Finding Daddy in a Good Girl

Hello, Everyone,

From the first person, so a lot of I me my... Am working through a painful D/s breakup and was hoping this would help others, so you're the I me my.

After the blind-siding end of a second long-term DD/lg relationship-- the first a 10-year marriage (not surprising), the last a 10-month 24/7 LDR (breathtakingly surprising. Does 10 months count as long-term?)-- and finding once again that I was moaning about passive-aggressive, narcissistic pussies who THINK they're Daddy Doms but are really submissive cowards, I made myself very quiet and asked myself exactly what I thought a good Daddy was.

As a result, instead of moaning some more, crying into my pillow, or sending him a bajillion texts asking him why he was being such a cunt and letting him talk me back into the relationship (or, rather, manipulate me into talking myself back into the relationship), I went out on a tear (thank God for New Orleans), sloshed home to create a FetLife account, joined some relevant groups, contacted a couple of local people who seemed like they knew their way around the scene, and read myself back into soberville for almost 24 hours straight. And then, I started a list of the qualities I thought were essential in a Daddy Dom.

The list of words became fairly lengthy, so I started a taxonomy and they ended up fitting into groups of three. I'm sure the information architect in me (yes, I'm a geek, shut up.) will further categorize these groups, but it just began to seem... I don't know, lyrical. And then, the word, "compassionate" started resonating. First, my eyes were drawn again and again to that 13-letter composition, and then the sound of its 4 syllables echoed fluidly in my head like water moving, and finally that reciprocal beating of the rhythm of the word with my heart that happens when my body's trying to tell me something began.

It occurred to me that it might be the little girl in me that was trying to soften toward him again after he betrayed my trust for the 4th time in as many months. But no, that softening wasn't happening this time (and still isn't, thank you very much). While thinking about this, the question, "What exactly is a Good Girl?" started whispering, and a new list began. And, guess what?

The lists are virtually identical.

To an independent, perceptive, dominant woman in all other aspects of life, this shouldn't have been the epiphany that it was. How could a woman who prides herself on her unerring spidey sense and strength of character be suckered in by not one, but two men of low character who manipulated the very D/s abandon that led her to them initially?

And that's when I realized that compassion wasn't supposed to be reserved solely for others. Unless you consider the little girl inside of a strong woman to be other. And, I don't anymore. That little girl, I, deserve(s) the same compassion, forgiveness and understanding as Daddy does. A Good Girl requires a Daddy with a strength of character to match her own. Even if that requisite reciprocity comes from being her own Daddy while she searches for the man who truly deserves and appreciates her considerable love, power and control.

So, sit tight, little girl. You've got everything you need in the interim.

Here are the lists, if you're interested:

Daddy Is (1) The Law Of Threes:
https://fetlife.com/users/1864710/posts/1228667]

A Good Girl Is (1) The Law Of Threes:
https://fetlife.com/users/1864710/posts/1229514]

XOXOX,
Rain

I am fucking a woman on the side, who is way out of my league.

The thing is, this woman, and we are both in our 40's, is so beautiful, that it hurts, but on the other side, she is a, lets call it a nerd, an architect, very introverted, dresses very, very shy, baggy clothes, no make up, but no matter how hard she tries to hide her looks, it is visible from outer space.

Met her at a watch group meet up (yes, that is a thing), and she was one of the few women there. At first, I found her interesting, regarding the hobby, since there is not so many women interested in this, we exchanged numbers, and stayed in touch.

This happened two years ago. We became kind of online friends, discussing topics on the hobby, met more than once for coffee, etc. I learned a lot about her. She only had one bf, and that lasted for over 15 years. He was a bad boy, ended up in prison, and then she ended it. No friends, no social life.

I wasn't planning on doing anything, but I did jerk off to the though of her. Last summer, we were out on coffee, during work hours, when she invited me to her place, for a few minutes, so she can show me all of her collection in person. I wasn't sure that she wanted anything other than that, but soon as we walked in, I knew she wanted something else.

Ended up on top of me, and she was ready, shaved, sexy lingerie, and I couldn't believe what set of tits she was hiding under her baggy clothes. She even had condoms. I struggled to endure, even with a condom on, until she was done, but I managed somehow.

Now, six months in, I fuck her at least once a week, raw, we even did some anal on few occasions.

I think I am in love, and at a cross road of my life.

Here's my motherfucking confession, faggots.

I fucking despise religious people, especially ones who are otherwise intelligent in other endeavors. There is no goddamned excuse to be religious if your I.Q. is above 100.

I fucking despise tree trimmers, bank tellers, receptionists, high school vice principals, assistant librarians, paramedics, apprentice plumbers, Walmart pharmacy techs, city parks workers, landscape architects, helicopter pilots, print journalists, party planners, Avon salesbitches, and dairy workers. All of them are going straight to motherfucking hell.

I fucking despise anyone who builds or lives in a house on sloped terrain.

I fucking despise bitches with too much or too little pussy hair, and those with hair that is too course or too fine or too straight.

I fucking despise bitches with brown assholes or brown cunt lips or brown nipples.

I fucking despise anyone from merry old fucking England, and anyone who likes the fucking shit they call food.

I fucking despise anyone who lives in Los Angeles or has visited or wants to vist there. Same with Amarillo, Texas, Witchita, Kansas, and Sand Point, Idaho.

I fucking despise motherfuckers who drive stupid fucking redneck trucks that you need a ladder to climb into.

I fucking despise anyone who watches network sitcoms. They are fucking retarded.

I fucking despise dumb fucking retards who don't fucking read books.

I fucking despise bitches who won't take cocks up their ass.

And I fucking despise each and every one of you cocksucking, motherfucking losers and I hope each of you are burned alive.

I fucking despise fat, ugly, bitchy cunts who think the world owes them shit.

I fucking despise bitches who get pregnant intentionally and then refuse to flush the fucking piece of shit down the drain and demand I be a motherfucking moneybag for her trailer trash bastard.

Fuck you all, faggots.