I confess I love Sprite.

I'm into some pretty kinky stuff, dirty wise. totally shit n piss n puke on myself and have others do the same, and play with it and such. But tonight I realized an enema might be interesting. I grabbed an empty two liter sprite bottle, filled it up with water, and used it to fill myself up. This is all safe right? And what do I do next? Is it okay to add a little red bull or monster to the water? And what else can I do with this?

I day trade for a living (foreign exchange and commodities), and pretty much never go outside at all.

The thursday before last, I decided that I should actually leave my apartment once in a while, and left the exchange to go walk around aimlessly (unrelated: did not actually lose any money, go figure.) I ended up on this huge winding path that goes about four miles through a park with about four full soccer fields and two baseball/softball diamonds with a bunch of idiots playing games for some reason (around 6:00pm)

There were these two girls (shortish, one of them was husky but not fat at all, the other one was smaller, both slimmer and shorter, maybe 5"4' and 5"1'. I have no idea how old they were. Late middle school, high school or even really immature college girls or whatever. Impossible to tell these days. They had breasts.) on the path, maybe there with their parents or their friends who were out of sight maybe in the field or something. I gave them an obvious glance, and just walked by. When I had turned around to go back, they were still on the path, and they decided to say hello while muttering to each other. So I said "hello, pretty girls" in a bored, monotone voice, and struck up a mundane conversation, (exchanged names, told them I was going for a walk because I felt like it, they contributed nothing interesting. Said they were 17 and 16, legal ages in this area) I said that I was going to go get ice cream, and I'd buy for them too if they wanted and they came along somewhat quietly. (both plainly interested in me, but they were somewhat socially awkward, which makes me think they were a bit younger and/or idiots)

Ordered ice cream, it seemed as though they'd never encountered anybody who had a real job and actual money. We all walked the path (I walked on my own, they sorta followed and I didn't convince them to stop) and I said I was going back to my apartment if they wanted to come along. One of the girls said she had to go, and the other one actually came with me.

Showed her my apartment, she seemed impressed by my media set up (which is actually pretty impressive if you don't see trading equipment often) and turned on hbo. She sits next to me, and I put my arm around her and started rubbing her shoulder, while talking to her and trying to keep her from going on about her stupid shallow everything by asking specific questions to get her to talk. I managed to get her to defend her own maturity and personal capabilities in conversation, seems she wanted to impress me.

While she flipped through the channels, I pulled her over a bit, moved my mouth close to her neck and played with her hair with one hand while rubbing her side with my other, and she started rubbing my leg, moving it a bit more. She made a movement away and I think she was getting cold feet and wanted to stop, so I interrupted her, grabbed her and pushed her off me, and offered her something to drink (soda, I don't even drink alcohol or have any at home.) She had a sprite, and then I said "where were we" and put my arms around her, got her to sit facing me, and we started making out.

It got pretty heated, I managed to get her shirt off, and she lay on the couch while I straddled her, my left arm by her waist and my right hand on the back of her neck pulling her forward. I moved my mouth the right, started licking her ear and then moving down to her chest (she but was still wearing a bra, her breasts weren't terribly impressive but I like slim/athletic girls so I was fine with that.) She was really into it at this point, she started breathing really heavily and spread her legs a bit, hooked her left leg around my right leg and put her arms around me.

And then I just slowed right down and stopped, and said "hmmm, what time did you need to get back again." for a second she had the most priceless kinda confused look, and then she was a bit pouty and she insisted time was not an issue, she was fine and we should keep going. I kinda picked her up a bit, braced myself with one hand beside her head, and leaned over her. I straddled over her one leg, and unbuttoned my tshirt. Started kissing her, and rubbing her thighs, with my other hand, moving over until I was just rubbing between her legs until she spread them a bit. She mumbled something but I shushed her, and told her to hold still.

I picked her up a bit we pulled down her pants; I started licking her stomach. She was slitting slumped with her lower half off the couch, and I moved my hands to her inner thies and started licking her clit (she had natural hair, but wasn't a really hairy girl.) I worked her to orgasm, she let out a short moan and tensed up, and she was short of breath. Her pants and panties were still on, but around her ankles. I had an open shirt and my jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped.

I got up and leaned over her and asked if she wanted to go to the bedroom. She was nervous, she said that she hadn't done this "a lot" and was worried about it hurting, so I said that she might not be able to take me without preparing herself first (this was a throwback to some of the things she'd said about her being mature when we were flirting earlier.)

Then I went deadpan, and checked the clock again. I said it was getting late, and that we should pick this up another time. She kinds looked panicked and scrambled to get her clothes back on, and I told her that I was almost always there and she could drop in any time. (did not give her any other contact info, lied and said I didn't have "msn" when she asked about it) I said I'd be waiting for her.

