Chapter 9
The guards have come to the realization that you enjoy most of the abuse they've been heaping on you. That led them to start searching out more and more depraved ways to torture and use you, in hope of finding your breaking point.
One of them stumbled across the work of Dolcett on the internet and wondered if they could do it to you.
As much as the idea of impaling you on a spit and roasting you alive sounded like fun they decided they have to keep you alive. Too much paperwork if you die. And besides they're having far too much fun torturing you to have it end so soon.
Instead, they decide that they are going to impale you in the spit and roast you but only for half an hour.
There's a company picnic coming up for the 4th of July so it's the perfect time to barbecue you.
The picnic is being held in a clearing in the woods. It's warm and sunny and all the guards are relaxed, drinking, and happy. It would be a wholesome scene except for the naked sissy slut bound to the trees at the edge of the clearing. Standing, spread eagled, wrists and ankles tied to two trees.
The fire pit has been lit. They're just waiting for the fire to burn down and the coals to get hot.
While you're waiting to be "cooked" the warm summer breezes caress your naked, slutty, thicc body. Your nipples have grown hard, and your pathetic little cock is starting to stir too.
As the fire starts to die down your untied and led to the picnic table and told to climb up onto it. On your hands and knees, ass in the air, they start to prepare you for roasting.
Your hair is soaked and tied up. Herbs and onions are shoved into your boipussy. For flavour. An apple is pushed into your mouth. Not so much for flavour but only to make you look a like a roasting piglet.
They make you lay flat on the table and a large, round, stake is laid the length of your body. Ropes soon secure you to it. A wooden Frame is laid across your shoulders and you're soon bound to it as well. Lastly, a thick, long wooden stake is pushed deep into your gaping cunt and attached to the spit.
The entire time they're preparing you the guards talk about you in the 3rd person. They refer to you as "her" sometimes, but usually, "it".
Two burly guards grab each end of the spit and hoist you off the table. It's uncomfortable, but not quite painful. More than anything it's humiliating. You're a piece of meat, yet again, for their amusement. This time quite literally.
The heat hits you immediately when they put the spit in its rack. A small motor is going to rotate you over the fire, just like a fucking animal to be consumed.
It doesn't take long for the heat to start making you dizzy and light headed. It's also turning you on.
The heat licking at your useless cock with each rotation. The guards laughing at you and enjoying the spectacle.
After a few minutes they break out the barbecue sauce and start pouring it all over your limp body. Covering you, head to toe in sticky sweet sauce. A bottle gets shoved up your ass and the sauce pours in to mix with the other ingredients already inside you.
You've lost track of time. You're hoping you don't have to endure too much more. You can feel your cock and balls starting to singe. Your tits are glowing hot. The pain is becoming almost too much to take. Your screams and pleading are muffled by the apple in your mouth. Not that any of them would take pity and offer you relief.
The last thing you remember hearing, before you passed out, is one of them saying "Three more minutes and then we'll take the meat off the fire."
You're awakened by a bucket of cold water being thrown on you. Every inch of your body feels like it's been sunburnt. To make matters worse you're covered in sticky sweet barbecue sauce.
The guards want to get you cleaned up a little before the next stage of the festivities bit there's no hose to spray you down with. Then a brilliant idea emerges.
You're tossed on the ground, still tied to the spit, and the four dogs that have been hanging around are called over. They quickly begin licking the sticky sweet sauce off of you. Their rough tongues dragging across your burnt body is agonizing. Because you're a sick fuck, you like it. You start to moan and wiggle around to give the dogs access to more of you. Especially your pathetic little cock.
A couple of the guards notice what you're doing and start to laugh. They point out to everyone that you're fucking enjoying it. Everyone agrees that you're the most depraved, filthy, amoral, piece of fuck meat they've ever seen. They're excited about it. It means they can do anything to you. No matter how depraved, degrading, disgusting, violent, or taboo.
While they are chatting about what to do next, one of the dogs lifts his leg and starts pissing on you. The hot stream feels scalding on your burnt skin. It splashes across your stomach and chest. Some of it gets up around your neck and you open your mouth, hoping to be able to drink some of it to relieve your incredible thirst.
Everyone has gone silent, watching in amazement. When the second dog starts pissing on your chest you wiggle around to take it in the face. The hot dog piss in your mouth giving you relief from the thirst and a fantastic thrill at being able to be so fucking filthy. It's at that moment that the last 2 dogs start pissing all over your hard, but pathetic, cock. Your moans of pleasure leave the guards, and their wives, laughing and cheering.
Because it's the 4th of July the guards have brought along a bunch of flags, firecrackers and decorations to celebrate the day.
The dogs have licked you clean and lost interest in pissing on you so everyone is looking for a new amusement.
It's time to do some decorating.
You're untied from the spit and another bucket of ice cold water is thrown on your limp body. As you lay there, dazed, aroused, humiliated, you wonder what fucked up thing they could possibly have in mind.
A kick to the ribs gets you on your back. A couple more kicks and you're spread eagle in the grass.
One of the wives has brought a bunch of small flags. The paper ones with a wooden stick. She wants to shove them in your piss hole. The only problem is you've gone limp. It would be much easier if your clit was hard. It only takes her a moment to figure out how to get you hard again. She drops her panties, lifts her dress, squats over your face and starts to piss. It works like a charm. You can't help yourself. You open your slut mouth and drink it all down as quickly as you can. The shame and humiliation does what it was intended to do. Your useless cock is nice and hard again.
With her cunt still firmly pressed to your face she begins sliding the stick of the flag down into your cock. You're so embarrassed and ashamed at how much you're loving this treatment.
She manages to push two more flags into your pisshole. As she hops off your face she tells you to get the fuck up. You're exhausted and hesitant. A quick kick in the head and a slap across the face gets your moving. Your struggle to your feet.
She instructs you to show everyone how patriotic you are and to start waving the flags. Your efforts aren't even close to what she wants and she kicks you in the ass, over and over, making you stumble around, and making your faggot clit wiggle. The laughter from the crowd is so fucking humiliating and you wonder what the fuck is wrong with you that you love it.
That's when someone suggests that they should tun you into a proper flag pole.
Chapter 10

