Pool Fantasy - for entertainment, not real

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So Friday�..let�s back up to Thursday night. My wife and I had a short time to talk before I had to leave for work. First of all she thinks the husband is cute and indeed wants to fuck him, which I told her was fine by me. She was also surprised my moms actions on Wednesday and couldn�t believe she had so openly enjoyed rubbing lotion on her body while I sat there playing with her daughter. She said I could fun with either or both the girls as long as I told her the details. She also agreed if it ever became a possibility she would like to bed the mom herself. She never offered or mentioned seducing the daughter but I think if the situation arose she would go with it. I told her to try and get off work a half hour early the next day (Friday) and quietly come home. I told her to text me 5 minutes before she gets here. She is to watch us from inside the house for a bit. If there is anything that looks like a compromising situation between mom and me, she is to �bust� us and call the mom inside for a chat where she can let her know she is cool with everything and maybe even seduce mom. The thought of this really turned on my wife as she practically raped me and almost made me late for work.
Anyway Friday afternoon found me laying half awake in my boxers on the bed dreaming of the possibilities. My cock was nice and hard, though still confined, when I see a head peek inside the bedroom door. When she saw I was awake she came on in, followed by her mom, and jumped on the bed with me. She was wearing a short summer dress and as she flew on the bed, it flew up and I saw she was not wearing panties. She sat on me, straddling my hips and I know she felt my hard cock on her ass through her dress. I know because she kind of ground down on it. Mom chided her and told her to leave me alone and let me wake up. I explained I was already wide awake and it was ok. Mom asked if she could get changed and I said sure. While her back was turned going into the bathroom I slid the girls dress out from under her ass so her bare skin was on me and also pushed the hem up to give me another peek at her pussy. My hands came to rest on her hips with the dress bunched up in them. I could not see her mom unless I turned and looked in the mirror (which I didn�t want to do as I was happy looking up the girls dress) but I knew her mom could see me from about the chest down. I slowly rocked the girl, feeling my hard cock slide between her ass cheeks, the only barrier being my boxers. I asked her if she was going to get changed for the pool too and she said she already did. She shocked me by grabbing the hem of her dress and pulling it over her head, leaving her sitting there naked, settling back down on my now harder than ever cock. Her mom got a little pissed and said she couldn�t believe she just did that. The girl said mom you told me I could swim naked today. I know replied mom, but I didn�t expect you to just strip off right here and now she exclaimed. At least wrap up in a towel until we get in the pool ordered mom. The girl got off me and headed to the bathroom, I got up and followed. Once there I said I might as well get changed too and dropped my boxers without waiting for a reply or them to leave. Moms eyes got wide and she licked her lips as my cock sprang free. Oh wow is that what was poking me in the butt the girl asked. I told her it probably was as I gingerly pulled my trunks on as casually as if I were brushing my teeth. Ya�ll ready I asked, snapping mom out of a trance. Oh yeah, I�m ready mom replied huskily, and then changing her tone said um yes lets go get in the pool and cool off. I let them lead the way and said I would go make a couple of drinks and watched them till they were out the door. As usual I made moms double strength, and when I went out and set it on the table she downed half of it in one shot before stripping her bikini top off. I may as well get that out of the way huh she asked. I told her to do whatever she felt comfortable with then got in the pool myself. I couldn�t believe the girl was really playing in the water naked much less that mom allowed it. As usual, as soon as I got in the girl jumped up on me, wrapping her arms and legs around me. Only this time she was naked and nothing in the way of my fingers playing with her cunt or asshole as I supported her in my cupped hands. I bounced her up and down feeling her slide on my hard cock through my trunks before dunking her, running my finger through her slit as I did. As she came up coughing and sputtering I stepped over by mom and dried my hands so I could have a smoke. I saw she had already downed her drink so I asked if she wanted another. She said that might help, so I picked up the cold glass and casually ran it across one of her nipples, watching it harden. You should put some lotion on so they don�t burn I mentioned as I turned to leave the pool.
I dried off and went in to make her drink. Wanting to spend time in the pool rather than going in and out for refills I found an Ice bucket, filled it up and grabbed the bottles and mixer that way I could make drinks poolside without getting out of the water. Standing at the back door I decided to watch for a few minutes and see how they interacted. The girl was wrapped legs and arms around mom like she did with me. Moms hands were under her ass holding her like I did and I had to wonder if her fingers were playing. I didn�t have to wonder long. Mom fell backwards, taking her daughter with he and I could see her hands spread the girls ass cheeks apart and a finger on her asshole. After they surfaced, mom picked the girl up again, finger through her slit and dunked her again. She was mimicking my actions as she played with her daughter. Finally I stepped out and set the tray of mixer on the table and got back in the pool. The girl got on a floating chair while I went over and made mom a drink and talked while having another smoke. I asked if she had put sun tan lotion on and she said no she was waiting for me to get back. Without asking I picked up the bottle and squirted some on her tits. You put it on there so you have to rub it in she told me. Rub it in I did. I made sure to pinch and squeeze her titties and nipples and I could see the lust building in her eyes. I asked her if she minded me taking my trunks off, she said it was my pool and I could do what I wanted in it. What if I want you to take your bottoms off? Like I said it�s your pool your rules she whispered. Take your bottoms off I ordered. She shook her head no. Take your bottoms off or I will do it for you. I can�t she said, shaking her head no again. When she said I can�t I took it to mean that I could do it for her. I took the sides of her bikini in my hands and pulled them down and over her hips. She shifted her legs so they fell to the bottom of the pool and stepped out of them, leaving them at the bottom. I didn�t get a look at her cunt as it was below the water but at this point I began to wonder if I had a submissive on my hands. Think about it, it all adds up. Doesn�t complain, is quiet and goes along with whatever takes place, easily to manipulate. I wanted so bad to be naked with them but thought it best not to push it any faster than I already had. There was no doubt in my mind I could do whatever I wanted with either of them if I didn�t push too hard.
