When I was 14 I sexually assualted my older borthers girlfriend. She was extremely attractive and in a long term relationship with him. However around this time (uunbeknowst to me) my brother was getting into harder drugs.Presumably his girlfriend was too. On numorous occassions they would come home extremely drunk and have sex in the neighboring bedroom. One night whilist getting a midnight snack i found her completely nude passed out on the living room couch. I was awe struck having never seen a women nude in person, especially one so beautiful. I did nothing at the time but enjoy the view and proceeded to eat my snack in disbelief. This same scenario of her for some reason sleeping nude on the couch happened again and this time i worked up the courage to feel her breast and grope her body and to my amazement she didnt wake.. apparently she was a very heavy sleeper. This went on again another night, this time while she was in bed with my brother without me being detected. Finally one night she had passed out in bed with my brother with the door wide, her open spread eagle with a shirt over her head to block the light of the computer. I again groped her and touched her it went on long enough that i had convinced myself that she was willingly enjoying it because her body was reacting. I put on one of my brothers condoms and began to position her on the bed. Just before i ost my virginity through rape my brother awoke and unleashed a shitstorm of epic proportion, that i now recognize as saving from the worst mistake of my life. I cowarded in shame and regret in my as the reality of what i was doing swept through my veins. My parents and my brother lectured me and explained to his girlfriend what had happened she was slightly incoherent as she woke up and realized what had happened. That night i couldnt look at her through tears of shame and repeated how sorry i was.. but i dont think i ever directly said it to her. She didnt seem to care and went back to sleep, or she didnt exactly cophrend what had happeneded. The last i heard about her reaction was that she was "shooken up" about it the next day. I believe we had a casually talked a few times afterwards.
That was over five years ago and their relationship ended long ago. I fear that what happened may have hurt her much more than she had said. I feel like i cant tell anyone the evil i put on that girl and it is by far my biggest regret. Now I only want to talk to her to see how she's been, and apologize for doing what i did... I just dont how to start.
Replies 9
Just call her and tell her you feel so bad that you didn't actually get to rape her but if she is still doing heavy drugs and passing out you'd love to be her first.
You didn't go to jail so I wouldn't worry about it. I am sure the whore is being raped by some other guy by now.
Too bad he woke up. Stupid trying it next to him though. Should have waited for another opportunity on the couch. Or just played with her quietly, like putting your cock in her mouth or cumming over her. She would assume it was your brother. Grab her hand and get her to stroke your cock from the side of the bed. I've done this many times with someone. Even filmed it once. Came on the bed by her face.
Don't eat yourself up with guilt. You did not actually do her any harm, it was a real pity your brother told her. That did not help anyone, it just freaked her out, but that was not on you, it was on your brother. He and the girl bear a lot of responsibility here. Tey come back to a house with a young boy in it, drunk, and have sex and leave doors open and collapse naked on the couch. They had no right to expose you to sex in this way. They were both very wrong and you were an impressionable child.
Now you feel guilty, but this is because you have not forgiven yourself for a teenage mistake. From what you wrote here, you clearly understand what happened and tht had you gone through with it you would have been wrong. You are now a young man. Forgive yourself and lock this away in your chest of secrets. We all have a chest of secrets, trust me. You have learned from what happened and clearly you respect women
Your wish to speak to her is selfish--you want to alleviate your guilt. It'll do nothing for her. Sorry, you missed your boat on this one and will have to bear it for the rest of your life. Be a better person.