Having grown tired of watching your futile attempts to wave the little flags jammed in your pisshole the wives have decided to turn you into a “proper” flag pole.

A shovel is tossed at your feet and you’re ordered to start digging. They want a hole two feet deep and 3 feet wide. And you had better hurry the fuck up. Your efforts are decent to being but because of all the abuse you’ve endured so far today you start to tire and slow down. A crack of the whip then the sting as it bites into your ass. You dig faster. Another crack and another stripe across your sissy ass. You don’t speed up digging but your clit starts to involuntarily grow. This prompts laughter and ridicule from the guards, and particularly, the women. They can’t believe just how much of a pathetic, pain and abuse craving, sissy slut you really are.

Before too long the hole is complete. She shoves you to your knees at the edge of the hole, facing it. Turning to one of the other wives she says, “Jenn, bring the big flag and pole over here. We’re going to do this up right. Real patriotic.” She shoves you forward, so that you fall into the hole. Because of the size of the hole only your upper body fits. Your ass is in the air, sticking straight up. Completely gaping and exposed.

As she hands over the flagpole Jenn says, “I don’t think it’s going to fit. It’s way to big.” It’s not going to matter if it’s too big or not. One way or another it’s going in your cunt. Lubed, dry. No one cares.

The fat, wooden, flag pole is pushed up against the entrance to your cunt and pressure is slowly applied. It’s starting to work its way in. You do your best to relax and push out, to get the pole in your cunt without too much pain and tearing. It helps, but there is still so much of the huge pole to go.

She starts to lose patience with the progress and starts shoving harder and harder. Your cries for her to please stop are, obviously, ignored and you’re told to shut the fuck up and take it. You’re reminded that you’re only there to entertain them. Your pain doesn’t matter. Besides, she says, your hard clit says you’re enjoying it. She makes you admit you like it. You have to yell, loudly, for everyone to hear, that you like having the flag pole shoved up your ass.

Jenn starts to help. Between the two of them they’re able to force the pole deep into your cunt. Judging by how full you feel, you think there’s about two feet of hard wood up inside you. You’re ashamed of yourself for being proud of how much you can take.

Once it’s firmly in place a flag is attached to pole. It gently unfurls in the breeze. The wind playing with the cloth makes the pole move around in your cunt, pushing it from side to side. It feels like the wind is fucking you.

Your told that you cannot let the flag fall. It’s disrespectful. If it falls you’ll be beaten unconscious.
The group goes back to drinking, snacking and playing games, leaving you there. An object to amuse them.
After about half an hour you notice the dogs are sniffing around you, curious as to why you’re there. Realizing you’re not moving much they conclude you’re not a person and start pissing on you, like they would any tree, bush or shrub. At first they piss on your ass, because the flag pole is a natural place for them to piss. Eventually though they piss on your shoulders, back and face. Because you’re in the hole it’s really convenient for them to piss all over you.
Everyone sees it happening but there’s no way they’re going to stop it. It’s way too funny. Hell, not only are they not going to stop it, they’re going to join in. For the next hour you endure an almost non-stop rain of piss. All over your back and ass, all over the back of your head. In your face. So much in your face. Each time someone pisses in your face you open your mouth and drink in as much as you’re able. You try to be subtle about it so they don’t see you drinking it but eventually you’re caught. It’s decided that if you’re going to do that you might was well be a urinal for them for the rest of the evening. From that point on all of the piss, and theres so much because of all the beer drinking, is aimed at your mouth.
The sun is starting to fade from the sky. The coming darkness signals the next stage of the days festivities. The fireworks display is going to be amazing this year!

Imagine as I walk up to you slowly, gazing at you seductively, I slowly lean in to give you a warm wet passionate kiss ever so slowly but before there is a kiss I pause at your lips.. you can feel the warmth of my lips fade away as I slowly move my attention to your neck, kissing it and licking it then sucking on your ear lobe. I kiss down your neck to your shoulder where I playfully bite you while slipping my hands into your shirt lightly caressing your body. I growl viciously and press you against the wall pinning your arms against the wall, walking slowly and carefully down your chest with my fingers down down down to your crotch I slowly unbutton your pants, and unzip them while gazing into your eyes passionately. I slip my hands into the sides of your underwear and slide them gently to your rear where I grab both cheeks firmly....

--- your turn.. ;)

For the past week and a half I've been having very sexual dreams about my ex stepdad. I woke up from one this morning and it's been all I can think about. You know how when you wake up from a dream and it's all fresh you can still remembers details and feelings and then it starts to fade? I've been going over and over what I remember because i don't want to forget it. Something about the way it made me feel. I haven't been this turned on for awhile. It's that sensation that no matter what I do or try to think about, I can feel my pussy more than any other part of my body, my clit throbbing, and my panties getting wetter and wetter. I'm finally about to give in and make myself cum, thinking about him of course, but I wanted to write it all out before I get off and move on and forget this intense feeling.

