They were playing the Eagles game at the restaurant that I work at. The manager was being very cool about us watching the game with customers. Very cool about us watching the game instead of polishing silverware, folding napkins, etc.

My tables were all taken care of so I started watching the game.

And then I said “Yeah!! Nice! First down!”

Then I looked a bit closer.

“Oh! Wrong team!!”

A waitress rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah… Jimbo… I was kind of wondering there.”

So I’m not quite the american football fan that I pretend to be.

Kind of embarrassing.

Anyways, I didn’t immediately notice that the opposing team had our green colors.

I made this post in response to Viper2121's memo stating that chat needs me to be online saying stupid stuff so that folks have something to laugh at. So when i'm not on chat here is some stupid stuff i say in real life.

Happy Valentine’s Day For me!! I’ve always wanted to watch my wife take a hard fucking By another guy. I ran into a single former coworker in a store. He said I hope you Some good sex today because he hadn’t got laid in forever. So I called my wife and told her about him. She knows I’ve always wanted to she knows I’ve always watch her do that. After a pretty long conversation with her about it she nervously said ok go tell him to come over. Got me horny as fuck when she said that . When he got there we all went Immediately into bedroom and I watched his eyes roll back in pure fucking pleasure the first time he pushed his dick into her pussy! He didn’t last long and he shot a gigantic fucking load On her pussy while my cock was jammed down her throat .

Will her eyes roll if I plunge her asshole while she snorts a line

So my son and his wife have been divorced now for three years, long back story but not important and out of respect she has always called me dad when they got married
So she has stayed close with my wife and i because of family i go over her new place when ever the wife wants to send over food or gifts and when ever she needs things fixed around the house.

one weekend i had gone over to hang a new door for her it was the weekend my son had his family so after i finished it was late and she was out most the time shopping gym etc. she came in with pizza and a few other things and said let me clean up and we can eat i was like sure sounds good so she came out after a few and i have to say she looked pretty good in her sweats and tank top
we sat down to eat and she opened up wine and pored two glasses we talked for a while and she thanked me for the door and made the comment what we she do without me, i said i did not mind helping and she just said i know but really i appreciate everything you have done for me and the family over the years and made a small joke about how your son could never fix anything i rolled my eyes and just said yeah i know.

she got up cleaned the plates and put the food on the stove and said if i wanted anything else she would just leave it out, i said no i was good and i was going to get going No No No she grabbed the wine pored both of us the rest and said come sit with me OK so i moved over to the couch where she had plopped down and kept telling me about her day, next thing i know her hand was on my leg and she kept talking and her faced had moved closer to mine she was laughing at some stupid comment i made about the person on the show she had on the TV next thing i know our lips were locked and she was sucking my mouth and tongue telling me how hard it has been for her i was in shock but kept going with it my mind was saying WTF but i just could not resist her lips. After a few minutes of passionate kissing i started to say listen Sarah we cant and that was it her finger went to my lips and said shhh dad i have really been into you for a while

Our eyes locked and that was it she was undoing my pants i was tearing off her top and before you know it she had me naked she had just her panties on and we were like two horny animals sucking and fucking in every position that was possible she had said during it my god dad you are amazing and fuck me better than he ever did and other crazy shit i have not heard in a very long time

if anyone has had anything close to this happen to them let me know would like to hear about it or am i the only abnormal one here PS don't judge me on this

