It has taken me a while to be able to admit this fetish I have, but my therapist told me I will feel more comfortable if I tell people on an online forum. So here it is. I love to smell my own farts. I even built my own contraption that consists of a plug and a pipe, and a mask so I can smell them better and inhale them.
I find the combination of draft beer and hot breaded chicken wings produce the best stench the following day.

I want my 40 yr old wife Rachael bread

Los Angeles downtown trying to get my Homie cross eyed clouded and come load bread by AS many bigge dick dudes AS I I can fire hit me up … near the old Midtowne slab..   

after all fucking hump day ! 

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

Anyone in Illinois, or know someone that is, needs to be bread. Let me know

So two morning ago I went over to Safeway to get some groceries. After I parked my golf cart and on the way to the front door, I passed the UPS store. There was this man going into UPS struggling with what looked like of stack of 8-10 boxes and packages. I opened the door for him, he went in thanking me, and I went on my way.

At Safeway, I bought some stuff (milk, eggs, cheese, raison bread, and so forth) and after checking out I decided to get a latte at Starbucks in the store. When I was on line to pay, the same man was suddenly appeared from behind, pulled out his credit card, and told the cashier that my order was on him. He got regular coffee and we sat to chat for about half an hour. He was really a sweet guy. He retired from the Marines after 20 years and then put 20 years in with the department of corrections. Like I said, he seemed like a sweet guy. A little while later, he was fucking me and filling me with cum.

The moral is, even if you are a mature gilf, showing some kindness goes a long long way, and I mean long. Feel free to comment and as Pat Benatar sung, hit me with your best shot.

pussy ass trick goat where im going slabs this. coagulate. credence law. just some bread and a jar

jtizzlef

I confess that I have thought about my mom sexually for a while. Sometimes I feel guilty after I blow my load and sometimes the opposite. I have fantasized about her catching me jerking off but never really had the guts to do it on purpose. In fact the other day I was sitting on the toilet (shes staying over at my one bedroom/bath apartment) and she accidentally walked in then apologized and closed the door. I was like fuck I should have been jacking off. So today I was doing the deed in my room after I got back from school and she was prepping some lunch. She calls my name so I put my hardon back in my boxers while im sitting down and let her bring the minitable with my lunch on it into my room. She asks me what I want to drink but I just told her I would get it, so after she leaves I get up and flip my boner up under my shirt to hide it (im sure you guys know what im talking about)and grab a drink and close my door.

She interrupted me before I could finish so I was like what the hell lemme bust one out really quick before I eat. So I'm just rubbing my hard dick at some cumshot videos and then she barges in to give me a piece of bread to eat with my meal. She didn't notice at first, but I was just standing questioning if I should hide myself or not. But I'm just horny as hell and in a daze so my hands are off my dick and it is just full on bursting out of my boxers. I said "mom.." and then she looked at me and then I saw her eyes get wide as she saw my raging boner then she said excuse me and shut the door while taking the bread back with her. I couldn't tell if she was surprised or aroused. I walked out after I finished eating and thanked her for the meal and she acted like nothing happened and said that her and my sister are gonna go to the movies for a bit which I think she is trying to give me jacking off space. Anyway this is my first confession, let me know if anyone has had similar experiences.

I confess my knowledge of weed is sub par. I mean, I know jack shit. Really. I've been pretty lucky in that I've only had to buy it myself three times in my whole life. I've got an awfully lovely group of...male friends who don't mind sharing with (usually) nothing in return. They're the best.

Unfortunately, that leaves me not knowing shit. For example: I purchased a bit back in mid-June. I've smoked about half of what I bought between then and now.

I'm planning on making some banana bread this week, and it occurred to me that this would be delicious with a little extra green in it.

I'm wondering, though, does weed get stale? It's been a sealed ziploc bag inside a closed container for all but a few minutes while packing bowls.

If it does goes stale, is it likely that it's bad by now? How can I tell?

Teach me, please.

I confess I am extremely jealous of guys who have had the chance to fuck their mums and/or their sisters.
Especially the ones that have been able to bread them.

You bastards are living my dream.....