What I remember from last night's dream was being in a room, my bedroom from when I was younger, and on my laptop. My stepdad came into my room, naked, and told me he needed to use the computer. When I saw him it felt natural, like there was no shock of seeing him without clothes and in my dream I didn't react but I also remember being very aware that I could see his dick and that felt unusual. (I know this hardly makes sense but dreams are always hard to interpret into words for me, as a lot of what happens in them for me is mental). I was sitting at desk right next to my bed and he came over and stood by me for a second, his dick was not just out it was halfway hard. You know, not standing up straight but kinda plump and straighter than normal. In my dream I noticed this and knew what it meant and was fascinated by it and instantly started talking to him differently.

I was asking him to let me finish what I was doing and I remember saying "please" and knowing it was suggestive considering how close my lips were to his cock as I slightly pouted after. I told him if he would just let me finish I would let him do anything he wanted for the rest of the night. And then as I told him that he smiled and came over to sit on the bed next to me. And then I remember actually going back to what I was doing online and him watching me, us talking but nothing specific. At some point here my little brother came walking into the room, also naked, and then it was instantly weird for me. I kinda jokingly half mad yelled at them that they had no boundaries and needed to start wearing clothes around me more and they laughed I think and my brother left the room. So it was weird to me that my brothers nudity bothered me so much, like I looked away and yelled at him, but my stepdads naked dick instantly turned me on.

The other weird thing is that I totally remember how his cock looked in my dream, and it fits well with what I remember of him when I was younger. I've caught glimpses of him in the past, peeing with the bathroom door cracked, or going through the hall late at night. Never anything too strange from what I remember but just a few occasions of walking into a room I shouldn't, or seeing him passing through the hall late at night. (All things I felt were normal for families in small apartments). But it's weird because even before this dream if someone mentions him or I think of him, I've always had a vivid memory of his dick and what it looked like. And it matched up well with the dream, other than in the dream it was definitely hard and getting harder and I was getting a close up view of it.

Unfortunately, I don't remember much else. I know we were talking while I was on the computer and that I was aware we were being somewhat flirtatious even though in the dream I was too young to really know what that was.

And now, I've spent the whole lay lusting over those memories and thoughts of it going further. It isn't physically possibly because he isn't a part of my life anymore, and I don't remember lusting after him when I was younger, though I have always been more sexual than most people I know and tend to have a dirty mind. I started master bating at what to me would be a young age and did it nightly from that point on. Other things like that that are a little more sexual than you should be at that age, but I don't remember ever thinking if him that way consciously.

I know I had another dream about him 2-3 nights ago, and even woke up to tell my fb that I had a great dream (no more details than that) and ended up getting on top of him... After that I didn't think of it again until this morning, when I can't get it out of my mind.

When I was 22, I was still living at my dad's place when he started seeing someone seriously enough for her to move in with us. He literally dropped it on me last minute, but it was still his house I was living in and I didn't care as long as he was happy. Only problem was we were living in a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom duplex, and his new woman was bringing her then 19yo daughter with her. I do remember being mad at first, because we were going to be sharing a bedroom AND bathroom. Any anger I had drifted away once we met. She was slim and petite, only about 5'4", but somehow was rocking the most beautiful C-cups you could imagine.

Now, I was certainly sexually attracted to her, but also a realist. The whole stepbro/stepsis thing is all the rage in porn these days, but that kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life, I thought. She was flirty with me from the beginning, but I always laughed it off cause I didn't want to get the wrong idea and then forever be the creepy stepbrother. They were only living with us for like a week before she would be in our room with me alone and in nothing but a towel or her bra and panties, after taking a shower. I was lucky enough to have had different relations with different ladies by this time in my life, but she really had me blushing and acting shy just because I wasn't 100% sure how to react.

One night, she had a pretty attractive friend staying the night and we were drinking a little bit, so the conversation turns sexual, as you do. I should be ashamed, but I lied to them about how sexually experienced I was so her friend starts daring her to flash me and before I know it, they are both topless telling me to show them how I'd rub a girls tits. I was a boobs guy 100% then and her friend was that girl who had double D's since 6th grade, so I'm just sitting there, one handful of the friends boob and the other handful of my stepsisters boob, going, "Is this good? Should I pinch the nipples?" xD

So I'm instantly rock hard and trying to hide it, but they want me to show it to them. And I'm telling them no because dicks aren't pretty like pussies are. So they get to whispering back and forth and giggling and then my stepsister says that if I show them, her friend will give me a handjob. I'm still feeling like a shy virgin at this point because of their forwardness, but I pull it out and they giggle and whisper more until the friend gets up and tells me to come into the bathroom with her. She's still topless with just her shorts on and she doesn't waste any time once we get in the bathroom. She gets down on her knees and starts jerking my cock. We were only in there for like half a minute before there is a quick tap on the door while it immediately opens up and in comes my stepsister, who is also still topless, and in a sexy little voice she says, "I wanna watchhhhh."

