They were playing the Eagles game at the restaurant that I work at. The manager was being very cool about us watching the game with customers. Very cool about us watching the game instead of polishing silverware, folding napkins, etc.

My tables were all taken care of so I started watching the game.

And then I said “Yeah!! Nice! First down!”

Then I looked a bit closer.

“Oh! Wrong team!!”

A waitress rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah… Jimbo… I was kind of wondering there.”

So I’m not quite the american football fan that I pretend to be.

Kind of embarrassing.

Anyways, I didn’t immediately notice that the opposing team had our green colors.

I made this post in response to Viper2121's memo stating that chat needs me to be online saying stupid stuff so that folks have something to laugh at. So when i'm not on chat here is some stupid stuff i say in real life.

I met a girl a few years ago that i can’t take out of my head.We were in our early 20’s and we met at a bar .
She asked me if I wanted to go at her place for a last drink.
After the night cap she invited me to sleep at her house (in reality at her parent house that were gone at their cottage for the weekend) and told me I could sleep in her bed only if she was in it at the same time.
She was not the most beautiful girl , she was the curvy type and I like more the slim type but I decided to accept the invitation for the night.
We had sex for most of the night and I got back home early in the morning.
She reached me later that day to offer me to go hiking at a nearby trail in the afternoon and went for dinner at the end of the day. She was pleasant to talk and somehow I had a
pleasant weekend.
The next weekend I go back to the same bar as the previous weekend and she came to chat with me.Shortly after she invited me to go to her place to talk in a less noisy environment. When we got home we sat on the couch and she kissed me right away and I think when she saw that I was starting to have a hard on she took my penis out to her mouth for a few seconds and stopped to take off all my clothes and took her clothes off and just sat on my penis that just slipped easily down deep inside her while saying I have been waiting all week to have you in me again.
Her pussy was dripping wet and she was passionately going up and down over my penis within minutes I felt her coming hard and she got off my penis without me having an orgasm but she kept me hard alternating slowly and gently with her hand and her mouth on my penis( felt more like a tease ) for a minute or two and she jumped over me again and rode me to a big orgasm. Wow
On my way to the bathroom she tells me to join her in the bed after. While I am washing my friend a bit I hear a buzzing sound nearby through the closed door
Coming into her room , she had an old electric shaver in between her leg using the vibration of this noisy shaver on her clit and I shortly heard the big moan of her orgasm. Within 15-20 minutes it was her 3rd orgasms. With her it was never enough which was very pleasant as she was very generous with me.
After when we got more intimate , I would give her a clit orgasm and than an orgasm by penetration and right after she would masturbate her clit again while I was relaxing for another round.
Eventually we went out together for about 2-3 years.
At her parents place , the house was 1 floor plus the basement , most of the time during the evening we would go down in the basement to watch TV ( sometime her younger sister would join us but not always) while her parents would stay on the 1rst floor living room. At the beginning when her sister did not come down , she would put a blanket over her and ask me to masturbate her under the blanket while her parents were upstairs , I would just gently massage her clit until she quietly had her orgasms. One night her younger sister came downstairs quick , we were surprised as we did not hear her coming and my fingers were already massaging her clit. She gave me a look that met to not stop as she was close from orgasm. I think that her sister had figured out something as she almost came down every night downstairs to watch tv when we were there. Since my girlfriend was very unsatisfied to not get her usual evening orgasms , she eventually explained to her younger sister ( she was maybe 2 years younger ) that she was getting masturbated by me during the evening , that she could come downstairs every time she wanted with us as long as she did not tell the parents.
She could stay there as long as it remained a secret and that she remained quiet.
So I tried to be as discreet as I could masturbating my girlfriend under the blanket while her sister was sitting a few feet from us supposedly watching tv.
When leaving their house often late at night I would use the basement door. One night shortly after I left their house , I noticed that I forgot my wallet on the coffee table downstairs so I drove back to her house going back through the basement door that was not locked to discover my girlfriend sister legs open masturbating.
After talking to my girlfriend about it she let me known that her sister was getting horny watching us on the couch. My girlfriend told her that she would let her sister masturbate quietly under a blanket in the basement if she got too horny watching us.I think that she felt bad for her
I told her that I did not think that she would do it as she would be intimated to do it in my presence but I was wrong about 2 weeks later she came down with her blanket and masturbated for the first time. I guess it runs in the family as after that evening her sister masturbated profusely when she came downstairs and I think that knowing the sisters were masturbating beside each other they got even hornier . Eventually I tried to see if we could try a 3 some but my girlfriend objected strongly.
Only once she took my penis out to show it to her sister that had been bugging her to see it only once.
Shortly after seeing it we saw movements under her blanket and an orgasm face that she tried to hide.