Lights dimmed low where I can barely see the out line of you. Stereo playing low in the back ground but I am focused in on you. Stand next to the bed kiss you deep with one hand on the back of your head and the creasing your ass. Damn you smell so good! Nibbling on your ears and neck till you let out a gasp. I can feel you getting hot rubbing up against me. Fuck the romance I am taking control. Throwing you on the bed climbing on top of you ripping your shirt off over your head I have to kiss you. Deep and wet with a lil tease as I move in close but don't kiss you. Pinning your hands above your head so you can't raise up kiss me. Bitting and licking you neck and ears whispering to you and dirty naughty things I am going to do to you. Kissing you down your chest pulling your bra up over your beautiful tits, lick and biting on your nipples, pushing them together and see if I can fit them both in my mouth. Damn I can feel your heart racing and your breathing change. watching you bite your lip as your eyes roll back and you moan softly. Working my way your tummy rolling you over undoing your pants pulling them down just far enough to see that soaking wet kitty, I am going to eat the breaks off that pussy. No playing around no teasing I mean business shoving my tongue in that tight wet hole. Mmmmm that's it fuck my face from the back. Squirming all over as my tongue works you from the back. Putting my wants under you wrapping my arms around your waist so you can't get away. I am here to stay. Screaming as flick my tongue off your hard swollen clit rolling around and up and down. Seeing how deep I can work it into that tight wet hole. Come on baby girl I want to feel you shake and cum on my face so I can taste you. That's it! Work that tongue, grind on my face. DAMN you are so sticky sweet! Kissing my way up your back after you cum pants still on laying on your belly I lean in to kiss you so you can taste yourself all over my face and as you do I slide into from behind. Fuck, so wet and tight. Gasping as I enter you. Slowly working you with long deep strokes. You feel so damn good. Our bodies working as one kissing your neck and ears whispering in your ears. Where do you want to go from here......

I picked up a girl much shorter and smaller than me(she's 25 5' and abt 130, I'm 31 5'7" and 200) the other night and while driving around drinking she started rubbing on my cock and told me we had two options.

She said I could take her back home (she lives with her mom) or take her back to my place. Well, with her hand on my cock the only thing I could say was to go back to my place.

We make it back to my place and we have a lot more to drink and finish off a fifth of vodka. Then things started to get hot and heavy and I fuck her tight little pussy, but I'm too drunk and can't cum.

So, the next morning I wake her up by rubbing her pussy from behind and then she comes to horny as hell. I took her missionary, doggy style, and cowgirl fcuking her tight little pussy (the tightest I've ever had). I told her she was tight and she tried to apologize, but I told her it felt good and worked my cock deep in her pussy until I exploded. Then, we took a shower together and I started to get ready for work.

She was all hot and bothered and hell bent on distracting me from work and started rubbing me until I had to drop my pants as I fingered her. She took me deep into her mouth then and gave me the most amazing blow-job that had me cumming in only two to three minutes (I've had a girl suck me for hours that couldn't do that). I told her I was cumming and tried to push her head back, but she grabbed my ass and sucked all my cum into her mouth and swallowed then sighed and rolled over into the pillow. I got dressed and went to work.

When I got home she was still in my bed. She had been drinking, but was groggy and still alert. We went to the living room and sat on the couch and rubbed each other until I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to taste her. I got on the floor in front of the couch and pulled her to me and begin to eat her pussy. I got really into it and as she started to cum she tried to push me away with her feet and hands, but I hooked my arms behind her thighs pulled her in close and rode her orgasm out.

We sat on the couch cuddling for a while and rubbing each other and doing shots. I told her she had a sexy tight little body and beautiful ass that I would love to lick. She gave me a sly grin and wiggled her eyebrows at me seductively and said 'We'll see.'

By this point she is really drunk and stumbles to her feet and grabs my now soft cock and pulls me to my feet. She guides me by the cock into my bedroom where she collapses on the bed face first. I bury my face deep in her ass and lick her pussy from behind and slowly work my tongue from her pussy to her ass. By now she is breathing deeply and I can't tell if she is enjoying it or if she's out.

So, I quit worrying about her pussy and start to lick just her asshole. At first I was careful and slow in case she didn't like it or woke up. But, the more I tongued her ass the more I wanted it and so I started to gently press first my pinky and then eventually my thumb against her brown eye. She would whimper and wriggle a bit, but never said a word.

It was more than I could bear so I spread her ass open as far as I could and pressed my forefinger to her hole. It was tight at first, but I kept licking my finger the way a girl would a cock and pressing it against her ass until it gave.

When my finger first entered her ass she bucked slightly, moaned loudly, and then lay completely still. So, I pulled my finger out and pushed against her hole again. This time it gave way much quicker and I could almost feel her ass try to suck in the tip of my finger.

