A confession? Well I am truly not interested in any long cock or what pics and vids seem to show an owner of one being so dominate and degrading of their lover.

After seeing so many who have race hate, gender hate and just ego that makes me sad and become not interested, I feel the only chance of love is from someone small wishing to find someone who will love them for all they do and the love they give never ending.

That's fine with me. I have learned my body well with many toys and know if someone truly wishes to be guided and wants to pleasure me greatly then they can.

A finger is in truth what can make me orgasm just from anal alone.

Toys only 2 inches long used how a person could do will do the same.

Get me going with oral and a finger till near orgasm and just rubbing the outside of my anus for a bit will bring me to orgasm.

So size is not a thing needed as I have found, Just someone born to please.

Guiding is all I would do.

We can look at all the porn and ways things can be done even if they are huge.
They will know what we see even they can please me doing for me.

Say something happen and they have bad ED.
If what they fear most is not being able to make me happy then I will assure them truly they can.
We WILL find ways and nothing can make me leave someone so loving, loyal and giving to me.

Yes, By using toys I know how my body works.
The most girth I used was almost 6 inches around.
It was not anything that was soft or would give.
I was not to impressed with it hitting bottom.
I was always adjusting it so it never hit when going full stroke in and out.

I am not sure if some one long who truly was the being like I want could in time with no pain or issues to me or my safety in any way get my body to adjust to it taking the bend and going deeper.
Never had anything I used to see if it could.

It would be nice when they were giving anal all the ways I love and making me cum hands free first and often that they can be up against me. Balls deep I guess :)
Same way If I want to slowly ride them. I want to have my outer anal opening firm on their pubic area as I slow grind my p spot and fell them pushed into me with my weight.

So I only might be interested in long dicks if done with no pain and only when giving care, love and pleasure to me. I am not interested in so called "pain-al" as shown.
Tight and taking lots of time is fine. But not how porn shows it just shoved in and pain.

I took that 5inch around toy on my terms and very slow as my body adjusted to it over a long time against the opening.

If you can not wait, Then your too much into your pleasure and I do not think could ever be into mine or even shared.

If there were very sweet, shy, loving, caring, thoughtful, giving, pleasing, submissive leaning beings out there thick and long, hmmm, Not sure. But if they always put my feelings first and never dreams or wants to hurt me. I could try and see if they in time could get their pubic skin against my anus and in contact with me at all times, I just like the feel of the outer area touched and rubbed too.

They must truly love me and wants to be only mine, If they were too long then I would give up balls deep and the feel against me for what can be done.

See, I TRULY love the feeling of soft and slow rubbing of the skin from my balls to all around my anus. So yes I would be giving up something that truly gives pleasure to me that I would wish to be done. Not just that but the feel I can imagine from trying different toys of riding slow and grinding in a way while facing them that I can feel the shaft bending as I am grinding forward and then the head tracing the front of my anus as it pushes to my front as it goes deeper as I slowly grind down and their dick rubbing my p spot just before the end of the grind and their dick straight in me or a little to the back.
During that time the feel of their pubic skin against me and my anus, rubbing or just moving my skin from my balls to my anus and all around with the opening being stimulated by the shaft changing angles entering my anus.

Yes I know what feels wonderful to me and for real love would just take the anal pleasure alone and it not a joke from what you just finished reading.

I can only think of one way someone long enough might work all the time.
They are touching and holding me from behind a we stand. They rub and massage my areas behind the nipples between their fingers, After penetrating me a little and enough to stay in place as I am bent over, They guide their cock between my cheeks, Their cock pushing the front of my anus deeply. They have me standing, pulled against them feeling their chest all against my back as they hug and have after where their arms cross me, their hands slowly and lightly around my breasts, fingers with light pressure finding their way to my nipples to play with them and get behind them and massage the area to keep it not tight and drawn up when nipple get hard. As they please my breasts and nipples in ways I want they also slowly go deeper into my anus as my cheeks hold their shaft between them, the shaft bending in my anal opening and the rest in me to the tip pressing along the front of my anus behind me balls all to behind my dick till just before it would suddenly hit bottom and then slowly moving it back out as my cheeks pull the skin of their shaft to the tip of their cock as they are slowly pulling back. Then slowly back in hitting all the pleasure areas over and over including the press into my p spot just as it passes it a little.

We might look into a mirror sh he can read my body and I can see and read it and his. I wish what he sees turns him on more and he moves in more pleasing ways watching and reading my reactions.
When I start to orgasm and he sees me cum I want it to make him love giving me anal and I feel him holding me just a little tighter not knowing he is.

I want to see me cum hands free from giving and great anal for my pleasure.
It will make me want him not to stop.
I tell him to tell me what he feels in his dick.
He keeps it in and never pops out.
Knowing that its not over to me just because I cum, He makes sure what he does will not bend outside or pop him out.
I start to grip his shaft and make my anus tighter.
I let him know How him putting all my pleasure first makes me want anal more and I want him now to let me know how it feels to his dick as he is still making love to me. I want to know his feelings. I want to know if he loves it and how it makes him want to giving even more pleasure to me only thinking on my feelings and pleasure I have and doing all he can to bring me orgasms first and always.

I want to know if he feels like going faster but not to where he pops out.
I want to tell him he can.
I want to feel how he moves in me as he is getting closer and closer to cumming.
I want to know I do wish he truly loves the feelings I can give him.

Sometimes he may slow and tell me he wants to try and edge and learn how to last longer and hold on to that great feeling... To last longer so when he is pleasing me I can guide him when I am close and he slows or stops till I am ready to go some more.