Mom got in a floating chair and I handed her the drink before asking the girl if I could have my chair. She asked if she could set on my lap and I told her sure, anytime. As I got in the chair I managed to pull the leg of my trunks open so my hard cock stuck out the leg hole then helped the naked girl into my lap. I had my shades on so mom couldn�t see my eyes watching her as I slowly begin to stroke the girls chest and thighs. Her eyes were focused on her daughters pussy and I could see her getting more and more tense as my fingers slowly stroked their way up. Finally, as I reached her slit, mom relaxed and licked her lips. As I slowly stroked up and down her slit, the daughter had her head back and eyes closed. I noticed mom stroking her fingernail on a hard nipple in time to my stroking. I shifted positions and brought her up so her pussy was out of the water and began probing at her entrance. Soon I pulled the finger up to my lips and locked eyes with mom as I sucked it into my mouth tasting what little taste there was, as the water had washed most of it away. I dipped my finger in her again and held it out, offering it to mom. I could see the look of lust and want in moms eyes, yet she made absolutely no move other than to lick her lips hungrily. I couldn�t coax her over, so I put the fingertip in her daughters mouth and she gently sucked on it, weather she knew it or not she was cleaning herself off my finger tip. I heard my cell phone chime and I knew it was my wife letting me know she was almost home. About this time mom slowly opened her legs and gave me my first good look at her cunt. Like her daughter, she was totally hairless, but as expected a fuller, more womanly cunt. I told her to do what I do and I resumed rubbing the girls slit, to which she dropped a hand in her lap and started rubbing herself. As I brought my finger to either my or her daughters lips, she brought hers to her own lips. My cock was harder than ever and poking up out of the water between the girls legs, though not touching her. I made sure mom saw me wipe a drop of precum off the head and put it to her girls lips and push it in her mouth. Mom dug her fingers in deep and came as she watched her baby girl taste my precum for the first time. Moms cell phone rang, breaking the magic moment. She answered it with a frustrated tone in her voice. After a few short words she hung up and said her husband was almost home and they had to go before he got there. About that time my wife came out the door wrapped in a towel. Mom was startled and I acted surprised. What are you doing home early I asked her. She asked what I was doing while she wasn�t home with a knowing smile on her face. Mom sputtered and stammered out something unintelligible and my wife told her it was ok, she is not the jealous type. Mom explained to her they had to get home and sorry to leave so quickly. The girl complained she didn�t want to leave and my wife asked if it would be ok for her to stay and swim and we would send her home later. With much pleading from her daughter, she finally gave in but said only for another half hour. The girl jumped off my lap and hugged her mom, thanking her profusely. Not quite the way I wanted everything to go, but I guess we take what we can get. Mom got her suit on before getting out of the pool and my wife complained it wasn�t fair, that she didn�t get to play with all of us, meaning mom basically.
Mom left hastily, not even bothering to change and sure enough not ten minutes later we saw her husband pull up. In the mean time my wife had removed her towel and revealed she was naked as she got in the pool. I decided now was a good time to take my trunks off and the girl cheered that we were all naked. We tossed the girl back and forth to her delight. I don�t know about my wife but I was defiantly taking liberties with my hands. We tired after a bit and moved by the table for a smoke. The girl put her goggles on and began swimming around under water as we watched. My wife was stroking my cock and at one point went under water and began sucking on it. As close as she was, and having goggles on I know the girl could see what was going on as she swam around but she never commented about it. My wife came up for air and said she would finish that later, so I took my place in a chair, as did my wife. The girl got in my lap again and this time my cock was free to press against her slit. She rubbed her hand up and down it pressing it into her cunt and against her clit as I toyed with her tiny nipples trying to get them to come to a point. My cell phone rang and I told my wife to answer as she was the closest and I wasn�t expecting any calls. After a hello and a brief pause she said Oh shit, ok thanks and hung up. She said it was the girls mom, and dad was on the way over to get her and we had to get dressed fast. I put my trunks on and the girls had to run in the house fast as both of them had nothing out here to put on. Sure enough dad came around the corner into the pool area just after the gals got inside. He asked where they were and I told him they had went inside a few minutes ago to change as we were about to send his daughter home. He said he hoped she wasn�t being a pest or outstaying her welcome. I assured him they were all welcome over any time, then offered him a beer. He accepted and we went out to the garage in the back to get one. During the conversation he told me he knew his wife and daughter came over a lot for the pool but if at any time they were a bother, what with me working nights and all, to just let him know. I told him that they were no trouble and while he was on the subject I thought he should come over more and learn to relax. He started to make excuses and I interrupted him and said bullshit. You have time after work and on the weekends, my wife loves to entertain and by God he was going to come over and get entertained. He laughed about it and promised to come over tomorrow afternoon. About that time the gals appeared. My wife had on a string bikini that left little to the imagination and his eyes about popped out of his head at the sight of her big tits and hard nipples. If that�s not a good enough reason to come over I don�t know what is I told him as he stared. The girl was in her dress and I knew she was naked underneath. My wife had the sense to grab one of her suits she had left her, get it wet and put it in a bag to make it look as if she actually came over with a suit. The girl ran and jumped into my arms and my hands went under her dress to support her. And to play with her pussy one last time. I wasn�t worried about dad catching me as he was too busy giving my wife a look over. She thanked me for letting her stay and swim and as I sat her down I let my finger trail through the crack of her ass, pausing to tickle her asshole. We said our goodbyes and my wife escorted them to the gate. After she got back to the garage I handed her a beer and told her about the afternoon and instructed her to get as friendly as she could with the dad. Actually I think I told her point bland to try and fuck him to keep him busy while I worked on mom and daughter. If he was fucking her, he couldn�t complain about me fucking his wife. His daughter might be a different story, but you never know, he might be into that too. By the way, my wife finished that blow job right there in the garage with the door open so anyone driving or walking by could see.
Thanks for everyone patiently waiting for the update on Friday. It is really hard with my new schedule to get things down and ready to post as I want to detail as much as I can. As for pictures with the faces blurred out�Are you freaking nuts? They can be unblurred with the right software. As far as pictures, I will get them and post them when and where i can. Afterall this is my adventure, my pool and my rules :)