I expected her back the next day or the day after, but I didn't see her. Then saturday, I got a knock on the door and it was the same girl from the previous week. Apparently she was in trouble or something and couldn't come that weekend, and something about school. She was beaming, I let her in, held her hand, and positioned myself behind her. I said we shouldn't waste any time, and asked her if she had been "training" herself, and she giggled and gave some kind of affirmative I couldn't hear properly, and I started feeling her up and nuzzling her neck, while she rubbed me through my jeans. (this was actually the first time she had touched me)

I took her into the bedroom, and helped her remove her clothes. I got her to remove mine herself, and she lay down on the bed. I made out with her, same kinda routine but horizontal this time, and didn't bring her to orgasm with my mouth and hands. She spread her legs, and then I positioned myself and thrust into her a bit. She cried out, but there was no blood or anything. (afterwards she did say it was her first time, and I figured it was) She couldn't take me in all the way, but I thrust into her shallow, with my arms around her shoulders and my hands in her hair, sometimes using my right hand to position her waist from the back.

After the first time, we both lied together and when I got hard again she got a little exploratory, I showed her how to jack me off properly better but she we started having sex before I finished. We had sex a total of four times over five hours, three missionary types and once doggy style, and then we had a shower together. After she was fully dried off, I gave her one of my email addresses and she left, I haven't heard from her in the last two days.

I have a bit of a situation here, and thought I would solicit some advice. Im not completely sure I did the wrong thing, but I may have, and its bugging me a bit.

Heres what happened:

My wife had a business trip to make last week, and as we were loading her things into the truck for the run to the airport, a neighbor came by, walking her dog. Sally and her husband live around the corner from us, a few houses down. We dont know her well, other than from other times like that, when she stops to chat for a couple of minutes. We talked about the usual things, commenting on the weather, etc., and she said something about the suitcase I had just put in the truck. We explained that my wife was headed out of town for work, and her gift to me, since she had to be gone, was to arrange for the kids to spend a few nights with their friends, so Id have a break. We said goodbye to the neighbor and hurried on out to the airport.

I headed on into work and put in a full day, made longer than usual, it seemed by the number of fires I had to put out niggling little things that various staff members called about or came by to discuss. I was so glad to get home to the quiet and settle back with a glass of Scotch and see what was happening on ML.

I had just begun to settle in when there was a knock at the carport door. I set the MacBook aside and went to see what was up. You guessed it standing at my door was the dog-walking neighbor. She was holding a plate and, as I opened the door, she walked right in and set it on the kitchen counter.

Brownies. Just made them. I figured somebody should take care of you while youre home alone. Did you just get in from work?

Im not much on sweets, but I did the right thing and thanked her for thinking of me and said yes, that I was just settling down from long day and was glad to be home. Being generally hospitable, I asked, Can I get you something to drink? I know we have some Coke and Sprite, and maybe a couple of other things. (I wasnt going to offer her alcohol, because I remembered that she was in AA, because we had discovered that we had a mutual friend who was in her group.)

Honestly, that looks a lot better right now, she said, pointing to my Scotch. What are you drinking?

I was a bit surprised, but I figured that she was an adult and could make her choices.

Scotch.

Yum. What kind? She stuck her nose over my glass.

Laphroiag. Its pretty smoky I have some other things you might like better.

No, that smells perfect!

I have to admit I was impressed. It seems that not so many people like Scotch, and certainly not the strong, peaty stuff that I favor. Ten-year-old Laphroiag cask strength whisky cant be beat. Whisky Magazine awarded it Best Single Malt in the World. (I know you think Im off track by now, but this relates to my dilemma!)

Anyway, I poured her a single shot, not wanting to overdo it, given her history. I moved my computer from the chaise lounge where I had been sitting earlier, and we sat down. Sally is easy to talk to, so we sipped and chatted about the weather, work, kids, etc. Shes also pretty easy to look at. Standing probably 57, she has shoulder length auburn hair, a fairly fit body, with nice curves. Im not great at describing women, but you get the picture I didnt mind too much that I was suddenly hosting my vanilla neighbor for an after-work drink. It was actually proving to be better entertainment than I expected. Looking at the way she nicely filled out the tank top she had on, revealing rather larger nipples under the thin, taut fabric, I realized I was getting hard.

I quickly averted my glance from her breasts to her face and found her looking straight at me I had been caught! She gave me a quick wink and turned to take another sip of Scotch. Then she said, Looks like somebodys pretty happy to be here, and stretched a hand over and laid it across the bulge in my crotch!

Oh, shit! I thought, but before I could say anything, she had turned to fully face me, covered my mouth with hers, and began to kiss me passionately as she massaged my cock through my pants. She was quite a kisser, and between that and the work her hand was doing on my, I was as hard as a rock.

Finally, broke the kiss and she came up for air. Maybe taking care of you should involve something better than brownies. With that, she slid down onto her knees in front of me, and began to undo my pants.

Some of you have been in this kind of situation before, I assume. If you have, you realize that once a woman has her hands on your cock, common sense can go out the window. Not only did I not try to stop this supposedly vanilla neighbor whose husband I had never met, but I raised my hips so she could slide my trousers and underwear down and off.