I'm not saying no since my pants are already off and dick out, so my stepsister sits down on the toilet while I'm standing there RIGHT in front of her getting jerked off by her friend. At this point, I'm grabbing and rubbing on both of their tits, and they are talking about how wet their pussies are and it's just getting hotter and hotter. I hadn't been sexually active at that time for about 3 or 4 months so I had already been close to the edge since the start of that night. As soon as my stepsister came in and sat down, I said out loud, "I am going to cum so fucking hard." My stepsister hadn't touched me up until this point, but she starts playing with my balls right after I said how hard I was going to cum, and let me tell you, this was one of those orgasms that build and build and build until I was literally trembling up until I came. It was the most cum I'd ever seen come out of me, ever. I covered both her tits and it was just pouring down off her nipples, down her stomach, onto her shorts and all over the floor. They both kept saying, "omg. omg. omg."

All I remember saying is, "I have never came that hard." over and over again. I was still in the post nut daze, but my stepsister grabs my hand and shoves it down her shorts saying, "Feel how wet I am!" and she is indeed soaking wet. I get kicked out of the bathroom after this while they shower together and "girl talk". At this point, my shyness had faded and I'm wanting to get in the shower with them, but no dice xD. We had been alone in the house the whole time, but my stepsisters mom was off work a little after all of this happened, so we are all in the living room watching movies later that night and I'm just trying to act like I didn't just get jerked off by my stepsister and her friend haha.

Anyway, post is already too long, and it probably reads like I made it all up lol. I have a bunch more similar experiences that I might write up and post here too. Just wanted to share because even good friends I had at the time didn't believe me until I showed them the video proof haha. (Attached pic is my stepsister standing in the same bathroom they jacked me off in.)

I live in a suburban neighborhood and was waiting for the bus at night when I noticed a girl in the bus stop across the street. Then I noticed it was a crossdresser. She looked skinny and had a shopping bag in her elbow. I walked towards her and we started chatting. She had a cheap blonde wigg, horrible mime-looking makeup, and was missing several teeth. She was using a jean skirt and long stockings, and even with all this I asked for her number and she gave it to me. I kissed her cheek and went back to waiting the bus. A few minutes after looking at her I felt my cock growing in my pants, I wanted to fuck her right there in the dark. I went to her again and asked for a handjob while we waited the bus. She told me she didn't know where to, and I suggested that any dark place near the railtracks was fine.
- Wait for me, I'll look for a place.- She said.
She went into one of the streets and faded while I waited and waited in what seemed like twenty minutes (but was obviously less). Right when I thought she wouldn't be back, I saw her coming quickly towards me. She told me that there was a vacant lot nearby, and suggested that we went that way.
Right at that moment I felt a little bit scared. I didn't know what she carried in her bag, and maybe she had called other people that could hurt or mug me. I was about to say no, but I don't know why I thought (FUCK IT) and we went there. We walked three blocks and entered the vacant lot that was really dirty and somewhat far of the entry there was a little construction. I thought to myself (THIS IS IT, BAD IDEA BAD IDEA) and continued walking. We entered the minuscule building (it had no doors) And we started making out. She then looked at me oddly and reached for her bag.
- What are you looking for? - I asked.
She said nothing and reach at the bottom of the bag, pulling out a box of condoms. (THANK GOD, i thought) We kept rubbing against each other and then she started jacking me off. Then she went to her knees and sucked my cock, deepthroating my seven inches. I asked for her ass, but she wouldn't let me. she started sucking my balls, and then she asked to lick my ass. I said yes, even if I wasn't just bathed. I asked to fuck her ass again, and she asked to fuck mine. I thought to myself (FUCK IT) and said to her: FUCK IT. She started fucking my tight asshole with a small but energetic dick, and really soon I turned around, and went all the way up her ass. I fucked her hard until she couldn't take my cock anymore, and started sucking my dick again. I could have kept without cumming but I knew that the bus was coming and that her ass wasn't available anymore, so i came in the condom while she sucked the tip of my dick and jacked me off. We exchanged a few words, I kissed her in the mouth, and went to the bus stop while she went the other way. Half a cigarette afterwards, the bus that my friends were in came and I went to a party, while chatting nonsense with my female friend and two aquaintances of her, taking this story to my grave.