I want to know when he needs so much to cum he needs me, he wants me, he wants to cum in me and keep going as long as he can.

I want to feel how all he does changes as he is hugging me and making love to me as I hold on to his shaft tight.

i want him to tell me when he is about to cum, how it is feeling, how my anus feels to him, if he love pleasing me. Then tells me he's cumming then does. He stays in going as long as he can.
He grips the base of his dick keeping it in me as his cum is absorbed.
I milk his dick with my anus.

Hell, who knows, I may have cum again too :)

He keeps it in me and holds me with the other arm.

Being long and holding the base he can keep it in and hard enough I can keep stimulating his dick with my anus and little movements.

With luck he will be hard again and we go again.

Sad that it seems only a woman can find them... :)

Now a woman can find very submissive men HUGE yet needs to be guided with all their life and they love to please and take care of who dominates them in every way even giving all they have for her to manage.

With all the types of guys out there and the many fetishes there is and some are just a little into a fetish and not extreme with it........

There should be VERY sweet guys being shy and afraid what ever their size that they may not be able to please but will never stop wanting to find every way they can lay their lover on a bed in a room they made so even a little mess can be cleaned with warm running water, They then with excitement start touching every inch while letting who they love know they want them to lay back and just enjoy the pleasure they are driven to give and seeing that pleasure truly loved only turns them on even more and makes them love pleasing even more and more often doing all only to please and never taking anything but the shared pleasure of what is being done. There are sites where true dominatrix females who a few even have advise sections in papers talk of the men who need to be guided in life and want to give everything to them to manage and guide them on what to do in all aspects of life. The men provide, greatly care for, get together and plan ways to please her together.
They will stop and swap so they never orgasm and they can keep pleasing her exactly how she tells them even if she wants to see them slowly take time and do the cleaning of her anus at all times being all she tells them to be and do and they do it with eager excitement loving and wanting to do it all.

One dream I confess to? I wish any gender could be found who needs to be all this for someone but keeps looking as the one thing they would ask a favor of is to trade the degrading, hurting and other normal things seen from dominating people exchanged for just showing some love to them.

That is something I am more than able to give who would love being submissive to me.

If they want love from me then they will have to truly love me.

They have to win my heart and soul with theirs being given.

I think the term pan-sexual is what I am.

Any being if they truly love me and wants and needs to be mine can with their real love and just loving to share time, things we do together and how they treat me, see me and need only me can with their deep love build mine for them.

There should be being like this for me as others not my gender can just say they are the type of dominatrix they are and they seem to come running to them.

Why is there not the type I dream for?

Why can I not find two or three all wanting to go to the edge and swap making me cum over and over as they try to last as long as they can.

I do not want sex with strangers.
I do not want just sex.
I want a shared life and all the things in it.
The sex is what is shared only between those who are mine only forever.
It is the bonding on deeper levels.
The warmth of real love in each other that is felt all the time even when not there.

Why there are no beings just holding on for real love so they can do all they can to show their love to that person who loves them.

If back in the day when the girls made all the guys who were short but willing to do anything to please if they would just love them...

If only they somehow were talking to me and being with me and how I am they fell in love... If they knew I could love anyone who loved me so deep they never wanted to part or be with anyone else, they wanted to be mine, wanted me to want them to be mine. I would have had a few who as far as we saw it were all married together and I would love each day as they went to work at different times and not the days I helped them with things they needed to be guided on, On the free days as they got home needing me so bad... I would love for them to sexually give me and them a bath, them play as they cleaned me and cleaned in me, We bond in that time and then they make love to me. As each one got home they joined in. When all were there they made my dreams of being loved by so many and they all wanted to please me so much over their own pleasure every day... Well... There will be times I want them to just take me for their pleasure... But they will find that out later after just being how they were born to love and please someone.

I hope they love the little secret I hold.
For the being who are mine only. Who provides and cares for me deeply, who loves and and protects me, Who always puts me first and loves for me to guide us in all we do and dream...

Only fully giving being never in their life expecting it or needing it... I will want at many times for them to let me pleasure them first.
If more than one with me forever, There will be days when they have not giving me anal yet that suddenly I just give them oral and when they cum I swallow and go on some more.
I will love 69 with them before anal.
I hope before knowing I am also so giving I hope they out of the blue want to give me oral and swallow and keep going or swap.
And on some days... After they have all kissed and excited every inch of me, I will look at them as say, "Now you have to swap and keep giving me anal nonstop and make me orgasm over and over, But that's 2nd to what I want you to do....
Now that I am so turned on.... Take me one at a time slow enough so when one can not keep it in and going they swap to another...
Edge to near cum and swap if they want to hold on to the feeling of almost having an orgasm.

Just keep it non stop and I will orgasm when I do... I want to grip you tight and love giving me anal and the feelings I want to give you for all you do and how you love me.

I am a giving lover. I want to give anal and they cum first, I want to have 69 before anal. I want to just feel like giving them pleasure and they not expect it and know I do it because I want to.
Someone who is like the porn I see will never get the love behind when I want to put who I loves feeling above mine and show them love as they do me.

The world as it seems now is just so hard for me to find my dream and I will not settle for any less than at least one being any gender putting me first and caring for me fully and always loving me and showing me they love me.

I never want the dynamics I see in porn of roles and who is alpha.
I just do not see an alpha ever making me feel alive and truly loved for me and not what we do.

I will never have sex for just sex or with random people or take risks catching something or catching something and giving it to another.

I can not do something that may harm another.

Wish the world could have been more like my dream.

I do not think I would care of size and just take them thick/thin/long/short in a world like I wish for.

I can hope I guess..

Well I have babbled enough while dreaming :)