It was a Friday evening in late March 2019. My wife was halfway through her two-week overseas trip to visit her brother, and I had the house to myself (except for my cat). Earlier that week I’d texted Jamie to see if she was up for a visit to one of our local XXX theaters, a possibility we’d tossed back and forth since earlier in the year. She and I met the previous October, when a buddy of mine had arranged a gang bang as part of our group’s ongoing activities. Using Craigslist personals, our cadre of six to eight guys, aged 50-plus, had fucked close to a dozen women over the previous year. With that platform’s demise, activity was down considerably, but we’d had one great last party, with Jamie as the target. She’s in her mid-30s, a petite 5’1” and just slightly more than 120 pounds, a natural brunette with dyed-blonde streaks, a shaved pussy, and 34B tits. On that October 2018 Sunday afternoon, five of us guys (ranging in age from 53 to 67) worked her over for the better part of three hours. Every hole was violated multiple times, she had semen leaking out of both lower orifices (not to mention the multiple shots she’d taken down her throat), and her orgasms had easily surpassed the two-dozen mark. Driving her home later that day from the hotel room where we’d done our dirty work, Jamie insisted she’d had the time of her life.

Five months later, I contacted her to ask if she wanted to accept the offer I’d made on that drive home. Jamie returned my text midday Thursday, and I agreed to pick her up the following evening for a night of as much semi-public debauchery as she could handle. It turned out she’d just been released from jail that day, having served five days in the county lockup for failing to appear at a DUI hearing. Subsequently bailed out by a friend, she announced how horny she felt, clearly ready for some action.

She popped into my car wearing a black mesh see-through top (no bra), covered by a light zip-up jacket, plus a black micro-mini skirt (barely covering her ass) and ankle boots with four-inch heels. I asked what she was wearing underneath the skirt, and in reply she grabbed my hand and shoved it between her thighs. “Black crotchless panties. You like them?” she asked. Her pussy was silky smooth and already wet.

We drove over to Circus Cinemas, the XXX movie house in North Denver. The downstairs area is an adult store, featuring tons of videos for sale plus every possible type of sex toy you can imagine. Upstairs there are three theaters, each showing hardcore fuck films. One is devoted exclusively to gay porn, while the other two show a constantly rotating mix of professionally shot hetero porn drawn from studios like Brazzers, Vixen Video, etc. A few years ago, the owners had installed new fold-down stadium-type seats with armrests in between each. The theaters have seven or eight rows of five seats each, but the place rarely has more than 12-18 patrons at any one time.

I paid our $12 entry fee and we headed up the stairs. This place has CCTV with monitors in each theater, so it’s possible for customers to see who’s coming in and whether they’re heading for one of the movie theaters. Women don’t come here often, so the appearance of a female always draws considerable attention. Couples seem to fit into one of three stereotypical roles. Most are there for stimulation, so they come in, watch the screen for 20 or 30 minutes (some sit stoically while others might engage in some light petting), and then split, presumably to return home to fuck while the juices are still flowing. A smaller number are there to show off, gladly allowing those around them to watch-and-jerk while they engage in oral sex. We usually see the girl go down on the guy, suck him dry after a short spell, and then they leave.
The third group, by far the rarest, is where the woman is there to engage with random customers. This almost always involves her performing blow jobs on assorted guys, while her companion either (a) simply watches, (b) finger-fucks her at the same time, (c) either goes first or patiently awaits his turn, or (d) joins in. In all the times I’ve gone to CC, I’ve never seen any full-on intercourse – well, except for that one time a truck-driver type fucked a cross-dresser in his ass.

Jamie was clearly ready for us to be part of that third group. We slipped into Theater One, where she promptly led me down to the front row. Most of the action takes place in the darkened recesses of the back row, but it’s a cramped space. Jamie clearly preferred the front, where there were no obstacles for anyone to approach her. It was 7:30 on a Friday, but the place was pretty empty. I counted five guys in both theaters, and none of them seemed ready to hit on Jamie. She slipped her hand into my sweats –I’d worn sweatpants commando-style, anticipating the action to follow – while I reached over and started to play with her pussy. After about 15 minutes of this, and with no one coming forward she said, “Let’s get out of here and head over to Pleasures.” On our way out, she talked me into buying her a pint-sized vibrator from the bargain bin, which would come into play much later that evening.

West Colfax in Denver is an old Jewish neighborhood that is now mostly Hispanic. A fixture at King & Colfax is the old Act I & Act II porn house, which was bought out a few years ago by the folks who operate multiple Pleasures adult stores around town. They remodeled the place, which mostly involved splitting the two big theaters into five mini-ones, and thankfully solved the problem of the place always smelling like piss. It’s a pricier entry fee ($24 for a couple), and they’re adamant about two things, both of which were told to us several times while I waited for the cashier to hand over my change. No unaccompanied women – ever – and couples are required to stay together the whole time.