This confession involves the sometimes awkward experiences and relationship I have with my younger brother, especially since he moved into the guest room at my house this year. I've never told anyone because it's both embarrassing and confusing to me, but the thought of sharing my story and hopefully getting some responses from readers is a release and a rush that
I'm a 27 year old teacher, and my 22 year old younger brother moved into my guest room upstairs about 4 months ago. Most people would consider him a bit nerdy and shy, but to me he's my adorable, immature, soft-spoken little bro who is so sweet and kindhearted. He's never had a real girlfriend, and might even still be a virgin. I've always known he deserves a special girl who he'd make so happy, but his shyness hasn't helped his chances of meeting her quite yet. Now that you have some background details, here's some experiences I've had since my little bro moved in upstairs.
A few months ago, I had just taken a shower and took a naked walk to the laundry room to get a fresh towel. I thought I was home alone since my brother had left for work a couple hours earlier, but my brother was sitting right there on the couch speechless and blushing when I turned the corner. We both froze in unison for an awkwardly long instant, eyes darting and hearts racing. After I finally reacted by fleeing to my bedroom, for some reason I felt more exhilarated than embarrassed. I couldn't make sense of the rush I felt in that moment. I couldn't shake off the thought that I was glad he saw me naked....my innocent little dorky brother who I'd never even had a fleeting sexual urge towards, now had seen my boobs, my pussy, my bare ass as I ran down the hallway.
Things were a little awkward at home for a couple days afterward, but the tension faded fast. After about a week, I found myself getting impulses that I can't explain to let him get more "accidental" sneak peeks in subtle everyday situations around the house. A few times I've left my bedroom door wide open when getting dressed. I'd act like I didn't see him when he'd occasionally walk by, but I could tell that my "oblivious" act was working when I caught his eyes stealing glances at me. He hasn't realized that my bedroom mirror allows me the perfect angle to watch his reactions. I'd be busy slipping into a thong or standing at my dresser topless pretending to debate which bra to wear.
I've done a couple other creative teases. A few days ago, he asked me if i could help him with his college homework assignment. I told him he could use my new laptop to write his research paper. I went in my room and grabbed my laptop and discretely moved a some nude photos I'd taken of myself for my ex-boyfriend into a new desktop folder entitled "my nudes", and I made sure the naughty photo folder was moved to the middle of my desktop where it couldn't be overlooked. I then casually handed him my laptop and told him I had to run a few errands. When I got back, I checked whether he'd opened any of my naughty photos while I was gone. Every nude photo in the whole gallery had a "last opened" time stamp from during the time I was gone from the house. He definitely had looked startled when I got back home, and just scurried upstairs with his pajama pants fully pitched like a tent. I'm not even sexually attracted to him, but it somehow never ceases to give me a small thrill to let him see my body lately. I'm blonde and curvy (5'7 tall, 155 pounds, which is curvier than I would like to be

I always liked my brother's fiancee. We got along nicely and talked about everything very openly. One day she expressed a certain curiosity for the stuff I'm "into", so I showed her my collection of sex toys. Her eyes widened with excitement ... my brother's? Not so much. He is and always will be the vanilla guy. She asked me what this and that is for, how you use it and so on. Some months after that we talked again (this time privately) about her own collection, that she since got and how she wishes to use it. She said, that my brother tries his best, but just isn't into it at all. Her fantasies were quiet hot to be honest - the usual stuff, but she told them in a way that got me instantly hard. You might want me to tell you that I took her right then and there, but no. I'm not the kinda guy, that fucks his brother's fiancee just because it would be fun.

So I watched those two over the next couple of months while they somewhat drifted apart. He got more into his hobbies than spending time with her, which led to him breaking of the engagement. I asked her how she is doing and she seemed quite ok with it. She also thanked me for showing her a site of herself she never knew she had and wished to stay in contact with me.

A few weeks later I get a call from her inviting me to her new place for a chat and some tea. As soon as I arrived and enter her apartment, I knew what was up. She wore her tiny skin-tight shorts and sports bra, sweating from her work-out. My brother got her into sports and damn the results spoke for themselves. She always had a great figure, but now she just looked like a freaking model. I asked her if she forgot our meetup and if I should come back another day, but she simple replied with a little wink and a "I just needed a quick work-out". Immediately I got an erection that was pretty hard to hide, but I tried. She let me in and asked if I wanted something to drink. I just looked down and back up at her and said that a tea would be fine. While we waited for the water to boil, she sat opposite me at the table and started some small talk. I think she recognized I wasn't really listening, so she stood up and pointed at a few clothes that laid on the floor. "Sorry for the mess, I still haven't really moved in you know". I looked around the flat and saw, that it was absolutely clean and tidy. If she didn't place those items right where she knew I would be sitting, I will eat a broom. "Just let me put those in the washing machine really quick and then we will have our tea." This is the first time I really looked at the items as she walked over. It were her god damn used panties! All crusty and dirty. What I would give to just be able to sniff those for a minute... She bend over and down to pick them up ... in the perfect height for me to just tear down those shorts and put my dick right into her if I wanted. And what an ass she got! If you saw it on a tiny figure like hers you would think that those would be implants. Just thick enough on a petite one like her. Then she stood up and went into the bathroom, while I was still staring at the place where her ass was just a moment ago. At this point I was just horny, plain and simple. Should I just walk into the bathroom and take her? My conscience got the better of me and figuratively glued me to my chair.
She came back out and prepared the tea for us. As she walked over to the table, she sat down on the chair next to me and spoke about some work-related stuff. My "mhm"s and "yeah, that's tough"s seemed to be enough for her for now, but in my head the only thought I had was "fuck her, fuck her, fuck her". This chant was interrupted by her mouth close to my ear whispering "What else do I have to do for you to finally put your cock in my mouth?". For a second, that felt like ten, I just sat there and her words simply did not compute. I felt her hand on my thigh slowly finding it's way up to my cock.

That's the moment I pulled my chair back and looked at her. "Oh don't tell me you don't want me to get you off? I have always seen how you looked at me." I felt caught for my glances in the past at her cleavage and by my own general horniness, but that didn't matter right now. "No, I just wanted to make space for you". I stood up, pulled down my pants and sat back down again. She immediately looked at my cock and I could see the slight hint of disappointment in her eyes. "You know, I always wondered what your cock would look like. Your brother is an inch or two bigger than you." She grabbed it and gave it a few strokes. With my dick still in her hand and a cheeky little smirk on her face she got close to my ear and said "But now that I have it in my hand, I can feel that your's is thicker than his" and started to kiss my neck. I can't believe she remembered my sexual weak spot from the talks we had way back. A little moan escaped my mouth, which just encouraged her. I could feel that my initial doubts and resistance started to fade away and I just enjoyed what was happening. In one fell swoop I grabbed her neck and abrasively pulled her face in front of mine. "You want my cock in your mouth? Then open it." With a slightly confused but aroused look she did as told and open her mouth with a little pop sound. The forceful push I gave her head on my dick was met with almost no resistance at all. I laid my head back and closed my eyes as I could feel her relax and just going to town on my cock. The small dribble of saliva flowing down my shaft towards my balls felt amazing and her slick moves with her tongue incredible. It's like my brother always told me: This girl loooooves giving head and does it with a passion shared by few others.