I pulled my finger out again and set to vigorously licking her ass and pushing my tongue inside of her hole. She would moan and wriggle and then lie still again. So, I sat there staring at her asshole as I spread her cheeks and said how tight her ass was and how much it turned me on.

She didn't say anything so I stuck my finger just inside again and she moaned so I pushed a little deeper, up to the second knuckle this time. She lay still again so I pulled my finger all the way out and then stuck it in all the way as far as it would go. It felt so good that I started to finger fuck her ass, sticking my finger as far as it would go each time and then I worked a second finger in.

She was moaning loudly at this point and my cock was too hard to ignore so I stood up and pressed the tip against her hole. Just then she moaned and rocked back and the head of my dick slipped inside. I just stood there for a moment and then pulled out and pushed my cock back in. She grunted then and let out a little air fart against my dick that nearly made me cum, so I pushed deeper into her ass. From then on she didn't fart, squirm, or moan as I shoved the full length of my cock into her ass.

I slowly fucked her ass for about ten minutes until I couldn't resist anymore and emptied my balls deep into her ass. I then lay down behind her panting and fingered my cum from out of her ass into her pussy. She moaned and bucked against my hand a couple of times but never said a word.

Then, this morning she gets up goes to the bathroom and comes out rubbing her ass. She grins at me sheepishly and asks what happened. I look her body over and say we got fucked up and fucked. She then collapses on the bed in front of me and wriggles her ass up to my cock and puts it between her cheeks and starts to flex her ass muscles against my cock until I cum all over her ass. She then rolls over, grins, and falls asleep...

I confess I worship powerful black men

i am a 21yo white male, and my fantasy is to be mugged by two strong black thugs. i want them to take my phone, my wallet, everything i own, then punch me just to put me in my place

when theyre about to leave i will get on my knees and beg them, "fuck me, i worship the superior black race"
mmmmm, and then they take me off the path and into the woods a bit and take turns taking my dignity and my virginity
my little white dick shooting cum the whole time
their big long black dicks fucking me so hard and deep that my eyes roll into the back of my head
they fuck me retarded until they're ready to shoot their thick nigger cum deep inside my inferior white boy pussy
i feel their dick throb inside me and i know exactly what theyre doing,
"thank you so much for turning me into a faggot, thank you so much"

What do you think about eye rolling orgasms?

I once had Sexual encounter with another man.