We walked through the entry door into a dark corridor lined with viewing booths. Another aspect of this place is the melding of an old-time porn theater with modern booths, each with its own video screen and hundreds of XXX movie options. Your ticket price includes unlimited viewing over a six-hour period, although I’ve never seen anyone’s ticket checked to see if they’re overstayed their welcome. There must be 40-50 booths in all; some have doors that lock on the inside, but most are fairly open. The hallways wind around in a way that you almost wish you’d brought some breadcrumbs to scatter so you can find your way out again. This place was far better attended, and Jamie certainly attracted a lot of attention as we worked our way toward the east side of the building and its multiple mini-theaters.

Each theater shows a different porn genre, and it’s marked on the doors so you know what to expect. Only one runs pure hetero porn, though, and that’s where we were headed. It’s the theater farthest from the entrance, with two rows of five padded theater seats WELL PAST their sell-by dates, plus fairly spacious aisles all around the block of seats. Jamie again led me to the front row, but this time we had plenty of company. The first guy, around Jamie’s age, wasted no time in unzipping his jeans and pulling out his semi-hard dick. She tugged on his trouser leg to urge him closer and immediately sucked him all the way into her mouth. Then she wrapped the fingers of her right hand around the base of his shaft while working her lips around the cock-head, meanwhile reaching over to me with her left hand and grabbing my wrist. She pushed my hand in between her spread-apart thighs, and I responded by shoving two fingers into her pussy and pressing my thumb against her clit.

This first guy lasted maybe three minutes and pulled out just as he was coming. Some of his semen landed on her outstretched tongue, but most got deposited on her chin. Before she had a chance to wipe it away, however, a much older guy (mid-50s?) jumped in front of her with his pants already down around his ankles. She went to work on him immediately. Meanwhile, I climbed down off my seat and knelt as close to her front as possible. Once she realized what I had in mind, she twisted toward me while pushing her companion over to the other side. This gave me much clearer access to her pussy, and I took full advantage. I did everything to her that she liked, with two fingers deep and up against her g-spot, my tongue flicking her clit and occasionally sucking on it hard between my lips, and pulling out my fingers to replace it with a rigid tongue. She loves to have her asshole worked as well, but with the narrow confines of the seating and the fact she was sucking off a guy who partially blocked my full access to her crotch, that was one maneuver that would need to wait until later.

Old Guy neatly shot his wad down her throat and got replaced right away by some hefty Hispanic dude. I kept eating and fingering her pussy, and she rode up against my face through three or four orgasms plus a total of four blow jobs to completion. My knees were getting sore, so I stood up just as Guy No. 4 (a chubby white guy in his 20s) blasted her face. At that Jamie was ready for a break, so I helped her up and scraped most of the jizz off her chin before feeding it to her. The crowd of guys, which had grown to about 15 from the time we’d started, let out a collective “Ooh.” She called out to the group, “Don’t go too far, boys. I’ll be back shortly.”

We found our way through the maze to one of the bathrooms, and I locked the door behind us as she sat down to take a pee. “Did you bring any condoms?” she asked. I admitted to be holding half a dozen, so she smiled and said, “Oh, good. Let’s go back and see who wants to fuck.” As we walked into the mini-theater to return to our seats, Jamie stopped short and confronted the same old guy who’d been her second oral customer. “You’re still here,” she stated rather than asked. “You got enough left to give me a good fuck?” He appeared speechless and could only nod, so she grabbed hold of his shirtfront and half-dragged him behind her as she made her way to the front row again. “Give him a rubber,” she instructed me, so I did and then went to lean against the side wall to watch what came next.

Jamie reversed herself and knelt on the sagging theater seat, halfway leaning over the back while spreading her legs. Old Guy dropped his drawers to display a reasonably erect dick, tore open the condom wrapper and expertly slipped it on. He leaned up against Jamie, trying to find the proper height to allow him entry. Meanwhile she reached down between her legs and helped guide him into her pussy. There was a bit of confusion and halfhearted thrusts as they tried to work out between them who was going to do what. But they eventually fell into a satisfactory rhythm, and Old Guy gave her everything he had. The room was quiet except for the XXX video playing up on the big screen, so it was possible to hear clearly the guys grunts as he thrust forward, the slap of his thighs on her ass, and the moans coming from her mouth as she rubbed her clit while getting fucked.

At this point the room was pretty full of guys. Most of them had their dicks out and were stroking them. Off in one corner I noticed, for the first time, two fairly hefty cross-dressers who were clearly T-gurls, complete with breasts on display by their low-cut outfits. The smaller one was on his knees, sucking some skinny guy’s cock. Meanwhile the larger one – at least 6-4, 275 – pushed away a couple of guys who were standing in the row behind Jamie. I later learned s/he went by the name of Brittany, since as we were leaving an hour or so later, Jamie made a point of collecting a phone number. Anyway, Brittany stood right in front of Jamie as she was getting fucked, waited a beat or two to size up the situation, and then moved those feminine garments aside to reveal a massively thick cock. Without saying a word or waiting for Jamie’s reaction, s/he pulled Jamie’s head forward with one hand while guiding that dick between her lips with the other. The sight of her choking on that monster may have been too much for Old Guy, because he quickly finished up inside her and withdrew.

Jamie forced her way off that cock and asked Brittany to fuck her. S/he grunted by way of reply and went to the front of the room. I offered up a condom as s/he passed by, only to be told in a high, lispy voice, “No thanks, I’ve got my own.” Brittany ripped open a Magnum, worked the latex over the massive cock-head and down the impressively thick shaft, and took Jamie fairly brutally. S/he grabbed Jamie’s buttocks and lifted her up off into the air, which was the only way Brittany could achieve full penetration without kneeling on the floor; that’s how much of a height difference there was between them. This repositioning forced Jamie’s head down to the bottom of the seat, her face plastered against the faux-velvet-covered seat back. Brittany pounded her mercilessly for at least 40 or 50 strokes before letting out a most unladylike bellow and freezing in place while “her” cock pulsed inside Jamie’s pussy. After withdrawing, Brittany spun Jamie around and stuck that jizz-covered dick into her mouth. Jamie calmly licked it clean and then tilted her head back so she could drain the cum from the used condom she’d grabbed out of Brittany’s hand and suspended up above her face. Those still assembled (literally) gave her a standing ovation.