"Get up!"
If I didn't already knew it from our previous conversations, her rapid movement told me, that she always wanted for a sexual partner to talk to her like that. She stood in front of me, eagerly waiting for further instructions.
"Take off your clothes ... slowly"
A faint strand of spit in the corner of her mouth glistened in the evening sun as she smiled and started to gradually pull up her sports bra. Her two perky breasts stared right back at me. "I always wondered what your tits may look like. I have to say, I'm not disappointed at all." Button-like nipples and puffy ghost areolas with some freckles on a B cup. Still mesmerized from this sight, I began to stroke my cock. She dropped the bra on the floor and pulled down her shorts. Underneath it was a freshly-trimmed pussy with large outer labia, hiding the rest of it. What could not be hiding was the fact, that she was wet as fuck. No wonder her other panties looked the way they did. "My brother once told me, that you already come from blowing a guy. I think I believe him now."

This perfect image of a woman now stood in front of me and zealously glanced at my cock. "Oh, you want it that much?" Just a simple nod and a lick over her lips confirmed it. "Then kneel with your head against the wall". She got into position as did I. Standing above her with my dick right in front of her head I slowly pushed it towards her mouth, till the back of her head touched the wall. "Now open up". As soon as she did, I almost violently shoved my cock in her mouth and started fucking it. I could feel her gasping for air, but right now I didn't care. When I finally let her breath, small trickles of tears ran down her cheeks and my cock was almost as wet of her spit as it would have been fucking her. I could see some drops of liquid were forming under her pussy. As soon as she regained her breath, I just started again by grabbing her head and just violating her head against the wall. Her ecstasy reached a level where I could hear her moan and gag simultaneously. I pulled back out to let her breath, but she only said "no, keep going! I'm almost there." My balls were now so wet as well, that you could hear the sound of them clashing against her chin. The nails of her fingers almost drilled themselves into my ass as she was grabbing it towards her. She wanted every single inch of me in her. My movement was as fast as my body would let me and with a loud moan I came in her throat. With a gulping sound she swallowed every single drop she could get and even tried to suck for more with my cock still deeply buried in her mouth.

"Are you happy now?" I asked while pulling out of her. She looked on the floor towards the now quite big lake of her pussy juice, looked back up at me. "You have no idea how happy I am now." My cock still dangled on her face and she smiled. With her tongue she clean my cock and licked everything dry. I pull her ponytail and forced her to look up at me. "Don't forget the floor." She began to lick her own juices from the floor, ass up and nipples barely touching the ground. I sat back down on the chair with my now flaccid cock. "If you liked that ... there are many more things you could like that I could do to you. If that is what you want?" She crawled on all fours towards me. "Show me. Please."

I think that is enough for one message. btw, if you haven't guessed already, this is just a made-up story that I had to get off my mind.

I am a single woman in my 40's, but I am not lonely, I am here for the thrill of this place, exploring things I should not have.

Now, this will be a longer prelude, but I have to put this confession into context. I love and enjoy sex, I really, really do, and that is part of the reason I am here, of course, and over the years, I have gotten a reputation of an easy woman. Now, this is totally uncalled for, since, I am sure I had fewer sexual partners than my friends, but I guess I give off such vibes, with my looks, and the fact that I never had a serious relationship helps making this image convincing. On the other hand, my friends all were serial monogamists, with 10, 15, 20+ partners before marriage, while I only had 7 hook ups in my entire life, but hey, I never got married...

The thing is, I am super picky about the men I have sex with, and not in that way, I am not a success chasing hoe ,no, they have to be absolute 10s regarding their looks. This leads to the question, where am I on the scale - I can't tell, but I am a petite blonde, with big natural breasts, been called pretty all my life, and I spend a lots of money on my looks, and when I say a lots, I mean almost everything I earn.

Now, we come to the confession itself. One of my friends, she is married to this, absolute unit of a man, he is really tall, built like an Apollo, handsome, always groomed and well dressed, just a man any woman would want, and I have thought about him, since, he was the only such specimen I actually knew - thus my previous sexual encounters were so few and far between, that I had to quench my thirst in places like this one.

Fate had it, that his only sexual fantasy was a FFM threesome, and my friend, curious as she is, needed to ask him about it, and being insecure, like most women are, after hearing this, she rushed to give him what he wants, afraid that he might seek this elsewhere. So, I was approached by her, with this silly question, she said she talked about it with him, and that he would be excited to share their bed with me, and she suggested me in the first place, because, you know, "I am so free spirited".

Normally, I would say no to such a suggestion, but my infatuation with him, was just stronger than my will to evade awkward situations in the future, so I said yes.

We did it at their home, when they were alone for the weekend, and it was way better than I imagined such thing could be. He was an amazing lover, and he did give me more attention than to her, especially to my breasts, and in the end, that was the place where he spilled his lust, at the end of a surprisingly long love making.