These two sisters were just always horny.

These was never a dull moment with this ex.

I do not know if writing about this experience of my life will help me forget her or it will only make it more present in my mind.

Why am
i always the one to submit? I try and turn the tables on my wife all the time. I’ll tell her things like no panties with your sundress today… she turns it around and says “you wear panties today” and I do so does she with her sundress. I’ll tell her to piss her pants or panties and she tells me “no bathroom privileges for you today whatsoever!” And sitting on the deck having coffee she gets up to go use the Bathroom and says “ you’d better be spoiled when I return!” And she forces me to soil myself, I do and sit in it until she thinks I’ve been in it long enough. I bought her dildo, she fucked me with it. I tried getting her to flash a friend that was over for drinks, she stripped me down in front of my buddy making sure to boast about my panties I wore. Than had me remove them now totally naked to show him my little dick. She knows I wanted to see her sick his cock, she made me suck his cock and pointed out my little hard on to him as I sucksd his cock.  

So why do I walkways submit, why won’t she submit every now and than… it’s only fair. I’m 

Making fakes of my new coworker while she sits across the table from me rn…I’m so fucking hard

My girlfriend and I work in different restaurants. I manage one and she waits tables in another. I work a lot of nights till closing and get home about 3am and she gets home at 10pm.

One night earlier this week I noticed a few empty beer bottles in the trash and I knew I hadn’t drank them and she doesn’t like beer so I asked her who had been there. She said she had a co-worker named Justin over after work and they hung out for a while. I’ve met him and he seems like a nice guy and he’s a good looking guy so I was suspicious and asked why. She said she felt bad for him because he’d been dumped by his girl and he lacks confidence so she wanted him to have a friend to talk to and hopefully cheer him up. That info made me even more suspicious so I bluntly asked her if she fucked him. She of course said no, they just talked but I didn’t believe her. My girl is really hot, thin, long dark hair, tight ass, good tan and just cute as hell so I knew if he didn’t fuck her, he wanted to.

We were both off the next day and I was super horny thinking about the possibility of them fucking so I started kissing and fondling her when I woke up. I woke her up and put her hand on my rock hard cock and told her I was so turned on because I knew she fucked him last night. She denied it again but I was persistent, kept bugging her about it and told her it didn’t make sense that he wouldn’t at least try and fuck her. Finally I just blurted out that I would love her even more if she just admitted it to me because the thought of it turned me on more than anything. Well that did the trick and she admitted that they had fucked TWICE and the first time was pretty much right after they got in the door.

That day was the best sex of my life and I’ve fucked her multiple times every day since while she describes what they did together. I’ve had her describe every detail of how they fucked, what their hands were doing, where they kissed each other, what his body was like, how big his cock was, did she cum and where did he cum.

I’m definitely going to make sure she fucks him again and I’ve even suggested she might find a nice looking stranger to fuck and then tell me all about it. She seemed open to the idea.