As all good actors know when it’s time to leave the stage, Jamie decided the conclusion of her encounter with Brittany was the perfect exit line. She stood up, somewhat shakily it seemed, pointed to the jacket she’d shed so that I knew to grab it, and then took my hand as we made our way out of the theater. Knowing I hadn’t gotten much of Jamie’s attention so far, although I’d enjoyed the show immensely and was proud to have used my oral skills to make her cum multiple times, as we headed toward my car she said, “Let’s go back to your place and try out some of those toys you told me about. I can’t wait to run my new vibrator over my clit, and my ass needs some serious Zac-attention.” But the rest of the evening’s activities will have to wait for another time to be told.

My wife’s visit to the doctor made me very horny.
My wife is an Arab hijabi. We visited the gynecologist today. A male one. It felt very sexually arousing for me my wife spreading her legs and a man fingering her pussy as I watched. He even fucked her pussy with a dildo (vaginal dilator) for “treatment”. My dick got very hard as he was pushing it deeper in her pussy as she screamed and kept crying. He didn’t care and kept fucking her deeper. She kept begging him to stop and that she can’t take it while I watched. It was so hot. He even made her hold the dildo and fuck herself as he and I watched. P.S. This is not a fantasy. And this was supposed to be a treatment. Not some porn setup. And it’s a treatment in a way. I know for the doctor it was just another patient and nothing sexual about it. But for me it was so arousing seeing this happen to my hijabi wife while she was wearing her hijab.

Believe this or not. I lived it. While it was mind blowingly legendary at times, it got equally as bad. I have had on and off again sexual flings with both of my identical twin stepdaughters. Before anyone freaks no i didnt have sex with them when they were under age. There was thoughts from me and them but nothing ever went that far. The first twin happened pretty much without build up or warning. She tripped me and jumped on top of me essentially r@ping me. Not that i was complaining. I had wanted her for a long time. She was 23yo. Years of built up frustration combjned with not knowing if it was gonna be a one time thing... I made sure i got the best bank for the fuck... We went at it all night over 6hrs taking inly 2 short breaks to pee and chug water. 69, to bj to eat pussy to eat ass to fuck pussy to fuck ass. Pretty much once we hit all those we'd start over in a different order. I nutted 6 times that night... Not sure how to count hers like an automatic riffle going off at times to a very long drawn out cum over 5min straight. She even squirted. That was 15y ago. Weve smashed a handful of times since. Now the other twin... Took a bit of patient effort but i finally nailed her about 5yrs later. Thats a whole different and still ongoing story. Now its not all fun. There was a lot of bad... Getting ratted kut to my wife, jealousy between sisters and mom and daughter led to violence more than once. Jealousy with their significant others led to violence. Both twins and myself went down a path of addiction we continue to struggle with. All in all would i do it again... Probably just not go to the lengths i did to get where i got 

This Saturday, I fucked my wife's friend.

I hate to, but I have to digress, so you can see the whole picture. We are all in our 40's, and she is her friend for a long time, since college, she was even a brides maid at our wedding. She is short, a bit stubby, but a cute blonde, married as well.

She is a serial cheater, and she admitted this to my wife, has been cheating on her husband for over a decade, but only few years back admitted this to her. I actually never thought of her in a sexual way, until I heard those stories. Then, when I rewind some situations from before, she would always be super touchy with me, hugging me tightly, I remember more than once, thinking how good her breast feel against me when we hug, but I honestly just thought she is this way, nothing sexual about it.

So, I started playing with her a bit, touching her hips, while passing by, complimenting her when no one else is around, and it was obviously working, but, I didn't really think on acting on any of these, that was just a way to have some fun.

This Saturday evening, she just showed up at our door, with a bottle of wine, in a denim shorts and checkered shirt. When I told her my family is on a weekend trip to my in laws, and that I had to stay because of work, she acted all surprised, and pretended to be ready to turn back. There is no way she didn't know they were going out, they talk and text 24/7.

I waited for her to make the move, and she wanted me to be the one, but I was patient. After I opened a third bottle, she just jumped on me.

I went down on her, and stayed there for a long time, until she came, twice. Then we did it in a spooning position for a while, until she climbed on top of me, pushing her tits in my face. That is when she came for the third time.

I lasted long, probably because of the booze, but when I was close, I warned her, because I was ready to pull out. At those words, she jumped off of me, and put it in her mouth, sucking it furiously. I was so close, and I wanted to nut in her mouth, but when she got off, and started licking my balls, while stroking me, I shot two, giant, fountain like spurts, straight in the air, most of it landed on me, but some ended up in her hair.

"We are not telling her anything, ok."

I just nodded, still fazed by what just happened.

I know this was risky, and I know that there is some chance that one day, she might confess to my wife, but I just have to hope that she won't, because not only that it would end our marriage, but their friendship as well. That being said, I am never doing this, ever again. But oh, man, it was hot.

So some of you may have read my previous post about my security guard fuck buddy from work.

Well i have recently found another one. Doctor. Older, divorced, and fun as fuck.

So, here is the deal. I flirt at work. A lot. I am a walking HR issue. Any comment that can be construed as dirty, I will pounce on it. Someone bumps into me I will laugh and bite my lip while I look at them. Sometimes this works, most of the time it doesn't.

With the Doc, it worked.

