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@random
03 Jul 2014 10:46PM
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Happy Thomas Cruise Mapother IV Day, everybody!


While all of those years of making pretend may have rendered him susceptibly crazy enough to buy into all that alien thetan anti-psychiatry garbage, the man can still channel that frenetic psychotic energy and craft it into some of the finest acting I have ever laid eyes upon.

His performance in Jack Reacher was simply masterful as he concealed his diminutive stature exceedingly well with many a forced perspective shot and was always quick with the rejoinder in his trademark Tom Cruise affectation. Jack Reacher will leave you stupefied as you saturate your pants with shit when the plot drops a brown bombshell of a conspiracy right on your plate, serving up a heaping helping of intrigue. Prepare for action-packed ass attack as Tom Cruise delivers a barrel of beatdown on the hapless mooks of an unscrupulous syndicate, with plenty of conspiracy to go around.


Edge of Tomorrow will disengage your socks as cocksure Army PR mouthpiece Major William Cage progresses from chickenshit to combat ready. Touring all the major news networks after a recent military victory over a seemingly insurmountable alien adversary, Cage suddenly finds himself unable to weasel his way out of the frontline of an all-out assault. An ROTC Cadet with a major in advertising, Cage has no combat experience, nor any interest in being anywhere near Europe when the fighting starts on the very next day. Demoted and railroaded into a war he wants no part of, the now Private Cage faces down his own mortality in a battle that will most certainly cost him his very life.

Go on and grab your favorite Tom Cruise flick and settle in with your honey in appreciation of one of today's best actors.

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@confessions
03 Mar 2011 8:33AM
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I'm a black drug dealer in the 'hood, and I've recently been promoted to top dog by the local drug cartel. I've a crew of ten homies who police the estate for me, and engage in minor trafficking and petty hooliganism. I need to gross 40k this month to keep my position, or the head honchos will demote me. It's difficult, because I've also got to juggle the interminable gang war with our local rivals, and well as supply crack for our crack whores.

It's a difficult job, but it's rewarding!

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@confessions
09 Apr 2012 3:15AM
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i confess im a keebler cookie elf and ever since they demoted me to fudgepacker.iv'e been going into the lunchroom and peeing rainbows into the coffee pot.

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