My 29yo gf has 2 kids from her ex husband and im 20 well i confess that when ever I stayed over and we all sat at the table my gf would jerk me or even blow me in the same room as her kids they have never seen us but there so close they can just turn around and see there mommy sucking some guys cock and that gets me rock hard

quite recently i posted on here regarding my exploits while i was incarcerated, to sum up i was basically leaving my shit all around the prison, smearing shit on other prisoners and myself and just generally being what most people consider revolting with shit.
i have kind of decided to make myself even more objectionable now that i have been released back into the community. my plan involves me commencing a sexual relationship with one of my fellow inmates long time girlfriends, i have already done much of the ground work on this so it can happen when ever i choose basically. the inmate in question is serving a fairly long stretch but after having sex with his gf my plan involved me shitting all over his house. in the bed, on tables and seats smearing the poo all over the place. i would desire to take some photos of my handy work that could be conveyed to him.
i imagine he would be totally infuriated, im going to love hearing about the reaction and fall out over this.

I was sitting at the kitchen table, talking to mom as she cooked supper. I was in my bikini top and running shorts. Daddy comes home from work and walks up to me. Without saying a work he undoes his pants and pulls out his throbbing cock and balls. He grabs me by the ponytail and forces his cock into my mouth. I didn't have time to prepare and started to gag and drool right away. Mom says, "Let her breathe, Walter." So Daddy pulls out for a moment while I gather myself. He shoves his massive cock to the back of my throat and starts fucking my mouth and throat while holding me in place with his hand in my hair. I relax, open my throat like he taught me and press my tongue up against his cock. He groans as he slides it in and out along the length of my tongue. I can taste the saltiness of his sweaty cock and the musty flavor of his old-cum. He takes his other massive hand and tears at my top to get at my tiny tits. He squeezes them hard and kneads them like bread dough. He pinches my nipples until I squeal - all the time ramming his cock down my throat.

Somewhere in the assault, Mommy kneels beside me and unties my top, exposing my sore little tits. She also finishes undoing my Daddy's pants and pulls them down to his knees. She fondles his balls in her hand and says, "That's it Walter! Fuck the little slut. You've been thinking about her all day. Give her your seed. Fill her with your cum!"

Daddy grunts and jerks. I can feel the usual spasms shake down the shaft of his cock and I prepare for his load. With every deep grunt another gush of hot cum pours down my throat. Again and again and again and again.

He growls when he's done violating my throat, and he pulls me up to my feet. He turns me around roughly and bends me over the table. He pushes my head down onto the wood, and I can see the glass of coke I was drinking an inch from my nose. He and Mommy grab my shorts and panties and with one motion have them at my ankles. And again Daddy plunges his hard meat into me. A shock of pain ripped through my cunt as he was suddenly and roughly all the way in. Luckily, my pussy was already wet and his cock was covered with my drool and his cum. Still there was still a little too much friction to be pleasurable until about the third or forth thrust. Then he really started to fuck me hard and deep. I moaned like the little whore I am. "Oh FUCK, Daddy, FFUUCCKK!!!!!" He slapped my ass and told me to shut up. But every time he pounded his cock into my pussy, I quietly exhaled a moan. Mommy egged him on,"That's it baby...fuck that little slut. Fuck her worthless cunt." She played with his balls and fingered his ass, which drove him into an animalistic state. He howled and tore into my poor tight pussy...using his little girl as a cum bucket. His final thrust nearly knocked me off my feet, but he held my hips and lifted my feet off the floor as he arched his back and pumped his hot cum into my tired little pussy.

Then Daddy plopped into the same chair I was sitting in just a few minutes ago. I couldn't move. Mommy was on Daddy's cock in a second, licking and cleaning traces of blood, cum and my pussy juice off his cock. Then she turned to me. Spreading my ass and lips apart, and looking at my swollen, gaping hole, she licked me clean and sucked the rest of Daddy's cum from my pussy. Then as I stood up and went to my room for a shower, I looked back and saw Mommy kneeling between Daddy's knees, sucking his cock long and deep. I knew supper would be late. She'd be riding his cock as soon as he was hard again.

Can anyboody help me find a retro 70s/80s bondage film where 2 girls and a guy walk into a basement and a thin girl gets tied to a table, gets a dildo padlocked up her ass and nipple clamps put on her and when she cums the guy says rip your tits off!!