At first I thought it wouldn't. He comes off as very uptight. But I still messed with him. Because I'm horny, and I don't give a fuck.
The first positive sign I got from him was at the station one night. He had made his rounds and was returning to make some instructions and notes. I was next to the pass that leads into the station, bent over and helping one of the newbies with an admit. The way I was bent, I was blocking the pass.
He moved to get in and I playfully backed up, pretending I didn't see him.

He said something like 'Excuse me' but I kept talking to the newbie, and winked at her a little. He said something again, and I just shifted my weight.
Suddenly there was a sharp slap and a pain on my ass cheek. He had popped me with the binder he was carrying.
I was ready, I knew what to do. I turned to him, and bit my lower lip and said "Mmmmhmm" As the look of shock began to take shape on his face, I went to the next step. "Oh my god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, lol. I did that out of reflex." As he slid past me he stopped.

"Reflex?"

"Yup. Sorry." and I grinned at him turning back to what I was doing, making sure to bend over for him, my scrubs clinging to my butt. I could feel him looking.

Before we go on, I'll tell you a little about Doc. Doc is older, 50 something. Tall, thin build like a vegan. He is always clean shaven with the manscaping that you would make the most fastidious homosexual blush. His hair is plentiful and jet black. The kind of jet black a 50 year old only gets with the help of chemistry. He is handsome, yet distant. His brown eyes seem to look disinterested at everything. I had never seen him smile, until our very next encounter.

It had been a few days and I was back on days, thankfully. I was in my little cubby entering data into the spam logs when I became aware of someone in the doorway to the cubby. I looked at it was Doc. He was just standing there. I was caught a little off guard and at a loss for words.
He looked for a moment and asked to see the log for a patient. I knew something was up. The docs never ask me for the logs they get access to it from the online portal when they need to.

I decided to play along. I pulled the log up. He leaned in, close to me. His face next to mine. I could hear his breathing. Shaky, like he was having a hard time controlling his breathing. He looked at the screen without speaking for almost a bit too long.
"Interesting." he said finally and he stood up.
I decided to though him a lifeline. "Hey, Doc, I wanted to tell you I was sorry about the other day. I was just messing around."
He laughed. "Are you married?" he asked.
"Yes." I said, holding up my hand.
He shook his head. "Flirting is a bad habit".
I turned back to the screen. "What people do not know doesn't hurt them." I said.
He just smiled and walked away.

Over the next few weeks, we continued to chat. Followed the same pattern. Start off about something work related. Then a comment or two that was personal, and then it would end. I was sure he was incapable of advancing the ball.
Then I went back on nights.

Doc was making his rounds, and I was in the spam cubby. On one of the screens, a warning popped up. Looked like a lead was off. It wasn't uncommon, but it did mean I'd need to go down the hall and reattach it. I shuffled off down the hall, turning into the room with the bad lead. Standing next to the bed, looking right at the door, was Doc.
"Hey." he said.
"Hey." I replied. "Bad lead." I said.
"Oh. At least he's asleep."
I moved up to the bed, but instead of going to the patient, I stood in front of Doc. "Yeah I said."
We stood there for an uncomfortable moment.
Fuck it. "Doc.."
"Yeah?"
"Kiss me." and I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.
Wordlessly, he moved in and I felt his mouth on mine. I opened my mouth, greedily accepting his tongue.
Wow. He was a good kisser.
He moved his hands on my body, and used his mouth with practiced skill. Ten seconds. Twenty. A minute.
Finally, we stopped. Without a word, I moved to reattach the lead.
I felt his hand on my ass. Rubbing it. Oh yes, this was going to be fun.

Finished, we kissed some more. His hand went down the back of my scrubs and into my panties. He grabbed at my ass. Hearing a cart coming down the hall, we broke apart. I left as quick as I could.

This went on for the next week. We would meet in a room, make out. I would jerk his cock, he would finger me. I wanted him bad. his cock was nice. Not long, but thick. Difficult to close my hand around. One night, after making out and returning to the station, he asked me if I always went home after work. I told him no. He nodded.
"Would you like to come by my house"
"Fuck yes."

On the drive, my pussy was soaking. I could feel the butterflies that I loved feeling in my stomach. The anticipation of being fucked. Someone new. A new cock. A new mouth. New tricks. All of it. I was craving it.

We pulled into his driveway, and i was not disappointed. He was a fucking doctor, after all. Beautiful house. A little on the McMansion side of things, but better then the rental I lived in. Stone and wood on the outside, and inside, lovely furnishings. But something was amiss.
No woman lived here. There was dust where there shouldn't be dust. Pillows on the couches were stacked haphazardly. Cups of diluted, flat coke sat in various places around the house.

As we walked in, I asked him where his wife was.
"Gone" was all he said.

We went into a wine cabinet and returned with two glasses. He sat in his chair. I sat on the couch next to him. He poured the wine. A nice red.
We talked though the first glass.
When he poured the second, he told me to stand up.
I was tingling.

(yes here comes the fucking)

He motioned me to stand before him. "Strip" he said.
This began to make me uncomfortable. I like to fuck, but I know I'm fat. My full body is not something I like to show off. But I had come this far, and his voice was so commanding.
I slipped out of my scrubs, panties the bra.
"Move your hands. Put them at your side."
i did. My face burned with redness.
"You shave."
"Yes".
He pulled his cock out. Without another word, I moved to my knees, and took him into my mouth.
He grew quickly. The thickness I had felt before made it difficult to get him in my mouth, but I tried. I felt his hand on my head, and he began to apply pressure. I moaned, letting him know that I wanted him to be forceful.
He complied.
I felt him going further with each stroke, the salty sweat from the days work was gone, washed clean by my mouth. I forced my head down on him. I choked. Coughed. He stopped. I gently moaned.
I pulled my head off, letting it fall free.
"It's okay" I gasped before plunging my head back down on him.
"Oh yes. The spanking. Makes sense now." he said.
I felt his hand on my head turn into a fist. A handful of my hair in it. He began to pull and push with it, taking control of my movements.
He was fucking my mouth.
i loved it.
Too soon, he stopped and stood. "Undress me."
I did. Pants first, then shirt. Standing, he resumed fucking my mouth. i plunged my fingers toward my clit.
I was sopping.