I did not climax, not because he did the wrong things, no, but because I saw that she was out of it, not enjoying a single moment of this ordeal.

It has been two months since this happened, and my hope that it will happen again faded, after she bailed on seeing me two times, with some, obviously made up excuses. I kind of expected something similar, and that was the reason I was reluctant to do it, but hey, there is nothing to be done now.

My confession is, that I still think of him, of that night, every time I do look for sexual relief.

I’m in a kink community in my home state and I am a dominant man in that scene. I’ve been in a terrible mindset for about a month an a half. I care about my friends in the community, they’ve helped me grow into a better man, even gotten me a better 2nd job than the first one I had. But the lifestyle stuff, all the stuff with people and interactions, it’s getting to me.

I can’t deal with personal emotions, I just can’t, love, intimacy, attachment, they make about as much sense to me as quantum mechanics. But in this lifestyle they’re in my face every time I go to our dungeon. I say our because the community has accepted me, I can tell they want to help and have me grow. They put a lot of faith and trust in me. They want to see me succeed, even try to help me get with the girls that come out, they do everything they think they can. They’re good people, honest people.

And I don’t deserve a single bit of their friendship, not I’m my eyes. Seems like every time a new girl comes in to the group I get thrown off, I get moody, angry, down, all I can think about is how I can’t have the things I want. Recently a very cute and sexy girl came out, we played some on her 1st time out, and the look she got when she was done for the night. Eyes that screamed at me that I could do anything I wanted in that moment. But I knew better, I let her go, I wasn’t going to ruin anything for her for her first time. She’s moved on to other things in the group, and our “relationship” if you can even call it that, is awkward at the very best of times. Last time we were both out I basically sat and tried to forget she even existed, failed miserably and looked like, according to one friend “I was pouting over her playing with someone else.”

I couldn’t be a part of that situation, I had to try to shut my brain off, but when she is right over your shoulder getting played with, it’s not possible. I try to keep myself out of the lifestyle, my personal emotions and desires. I know they interfere with others and their own wants and needs, I know mine ultimately don’t matter in relation to the needs of others in the community. I’m a small fish in this pond and I have no right to claim I’m important enough to justify attention. Hence why I’m here writing about all this instead of anywhere on fetlife.

This kind of thing keeps happening, I get all stupidly attached to any pretty face that pays attention to me, then get my guts ripped out when they inevitably move on or don’t have any interest. And it isn’t befitting of a dominant man. Or any man. It’s stupid and childish. And it infuriates me that I can’t figure out how to deal with this. I can’t keep dragging everyone down with my juvenile antics. They count on me and I can’t let them down. And it doesn’t do them service to have them worry about trivial matters such as my inability to deal with my shit.

All the shit I get to do, my life being better now, when I think about my stupid problem all that fades out and I lose sight of my position in life. This even keeps me from masterbating, or even enjoying it, cuz all I can think about is how I’m jacking off to try and feel better and sate my young adult lust. Just makes me think of how immature I am and how I don’t really belong in the lifestyle or the community. I’ve considered quitting, but if I did the community would ask what the problem was, why I would leave, and then I’d be really exposed as the jackass I am.

I don’t expect any answers really, honestly I doubt anyone will read this to the end. But idk if you have any input I’ll read it.

Megan often comes to me in dreams. She represents a profound familiarity that I’ve experienced little elsewhere. A comfortable old pair of shoes. You don’t consider their presence as such, you just slip them on. Not dismissed, but seldom considered as such. Not taken for granted - accepted as is. The way we accept a hip connecting to a pelvis, and so on. A perfect fit continued to be forged through wear and time. Familiar, easy, a place where, should one have their way, would forever be. Yet alas, I awake from the conjured feelings of long ago, and feel them fade. But they leave behind remnants protruding of a time gone, but to not be buried. A loss, but not in vain, as I didn’t know this feeling before meeting her. And now there’s more. Something to move back and forth with - to aspire to. And I do so with hope. It solicits hope. It is hope. To believe in the thing you aspire to as though it’s already here. There’s no question it exists. There’s no question it’s obtainable. And you allow that knowing to stroke you. That settled warm feeling of fire rising from your belly. It emanates from your heart. That for me is hope. And is what these dreams leave behind.

We didn’t get along, Megan and I. For nine excruciating years we didn’t get along. But we were passionate and familiar and comfortable. And so we stayed, despite the pain of needing to not be together. Because those are the things I aspire to be with someone. Only this time with love. But we stayed. And passion was our love.

We kissed as though we belonged to one another. Mouths interlocked. Each tongue exploring the other’s. This singular act elicited depravity within both of us. An equal exchange of rational behavior for pleasures, summoning an irrationality neither ever cared to resist - only dig our claws deeper into. An equal exchange of saliva. This roused me. I couldn’t get enough. We couldn’t get enough. And what made it hard, harder than even I thought was possible, was her arousal for the reverent exchange. And so we proceeded as so. My insatiability met with not only acceptance, but a desire for more. And not simply more of the same, as though continuing on cruise control. But if 55 MPH was good, then for her, more MPH would be better. So more meant deeper diving into insatiability. And more quenched the fire while stoking more desire.