I don't recall what website I met him on but I do remember that he approached me. I had toyed with the idea of messing around with another guy for some time, I had even talked to a few for a while but always backed out when it came time to meet up. This guy was different from the start.
He gave the impression that he had taken a long time to work up the nerve to contact another guy. In his initial email he stated that he wanted to try giving another man a blow job and was asking me anonymously because he wanted to keep any contact a secret. We started emailing back and forth, he seemed pretty cool, we shared common interests and talked about sex a lot. We became internet friends quickly.
He invited me over and I chickened out the first time, but because I fessed up that I was just scared he didn't bail. We talked a few more times and we agreed that when we met up we wouldn't plan to do anything. I was shaking when I got into my car to go see him, my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. As I pulled up to his apartment I kept driving, circling the block several times, I told myself it was to see if anyone had followed me, but the truth was I was just still scared shitless!
When I knocked on the door he opened it with the same nervous smile I had. We had similar builds, muscular but not huge and both the same height at just under 6ft. We shook hands, he handed me a beer and we sat down talking like good friends for awhile. He even showed me some funny videos online before we sat down on the couch and he asked "Want to watch some porn?" I replied with "sure." Doing my best not to look like I was contemplating bolting out the door.
The porn he put on was a girl getting fucked by one guy while she sucked the other ones dick. I starred at the screen for a few moments taking in the sight, when out of the corner of my eye I saw him rubbing the bulge in his sweat pants. That is when I realized I also had a hard on poking through my pants. "Do you mind if I pull it out?" he asked me. Again I only said "Sure" I kept my eyes on him as he pulled it out, it pointed straight up with a rather large head and nicely clean shaven. "You can pull yours out too if you like." He said stroking his cock. I couldn't help myself, I undid my belt and unzipped my pants. His eyes lit up when my dick sprang forth, it was a little long than his but much thicker. I began stroking it in front of him, matching his pace. It was then that I realized that neither of us were paying any attention to the porn anymore. Without taking his hand from his penis he moved a little closer to me, staring hungrily at my dick. My hand moved away from my cock to give him access as he reached over and began gently stroking me up and down. It felt very good.
Some how my hand had found its way over to begin stroking his cock as well. He looked me dead in my eyes before lowering his head. I could feel his hot breath on the tip of my dick, it felt like my body was going to melt. "Do you mind if I...?" he trailed off, "oh god please do" I whimpered. At first he only took my head in, gently sucking on it, next he licked my shaft from root to tip. My fear had been replaced with passion as I wanted to just jam his face down on my dick, but I held back. He again took my head into his mouth, pumping the shaft as he took more and more in.
He pushed his head all the way down, I could feel his tongue flicking around my shaft. This felt amazing. He pulled his head up and leaned back as though he needed to catch his breath, his hand now using his saliva to glide over my hard dick. Some how my face was being pulled toward his crotch. I hesitated for a moment "You don't have too." He said, and I believed him which made me have to. I gave him a timid lick, just enough for me to know this was real. Then another from balls to head again and again. Finally I took his head into my mouth, tasting the slightly salty taste of his precum. I inched my mouth up and down, taking him in a little more at a time till I found that I don't have a gag reflex. I could feel my penis pulsing in time with his. We were both hard as steel.
He moaned quietly, his hand resting softly on the back of my neck, ever so slightly he applied more and more pressure. I could feel his dick twitching in time to my head bobing. Suddenly he pulled me head off of him. He stood up and grabbed my hand, leading me to his bedroom. He pulled my now sweat soaked shirt up over my head and pushed me on to the bed. He yanked my pants and underwear off as he removed the rest of his clothing. I hadn't wanted to get fucked in my ass but at this point I was his to do with as he pleased. To my surprise he positioned himself opposite of me and began sucking on my cock again in a sideways 69. He grabbed my ass and yanked me toward him, I felt his throat open up as I pushed past his tonsils. Not to be out done I pulled his ass toward me and opened up my mouth to take him in. Completely over come with lust we sucked on each other furiously. To add to the furry we were both pumping our hips jamming our cocks into each others mouths. Despite having our mouths full we were gurgling out moans of pleasure. As I felt the first tingle of cum bubbling in my balls, I could taste more and more of his precum, this sent me over the edge and a torrent of cum burst from my cock deep into his throat, just as he too let loose with his own giant eruption or salty sweet goo. We both kept sucking and ramming our cocks into each others mouths swallowing over and over till we were both totally drained of our cum.
We both lay there for several minuets, erect cocks refusing to go soft. "Again?" He asked. I just rolled back and took him in my mouth as he did the same. We came twice more in each others mouths and once in each others ass before the night ended.
We "hungout" a few more times after that over the years, each time with lustful erotic encounters. Eventually we started dating respective girlfriends. Some times I look back on it and wonder why the hell I did that, not just once but a few times. I think of it as just a curiosity we shared, I have never had a desire to do it again or with any other man. Perhaps just something I out grew, or a taboo that needed to be experienced.

I confess I fucked my ex's sister five years ago! I was living with my at the time girlfriend (we have since broke up) we had a house and all that bs. This is no lie she was a cheer leading coach and her little sister was a cheer leader. She is smoking hot although the first time I met her she was way to young and didnt hit hotness until she was older.

Anyway a few of the girls used to come change at our house before games or whatever nbd. Her sister we will call Emily used to put her make up on in the hall bathroom which if your sitting on the couch you can see right into. I think she figured this out a head of time lol. So she started putting her makeup on and staring at me through the mirror while i was on the couch. Making faces and flirting. I never took any chances on getting caught so I played it cool.

This turned into her coming to the house alone randomly. I had a job that I worked odd days while my girlfriend was at work so I guess she new that and saw the chance. The first time something happened we were all three home and my gf was doing something in another room and emily jumped on my lap and i got hard almost instantly. She grabbed it and said "Holy fuck! what is that" lol I will never forget that.

