I seriously want to fuck my cousin.
When we were young, we used to be inseprable. If we weren't at a friend's house, we were with each other. We bathed together, slept together, you name it we did it (except anything sexual).
Lately I have had a serious urge to just fuck her every time I see her or think about her. She has been taking a summer math course, and she asked me for help. All I could think about was her repaying my tutoring with sex. Just today, I went over to the house she was house-sitting to help her study for a test, and I brought a condom. I don't know why but I just told myself to come prepared. (Nothing happened btw).
It's not that I am fully sexually attracted to her, either. It's more the idea of having taboo sex with my cousin that gets me horny. Like if she wasn't related to me, I wouldn't even think of her in a sexual manner at all. And I know she has had sex with her past boyfriends, so its not like she is totally innocent or anything.
The problem is I don't want to force it upon her, or for it to be a blackmail type of thing, I fantasize about it being a completely consensual encounter, where two adults (who happen to be related) decide to have great sex. I just can't see her wanting the same. We come from a pretty close, traditional family (but not overly conservative), but her and I have been the more progressive minds. I just don't know how I could possibly figure out if she thinks about the same thing, if she ever imagines the two of us getting together.
How can I figure it out in a way that would not make family get-togethers awkward? How can I see if she would be up for a fun time without directly making a move, just in case she is totally turned off by the idea?