He stopped again. Pulling me off, I returned to lick and suck his balls. I looked up at him. He was smiling. "You are good at this. Are you a whore?"
I nodded.
"Follow me." We walked up the stairs, and into his room. He directed me to the bed, while He retrieved something from the nightstand. I lay down, but he told me all fours.
I complied and he pushed my head and shoulders down.
I heard a flick and a buzzing.
A toy. Oh what fun.
I felt his head. He was rubbing it on my pussy, then up to my ass, then back down.
"Have you ever been buttfucked?"
"Yes"
"Too bad."
His head stopped at my pussy and I felt him pushing it in. Steady, he was in me, balls deep. Wide and filling me. He pulled out, then slammed home again.
I felt the cold plastic on my ass.
I moaned.
"Ask me."
I said nothing.
He stopped fucking me.
"Do it."
"Please." I said. "Buttfuck me."
He started to push the toy into me. At first I thought it was just a butt plug, but it went deeper.
Finally it found a resting place and the fucking began in earnest. his fucking became more and more violent. Slamming into me. His fist returned, grabbing a handful of hair. He pulled with each thrust. Not too much, just enough.
I came. It was sudden. The build up had only just started before it soared and reached the tipping point. "Fuck....omg fuck me!" I cried.
"You whore.."
"I am your whore. Fuck me."
i felt his pace change slightly, and felt his cum. "You married whore" he said as he came. Pumping his semen deep into me.
He pulled the toy out of my ass, followed by his deflating cock. I collapsed into his bed. He Remained standing.
"10 minutes."
"What?"
"You have 10 minutes. Then I want you out of my house."
I sat up.
"Next week. You will make time for me. Again. No panties at work any more."
"Okay." I was wanting him to fuck me again already.
I stood, and suddenly he kissed me. Just like the first one. Love and lust mixed.

Oh yes. This was going to be fun....

Anyone familiar with couples counseling?  Woild like to talk with someone about my wife's affair.  Prefer another male who is patient and inquisitive but  knowledgeable about female desires and sexuality.
She stopped seeing her lover but as I've learned more details,   my reaction to her infidelity is evolving in ways I did not anticipate.  Pm newguy595

My wife tied up and waiting patiently...

Good morning everyone this is a video of my wife last night. I sent patiently in the backseat while she throw fucked. This young guy that she has fucked once before it was so hot, listening to the sound of her gagging and the sound of him moaning as she took his cock all the way down her throat. I felt like a fly on the wall. It was so hot. I will put the results in the comments.

I'm so fucking mad at myself here goes.

I've wanted to fuck my best friends wife since he started dating her. Its always been clear that I do I've never tried to hide it and I've flirted with her every time I see her over the years. Last night me and my buddy were drinking on his porch so I asked why not invite his wife out for a drink. After a few minutes she came out in a robe and said "I started to come out in what I was wearing under the robe only cause you of all people would love it." So I grabbed the string and opened it.

She was wearing a pink bra and matching thong neither one of them covered anything. About 10 minutes went by and she said she wanted a drink so I made her a long island ice tea. The first thing she said was I don't know if i should drink this the last time i did i ended up in a threesome. The night continued with the usual drinking and acting stupid with my buddy. I don't know how it happened or even when but he said she agreed to give me head while he was fucking her.

I flipped out with happiness it was all going so good we all got in bed he slid her panties off and asked if I wanted a taste I dove right in. It was amazing it was how it always seemed like it would be. Then it happened.

The urge to puke from all the vodka came rushing to my throat I ran to the door and puked 3 times. They were patient they new I had drank a lot so i cleaned myself up and went back to their bed where he was fucking her from behind. He told me to get under her for the best blowjob of my life the excitement came back I hopped in bed and she started sucking my dick. Then it DIDN'T happen.

She sucked and sucked and tried so hard but my cock would not get hard. To top things off after about 10 minutes of her sucking I had to run back outside and puke again.

I know this is a boring confession but I had to get it off my chest I will never drink heavy with a woman in my presence again. I have puked 3 more times this mourning and haven't even been able to jack off thinking about it. I hope it happens again I need a chance to redeem myself.

Life, the Universe & everything.

Quotes from Douglas Adams, one of the funniest guys that ever lived.

RIP 1952 - 2001.
So long, & thanks for all the books.

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

"Arthur hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realised there was a contradiction there and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.”

“Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“God puts an apple tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden and says, do what you like guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha." It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it... because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.”

“He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.”

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”

“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”

“I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.”

“If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.”

“If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.”

“If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.”

"INFINITE: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that, in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow, that's big" time. Infinity is so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.”

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”

“It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.”

“It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.”

“It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made p******** should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

“It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.”

“Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.”

“Life is wasted on the living.”

“Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of.”

“Many words and expressions which only a matter of decades ago were considered so distastefully explicit that, were they merely to be breathed in public, the perpetrator would be shunned, barred from polite society, and in extreme cases shot through the lungs, are now thought to be very healthy and proper, and their use in everyday speech and writing is evidence of a well-adjusted, relaxed and totally unfucked-up personality.”

"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.”

“That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.”

“The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.”

“The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”

“The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phase, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?”

“The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.”

“The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

“The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.”

“The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.”

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.”

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

“This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”

“Time is bunk.”

“Time, we know, is relative. You can travel light years through the stars and back, and if you do it at the speed of light then, when you return, you may have aged mere seconds while your twin brother or sister will have aged twenty, thirty, forty or however many years it is, depending on how far you traveled. This will come to you as a profound shock, particularly if you didn't know you had a twin brother or sister.”