So then after that event she comes over to lay out one after noon. But comes out in a towel and is acting all pissy and wont talk. So I blew her off. She tanned for like an hour and came back in, no towel this time. She has a sweet toned body. Bcup tits and smooth runners legs. HOT! I have no pictures sorry. So anyway she comes back in and im staring her down and she laughs and says So what do I think? I told her something like come sit on my lap again and ill show you. She walks over in her little black bikini and sits down and we start fucking around. I untie her top and start sucking her nipples as she grinds my dick. I nearly came it was so hot. She then got all worried and said we cant like ten times and ran to the other room. Changed and left. I blew the biggest load in my gfs mouth that night getting a bj thinking about it haha.

A few weeks go by with the occasional flirt and I played it cool, more like I dont give a fuck because thats what girls like haha.

One morning I get up and finish my work out and bs and "Emily" shows up and says she is supposed to be tutoring at a local grade school but is skipping out. We watch tv and she is laying on the floor in some tight jeans, her little ass is so tight god it was hot. She rolls over and asks me if i ever told anybody about what happend and i said no, which was the truth. She then tells me she didnt think it was right for me to be her first! I was like what!? She tells me she had sex with her then boyfriend because she loved him and blah blah. I told her its okay you cant handle me anyways. she laughed and said i think i know that. i asked he to tell me the story of it and she said it was all awkward and he lasted ten seconds. I told her that sucks but she said it was okay because it hurt and she was ready for it to be over.

Then she gets up and says she wants to see mine! I told her not without showing me i can trust her. She strips off her shirt and stands right in front of me as i sit on the couch. she has an unreal body little six pack with nice tits. She said ok let me see. i unzip my pants and show her my rock hard dick. she grabs it and says that is a no! i said why and she holds it to her face then her arm and laughs. she then says her boyfriend wants her to suck his dick but she never has. i say ill show you, haha. i kneel her down and stick my dick in her mouth. she barely fit the head in but eventually gets about 5 of my 10 inches in and i tell her to use her hand placing it just after the head of my dick. now let me tell you she is no pro but it was fucking hot! she sucked me for about ten minutes and i stopped her tore off her jeans and kept her panties haha. i carried her into my bedroom and laid her on the bed and folded her legs up to her shoulders and went nuts eating her bald little pussy. she came almost instantly and after i got her off like 2 more times she said she was ready. i put the head in her and she squirmed back from me. i said oh no now your playing with the big boys and pulled her back to me. i slowly pushed about half my dick in her and im not kidding something popped. idk what it was but she screamed and a tear starting welling up in her eye. i asked if she was ok and she said no, but at this point i didnt care. i pushed her legs fully down on the bed and pushed the rest of my cock inside her and stopped. i held her there until she whispered ok ok i get it its huge!! i asked her if she wanted me to stop and she said no. i slid my dick half way out and slammed it back in. she screamed and got wetter. i started slowly fucking her little pussy looking down at her smooth flat stomach i could see my cock moving in and out. she said ok a little faster so i took that as fuck my brains out. i pounded her pussy like hell. she screamed and moaned and clawed the fuck out of me. i asked her if she was going to swallow for me, she said i can i guess. i let her legs off the bed and just fucked her regular missionary for a little bit, more just pushing all my dick in her and thrusting it deep. her pussy was so tight. i jumped up and flipped her tiny ass on top and said suck like you did out on the couch. she tugged and sucked my dick she loved it! i then said im cumming and blew a huge load in her mouth she tried to swallow it but spit it on the bed. i shoved my dick back in her mouth and said no suck it, finish it right and swallow the rest. she went back to town on my dick and swallowed the second bit. We laid there for about ten minutes and she said her boyfriends dick will be nothing after fucking my "horse dick" lol. I got up cleaned up and dressed. she layed there holding her pussy and saying god it feels like a truck hit it. she looked so hot laying on our bed haha. i told her get dressed she needed to leave so she did. i fucked her like ten more times that year then she moved away to college. I ran into her and she still says im the biggest shes had and wants more. I can work on getting a picture. Thanks for listening. This is a true story and if you dont believe it idc lol.