My arousement extracting hers. Her receival reciprocating mine. Exchanging spit, I couldn’t believe that drooling into someone's mouth could turn them into the demon for desire she became. I couldn’t believe I was being met there. And not only met, but summoned. I often deem my lust for underbellied passions of life to be met only in my fantasies. But then I remember Megan.

I fed her, and she received it. Gobbling as though feeding her pending orgasm. Grabbing at my tongue. Pulling me into hers. Latching on. Quite frankly, I drooled and she drank. She suckled and I provided. Her hand to her vagina, she rubbed. Mine on myself. We fed from each other our longing to no longer be together, misdirected toward the quenching of our insatiable desires for pleasure. Our desire for more became our passion toward each other. Meeting only where we both knew how to feel good. Satiating the insatiable, we came. Her with her hands, me with her mouth. I fed and she lapped, treating my head as if it were still my tongue. I provided the familiarity of taste, of her pleasure. I edged myself, sometimes for hours. The first white glistening drop emerging proud from its tip was received like a diamond on an engagement ring. The look on her face as her eyes rolled back into her head. Her mouth opened, her cheeks softened and glazed over with blood red. Her tongue searching for proof of my enjoyment. My cock slowly released into her mouth, a little at a time, precum wiped onto her tongue like a rag she loved to use for cleanup. My edging, edged her. She couldn’t cum until I did. This wasn’t a rule or a game we played. There were no rules. Megan did not have the ability to cum until I came. My cum created her orgasm. And her orgasm I was after.

A trickle of spit added to her mouth. Replacing my tip with my tongue. Back and forth. My swollen head making a quick visit to the back of her throat. “Oh fuck.” Her large gravity defying bust heaving upwards in one snake-like full bodied writhing motion. Her two words said more than seductive measures ever could. Not more of the same, but more. And so our synchronicity became locked on each other's cum. And she suckled until my orgasm became hers.

I search for the familiarity of not only a mouth to cum in again - there’s been many - but the knowing in myself that despite the deepest and sometimes darkest desires I hold, the ones I sometimes feel only exist in my brain, also carry the ability to not only be met and received, but carried in someone else's desires as well. For every cock that needs to cum, a mouth awaits to receive it. And for every mouth that needs to feed, a cock waits to feed it. What we search for is also searching for us.

I wish Pan/Bi/Gay/Etc. had the same options a dominate woman has.
Someone to care for me and want to make me happy and content.
I have cared for those who I love and they loved me.
I have also been hurt or should we say others damaged my body in pure hate and lack of care for anyone.

Years have not been good to me.
People seem not to value someone who has placed others before their own future.

Now middle aged and no one in my life I fear nothing but losing everything is all that's left.

I see so many types of kinks and fetishes including those who have a need take care of and do for others.

I am not dominate or submissive but have taken charge when the need has sadly come up.

I have cried as I could do nothing but be by the side of who I love as they fade away.

If someone loved me and gave all to me, cared for me, made the rest of my life stress free and make a place with them where I need not fear or stress over anything anymore. Someone who truly loves to love me and wants to do everything for me because they want to just as those who state just that about wanting a woman to do and be all for them. I dream as there is someone for others that there is someone for me.

I can dream of many things that if they want, they can hear my thoughts and dreams and share in them. I want them to tell me their dreams and we watch and find many sane and safe things we can explore and try and I hope enjoy and crave more of.

If they need to do things then I would love it if they would tend to my body in playful ways as they clean and care for me and turn me on and drive my cravings for many things.
We share many things in our life. Many common everyday things.

With a dominate person, Many on their profiles or write where they love and dream to pleasure and do any dirty thing that pleases with great pleasure. They say even if placed in pain would please the dominate then the submissive would enjoy what ever pain given to them.

I am not like that.
I would enjoy sharing joy and pleasure with who would be selfless and giving to me.
They say they at any time are ready to sexually serve and worship their love.
Someone being all those things to me and truly happy to do it and even more seeing me happy would build the need in me to also just out of the blue want to do nice things to them.

If they are always giving oral and anything I love and always tempting me to get oral or give them anal or even to give me a hands free orgasm from anal then I would love to have them near, hold them, touch them, touch their body in ways I hope excites and gives pleasure and even when they are erect I give oral and when they cum I swallow it all and suck and lick them more just for fun.

If they are clean and ready for anal I may just finger them and give oral and make them cum if they wish me to make them orgasm when ever I feel.

If they get clean and offer their ass to me to take any way I dream then I would love to.

I also want them for my pleasure to clean and then give anal but stopping before they cum and then repeat and train to last only leaking precum into me while making me closer and closer to an orgasm just from pleasing my anus in all the ways I dream.

Do they want me to piss in their ass?
Do they want to drink it direct from my dick?

That and all kinks are up to them as I am not going to make them.. But I will help provide what I can to feed their kinks in ways I can...

If there is someone out there for me who dreams of someone different to be submissive to and would like how I return love for theirs then there is hope I will not die in fear of being un cared for it loved forever....

I wish there were groups who could match mindsets and ways of not taking risks to place the other in any harm...

If with others who stay safe and take no risks and only share them self with the loyal lovers they match, I know I would not need to hold back anymore and we could go sexually crazy :)

No i did not ask for someone to be rude to this post...
I do not attack you so if you have nothing good to say then please find someone who wants that and attack there...

I am not one you would have any issues with if a neighbor and you just respected my rights as I would yours...

We all are different and can support the others cause and wishes so no one can take them away us.
Be well and have open minds for all :)