She grinned as she squeezed my cock. It was already leaking old-cum heavily, and as a large drop began to run down the front of it, she darted her tongue out to catch it, looking into my eyes.

Mmmm. Lets see what else this thing has in it, she purred, as she slid her full lips over me, engulfing the head and sliding all the way down. She made only the slightest gagging sound as I hit the back of her throat; she pressed on, and the next thing I knew, her lips were encircling the base of my cock. With my tool completely stuffed down her throat, she looked up again. Her deep brown eyes were wide. She batted her lashes at me and slid back.

I think I can work with this, she said. Lie back and relax!

For the next fifteen minutes she gave me one of the best blowjobs I can remember and Ive have some good ones, many from women on this site. She worked my cock over with her mouth, sliding up and down, augmenting her efforts with expert twists of her hands over my shaft below her lips. Occasionally, she would lick the length of it, from balls to the glans, taking the head in her mouth and swirling her tongue around the ridge of the corona. Turning her head sideways, she slid her wet tongue and lips up and down the front of it, alternately taking the frenulum gently in her teeth, and then sucking it as she ran her tongue along it.

At one point, she stopped to wet a finger and began to work it up my ass, as she continued sucking. With long, slow strokes, she took my entire shaft again and again, while massaging my prostate. It was incredibly intense, and I could tell that the impending orgasm would be huge. My balls felt like they were boiling. I lay back, warmth rising in my chest, watching her at her work. Up and down, rolling her tongue across the front of my cock with each stroke.

Finally, I erupted with huge contractions six or eight strong jets of cum shot into the back of her throat. She kept sucking. Up and down, up and down. As my spasms ebbed and my body began to relax, coming down from its high, she squeezed everything out of me with her mouth, not losing a drop. Not until my cock began to wilt did she release me, giving the head a final kiss and looking up with a smile.

Better?

All I could do for a minute was nod. With a big grin, she said, Good! Ill be over to check on you again tomorrow and Ill have more time to take care of you thoroughly!

We stood up, and I pulled my pants on again and walked her to the door. A nice hug and a kiss, then she was on her way home.

So, heres the question that Im trying to resolve in my mind. Was I wrong to give a shot of Scotch to someone whos in AA?

I am dying to get this off my chest. I can't tell anyone at work even though they would think it was hilarious, but it would likely cost me my job and might lead to criminal charges. So this is my only viable outlet, I'm not looking for praise or criticism, just have to share this and didn't know where else to turn.

My boss is an asshole. I'm not talking about one of those bosses who is kind of a jerk to my you more productive. My boss is just a dick for the sake of being a dick. Rude comments, demeaning language, one guy actually exceeded the boss's set goal by 10% and not a "good job" of any kind. Instead, see if you can improve for next quarter. In a better economy no body would stay. I got fed up and decided karma could use a helping hand. My boss always gets a XL Sprite when he goes to lunch, then he leaves it on his desk when he heads to the bathroom when he returns for his post-lunch shit. Usually gone for about 15-20 minutes. I went into his office with an empty cup drained about half of the Sprite out and refilled it with magnesium citrate. It is a powerful laxative you can get at any drug store. It comes in several fruit flavors, fortunately one was lemon-lime.

I have direct line of sight of his door from my cubicle and after about 2 1/2 hours of waiting I was starting to think it wasn't going to work when he came running out of his office heading for the bathroom. He ran into another employee and both went to the ground. I guess getting back up was too much effort for his abdominal muscles because he shit his pants. It must have run down one of his legs because there was a trail from where it happened to the bathroom door. Of course everyone came to see what the commotion was and laughter soon erupted when some said, "John (not his real name) shit his pants." After about 10 minutes of people peaking over their cubicles at the bathroom door, I went over and opened the door and asked, "John, you ok in there?" as I fought back the laughter. "Get the fuck out!" he screamed back and the office burst out in laughter again, I was slow to close the door so he could hear everyone laughing at him. He must have had his cell phone with him because another 20 minutes passed and his wife showed up with a gym bag, she peeked her head into the bathroom and called out to him then went inside. They both came out a short time later and he left for the day. That was on Thursday, Friday morning I came in a little early and put a roll of toilet paper on his desk with a sticky note that had a message in block letters that read "KARMA." To my disappointment he didn't come into work on Friday, Monday will be interesting.

Having had the weekend to think about it, I think I may have taken it a bit too far. Anybody else ever taken revenge on someone then had second thoughts after you did it?

I confess that I almost always include a shot's worth of my piss in my wife's glass when she asks me to make her a cocktail, usually a reposado tequila with my piss in the glass along with some sprite and oj. She has no clue. It's fucking hilarious. Our bar is around the corner from where she sits to watch tv, so she's never seen me whip it out and give her drink that extra little spritz! And yes, I've thought about making her cum-filled pina coladas some day. Life goals!