another woman, but your energy, your cum belongs inside of me and no other. Yes your 'other' wife too, but if you want a threesome with another woman I can do that with you too. I'm yours now, and you're mine." I kissed her again.
“Good night, wife,” I told her as I walked to my car.
I never did see Kevin the entire time I was there. I didn’t role play at all that night (except for the wedding).
I contacted Kevin a few days later and he said he showed up, did the orgy and had some drama with a girl who thought that he got her pregnant. I guess this chick Kelly who plays let Kevin cum in her and she isn’t on birth control. According to Kevin, Kelly is married and has two kids already so he’s freaked out that it is his kid. Kelly wants Kevin to pay for an abortion and is seemingly blackmailing him for the money by threatening to tell her husband about him. I told Kevin that Kelly is bluffing because she isn’t going to put her family at risk over fucking some guy at a LARP, so I told him to tell her to fuck off and deal with it. Hopefully the right advice, but Kevin is in panic mode and will most likely front the money for the procedure. My point to Kevin is this: Kevin is single, not attached – who really fucking cares if Kelly tells her husband about them fucking? Kelly spread her legs, she’s fucked other guys at the LARP too – so it could be anyone’s child including her husbands.
I’ve been in contact with Megan via email. We’re going out on a date when her husband is working the night shift. We will be out of his precinct and go to a suburb that is about 30 miles away from where we live. That way we won’t know anyone and can have a lot of fun. My wife does this with her girlfriend because she doesn’t want family members to know about her being bisexual.
I’ll still go to the LARP with Megan, it’s where we met and I want as much of her as possible. The chart that is from 1-10 on how pretty a woman is, Megan is off of that chart – she’s goddess status.
When I got home, I found my wife sleeping nakedly wrapped in her girlfriends embrace.

I am now a dirty old man:-Fuerteventura has lot of secluded beaches well suited to the dedicated wanker and pervert.
An evening on the beach in the hot sun with a like minded cock player there is no better way to spend your time. The smell of hot meat and cum all add to the lustful enjoyment of masturbation and the build up to a massive ejaculation. The methods used to keep the cock just below its point of no return are many and all enjoyable.
If you are lucky two or more of you can use each other’s cock to old-long it’s cum the secret is to tell your cocks user when it’s at the edge.
My present user is about my age and has similar tastes. For instance he likes to have his cock banded and beaten just as I do, I love the feeling of my banded rock hard cock being hit repeatedly with a flat piece of wood or riding crop and at the right time of year, nettles.
With a band at it’s base and another around each of it’s balls and It’s now engorged purple helmet dribbling old-cum with each new blow. The rush of cock lust in feeding the local insects just increased the desire to seek more pain to increase the pleasure. We would be facing each other with our cocks on a flattish surface like a rock or tree and would pause from time to time as our meat started to near their peak, both of us would be panting by now enjoying the rush of abandonment a rampant cock gives.
The flies that had been buzzing around attracted by the smell of old-cum and hot beaten cock flesh would start to land on our respective cocks eager to feast on the old-cum and the areas of blooded meat. As we watched we could see and feel the tiny feet and their proboscis helping themselves to the feast before them.
Soon our cocks would be covered with a mass of hungry flies all eager to eat and drink. By now we would be fighting the almost overwhelming desire to masturbate to completion, the flow of old-cum had increased further and now the bigger flies were arriving. Similar to a horse fly with the same eating habits, a proboscis they used to pierce the flesh in this case of the cock in order to suck blood.
Both cocks were slowly reaching the point of no return quivering each time it was stabbed with yet another proboscis, the flies could be seen flying from one cock and back again. Gradually the feasting visitors had filled up all the available space on the rampant helmet and shaft trying to force their heads into the gaping piss hole, and were now starting to enjoy the testicles which were by now coated by the abundance of old-cum flowing from the eye of each cock as it oozed past greedy flies and other strange animals. My eyes moved from my now totally controlling cock to the veiny inflamed member next to mine.
The pain of the blood sucking stabbing flies the arrival of the mosquitos and other biting insects further increased the need for more pain, more animals to feed And the desire to stay at the stage of uncontrollable lust served to bring the two engorged purple headed cocks to a heart stopping ejaculation. The eruption of cum blasting the insects clear of the pee holes as they pulsed again and again covering the opposite meat and surrounding rock with gobbets of cum and struggling insects drowning in it. My meat seemed to cum forever as it lay on in the sun on the warm rock next to it’s neighbour both oozing the final drops of red tinged cum. We stepped back on shaking knees looking down at our now softening meat covered with small incisions and mosquitos bites abrasions and bruises, surrounded by buzzing insects our cocks slowly pulsed as they attempted to hardened again awaiting more punishment.