I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

Before I had time to react she was in my lap on the sofa with her breasts pressed against my chest and her head on my shoulder as she kissed my neck and cheek, squealing thank you the whole time.

After several minutes she jumped off my lap and headed to her room. Soon she returned with some very nice lingerie and a picture of the guy she called her boyfriend. I immediately recognized some of the lingerie as her mother's and knew immediately it wasn't exactly the kind of clothing a girl her age would normally wear. One of the pieces was a practically transparent camisole with a pair of matching lacy crotch less panties and a garter. Another was a beautiful silk set with a thong panty and top that barely covered the nipples of the person wearing it while doing nothing to cover the breasts themselves. There were four or five other pieces, most nearly as daring as the first two. And then she went back to her room one last time. As she returned down the hall she carried two bags of bows, one large and one small. With all of her paraphernalia gathered she sat back down on the sofa with the items between us.

"Ok, what's all this?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I had an idea where this was headed.

"Daddy, I want to give Jeremy something special for Christmas," she started out saying.

"Okay," I said.

"You mean you'll do it." She squealed out.

"Do what," I asked.

"Help me with his present," she stated.

I knew what she wanted, but I wasn't sure I was ready to help her, besides this could get us both in a lot of trouble if anyone ever found out about it. "What are you talking about," I asked as I looked into her eyes and then at the clothing stretched between us.

Daaddddy?"

"What..."

"You know what I mean, she said.

"No, I'm afraid I don't," I told her.

Se sat across from me with her head down for several minutes, looking at the clothes and then back at me. Finally she raised her head and looked at me, "Daddy, can you please take my picture so I can give one to Jeremy for Christmas? Please. If you won't I'll get someone else to help me."

"You really want him to have a picture of you naked or nearly naked to show his friends?"

"No Daddy, he promised he wouldn't do that. And I'll let you help me pick the picture I give him, I promise."

"Ok sweety I'll do it. But I need you to give me something in return."

"Anything Daddy!" She cooed softly, "What do you want?"

I looked at her square in the eye and said, "Tree Fiddy."

It was about that time she noticed I was about seven stories tall, and a crustacean from the paleolithic era.

She hopped off my lap and screamed, "Dammit, monster, you quit bugging us now. We work for our money in this house - we don't just give money away!"

So I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror, If anything I can say is that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Man forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel-Air!'