I had a strange relationship with my room mate, back in my 20's.

I just started working in the city, and she was a friend of a friend, who needed a room mate, so that is how we started living together. We were both in mid 20's, and she was this petite, beautiful brunette, very slim, flat chested, but with a great, athletic figure.

She was a great room mate, nice, calm, not too loud, didn't party, nor have people over, and I was pretty much the same. Of course she attracted me sexually, but I wasn't doing anything about it for two reasons, first one, not to ruin a perfectly well organized living situation, second, I figured she was out of my league.

It was a small, one bedroom apartment, so in the beginning I was sleeping on the couch in the living room. After a while, we figured that we like spending time together in the evenings, watching TV, and drinking cheap beer and wine.

In the end, she called me to sleep in the bedroom, since it had two beds, with an agreement that one of us will evacuate to the couch, if the other brings someone in.

That never happened to me, and she wasn't very active either, she had one bf, for a short time, but I think he slept over two or three times.

Neither of us had many friends, so it was just me and her.

She started going out of the shower just in her underwear, changed in front of me (never going naked, but stripping down to her undies), and I would joke about it, asking her to stop, since I haven't had a girlfriend in ages, and she was replying with some motivational shit, like, go out more, laughing it off.

I would use this new situation, to go out of the shower just in my boxers, with my erection clearly visible. She always looked, but didn't comment.

Every night, I would go to bed , with a raging hard on, I would smell her in the room, too afraid to even move. One of those nights, we weren't still asleep, each in our own bed, and I was so horny, that I thought I will get an aneurism, so I got up, and told her I am going to the living room, and if she would be ok not to come out until I am back. With a sleepy voice, she asked me "gonna watch porn", and we both laughed when I said yes.

So I did this two or three times a week, and always told her to stay away, and she would always have a comment, something like "you did it yestraday", or "again?", but every time it was in a joking fashion, so I figured she didn't mind.

Few weeks later, during one of those nights, she suddenly got out of the bedroom, saying loudly "don't mind me, I got thirsty".

The sound of her voice, and the sight of her, made me cum instantly, and I just covered myself with a blanket, until she got back in the room.

These late night visits weren't frequent, but after a while, she continued to do it. "Bathroom, passing through", or "sorry", and I just started edging, while waiting for her to come. I stopped covering myself when she would pass by, and with corner of my eye, I was looking if she was looking my way. She was.

As soon as she would be back in the room, I would cum. So, I wanted a next step, to cum in front of her. I edged for seven days, yes, seven days, without cumming, during the day, while at work, my balls were hurting, and I just wanted to give her a show. It wasn't intentional, I must admit, on day three, I had my living room session, but she didn't come out, same on the day five, but on the seventh day, I almost lost all hope, when I heard the door open. At this point, she didn't even speak to let me know she is coming through, she just went to the bathroom.

Now, the couch was facing slightly towards the bathroom, with a bedroom door being behind. As I saw her coming out, I started blasting. I didn't look at her, I just saw her shadow standing there, it was so hard not to moan, since I shot three giant ropes of cum all over my chest.

"Jesus fucking Christ, man, we must find you a woman."

I felt a great deal of shame, at that moment, and this perfectly describes our relationship. It was obvious that she didn't want me, and there was some sourness in those words.

Yet, this continued, and one night, when passing by, she told me "this is stupid, if you have to do it, do it in the room, it is the same for me at this point, I saw your pecker a thousand times".

So, I did. She would just sleep, but with a few little changes. She stopped wearing pj's, because "this spring is too hot", even though we've been living together long enough, that I know that she wore her short summer pj's last year. I knew when she was sleeping, and when she was awake. While sleeping, she would cover herself totally, I guess she felt cold, like most women tend to, but when she was awake, she would "accidentally", uncover her bottom, for me to admire it.

One night, while I was doing it, she turned my way, looking at me. "What are you watching?"

"You don't wanna know"

"Ah, cmon..."

"Two guys one girl, a threesome."

"What are they doing?"

"Double penetration"

"Ewww, that sounds gross"

And she just turned around.

It was all like this, I can't even remember all the instances something similar happened. The funny part is, besides this, we still clicked perfectly, hung out every night, joked around, but it was obvious that she wasn't into me.

One night, we were drinking up to late at night, and I wasn't planning on wanking, since I was almost wasted, as was she. When we got to our beds, I almost fell asleep, when I heard some movement. Turned around, she was on her stomach, with her bottom uncovered, wearing a silk tongue (who wears that to sleep), and she was touching herself, with her hand, which was underneath her, while reaching between her legs.

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up, you do it every other night, I can do it once, can I "

I got up, and just couldn't ignore it. She heard me, she felt me standing over her, but continued. My hand reached between her legs, and I started kissing her ass cheeks, her legs. She pulled her hand back, and responded kindly,with moaning. I wanted to turn her around, but she made it clear that she likes it that way, tried to lick her pussy, from behind, but she kept her pelvis on the mat, but when my tongue reached between her cheeks, she perked her ass up, and let me have it. In under a minute of ass licking, she was done, moaning loudly, almost screaming.

As the thought of me mounting her was passing through my mind, she said "don't even think about it", and covered herself.

You can imagine how pissed I was. Still, this continued for a few more months, until one night, while we were hanging out, and drinking, she, while being quite tipsy, opened up, and told me that this whole thing became weird, that she loves me as a friend, but she feels this is sick, and that it has to stop.

I felt ashamed, and just sat there, like an idiot.

"I understand you, but, you know... Maybe I can suck you off, sometimes, I don't know"

I just got up, and unbuttoned my pants, and she did it, right there.

And, it became a thing. I was very careful not to overdo it, I would only bring it up when we had a fun night, when she had a few drinks, and felt good all around. I tried touching her, giving my best to get a reaction, but most times she would just move my hand. It wasn't frequent, maybe twice a month, and sometimes, she would do it mechanically, with no vigor, but other times, I could feel she was horny, since she flirted with my cock, looked me in the eyes, etc. One time, she even licked my ass. Not really, but it is the closest I ever got to a rim job, I was laid back on the couch, she was on her knees between my legs, going down on my balls, and as I wanked, while she was licking them, I lifted my legs a bit too high, to give her access to my scrotum, and she just went down, and went from bottom all the way to the balls, with her full tongue, crossing over my asshole. Not only did it make me cum instantly, she found it hilarious, and laughed like crazy.

This went on for another year, and I couldn't help but to fantasize, about her finally giving in, loving me, making love to me, since I couldn't imagine living without her.

Until one afternoon, she told me she is having someone over, and that I should relocate to the couch. She met him the day before. I could hear them fucking, she was moaning loudly, and the bed was fighting for it's life.

That was it, I had to move out.

It was fun, it was amazing, that period was the most interesting and intense part of my sex life, but you can understand why I feel bitter sweet, when thinking about it.

After I moved out, I have never seen her again. We were friends on fb, until she deleted her profile, and that was it.

One might think, that I felt the old urge, and passion, while writing all of this, but no, I felt miserable.