“We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!”

“We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.”

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.”

“A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.”

“It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear.”

“If on the other hand he went to pay his respects to The Door and it wasn't there...what then?

The answer, of course, was very simple. He had a whole board of circuits for dealing with exactly this problem, in fact this was the very heart of his function. He would continue to believe in it whatever the facts turned out to be, what else was the meaning of belief? The Door would still be there, even if the Door was not.”

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ...”

“Men were real men, women were real women, and small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small, furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Spirits were brave, men boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. Thus was the Empire forged.”

“You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon

airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in

deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me

when I was young!

Why, what did she tell you?

I don't know, I didn't listen!”

“...was there a reason behind it? There would be no point in asking... he never appeared to have a reason for anything he did at all: he had turned unfathomably into an art form. He attacked everything in life with a mixture of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence and it was often difficult to tell which was which.”

“Anything that happens, happens.

Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.

Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.

It doesn’t necessarily do it in chronological order, though.”

“Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”

“Who is this God person anyway?”

“On the way back, they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms.”

“Well I think we've sorted all that out now. If you'd like to know, I can tell you that in your Universe you move freely in three dimensions that you call space. You move in a straight line in a fourth, which you call time, and stay rooted to one place in a fifth, which is the first fundamental of probability. After that it gets a bit complicated, and there's all sorts of stuff going on in dimensions 13 to 22 that you really wouldn't want to know about. All you really need to know for the moment is that the Universe is a lot more complicated then you might think.”

"`...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.'

`But the plans were on display...'

`On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.'

`That's the display department.'

`With a torch.'

`Ah, well the lights had probably gone.'

`So had the stairs.'

`But look you found the notice didn't you?'

`Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".'"

"`Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.'

`Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'"

"`This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, `I never could get the hang of Thursdays.'"

"Pages one and two [of Zaphod's p********ial speech] had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it."

“this is obviously some strange usage of the word "safe" that I wasn't previously aware of.”

"`You'd better be prepared for the jump into hyperspace. It's unpleasently like being drunk.'

`What's so unpleasent about being drunk?'

`You ask a glass of water.'"

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.'"

"There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are `Why are people born?' `Why do they die?' `Why do they spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?'"

"The fronting for the eighty-yard long marble-topped bar had been made by stitching together nearly twenty thousand Antarean Mosaic Lizard skins, despite the fact that the twenty thousand lizards concerned had needed them to keep their insides in."

"`We've got to find out what people want from fire, how they relate to it, what sort of image it has for them.'

The crowd were tense. They were expecting something wonderful from Ford.

`Stick it up your nose,' he said.

`Which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know,' insisted the girl, `Do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?'"

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.”

"Ford grabbed him by the lapels of his dressing gown and spoke to him as slowly and distinctly and patiently as if he were somebody from a telephone company accounts department."

“Arthur's consciousness approached his body as from a great distance, and reluctantly. It had had some bad times in there. Slowly, nervously, it entered and settled down into its accustomed position.”

"His eyes seemed to be popping out of his head. He wasn't certain if this was because they were trying to see more clearly, or if they simply wanted to leave at this point."

"There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind."

"`You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?'

`Really?' said Arthur. `No I didn't. For what offence?'

Trillian frowned. `What do you mean, offence?'

`I see.'"

"`She hit me on the head with the rock again.'

`I think I can confirm that that was my daughter.'

`Sweet kid.'

`You have to get to know her,' said Arthur.

`She eases up does she?'

`No,' said Arthur, `but you get a better sense of when to duck.'"

"The beak was a major piece of armoury. It was a beak that would frighten any animal on earth, even one that was already dead and in a tin."

"`Could we perhaps take a snake bite detector with us to Komodo?'

`Course you can, course you can. Take as many as you like. Won't do you a blind bit of good because they're only for Australian snakes.'

`So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly, then?'

He blinked at me as if I was stupid.

`Well what do you think you do?' he said. `You die of course. That's what deadly means.'"

"Mark turned and asked a passenger behind us if these planes ever crashed. Oh yes, he was told, but not to worry - there hadn't been a serious crash now in months."

"Virtually everything we were told in Indonesia turned out not to be true, sometimes almost immediately. The only exception to this was when we were told that something would happen immediately, in which case it turned out not to be true over an extended period of time."

"Komodo dragons sleep headfirst in large burrows. It is a very, very, very bad idea to even think of pulling its tail."

“Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody -- maybe even disliking them a lot -- and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire. It was a difference which kept the vast majority of the population alive from day to day.”

“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own laws.”

“The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place.”

“The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end.”

“One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works--you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis.”

“For thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across - which happened to be the Earth - where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.”

“The technology involved in making anything invisible is so infinitely complex that nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand million, nine hundred and ninety- nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety- nine times out of a billion it is much simpler and more effective just to take the thing away and do without it.”

“Since this Galaxy began, vast civilisations have risen and fallen, risen and fallen, risen and fallen so often that it's quite tempting to think that life in the Galaxy must be (a) something akin to seasick - space-sick, time sick, history sick or some such thing, and (b) stupid.”

“It wasn't his job to worry about that, though. It was his job to do his job, which was to do his job. If that led to a certain narrowness of vision and circularity of thought then it wasn't his job to worry about such things.”

“All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.”

“Computer, if you don't open that exit hatch this moment I shall zap straight off to your major data banks and reprogram you with a very large axe.”

“I think all cats are wild cats. They just act tame if they think they'll get a saucer of milk out of it.”

“Look, would it save a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

“Now, either you all give yourselves up now and let us beat you up a bit, though not very much of course because we are firmly opposed to needless violence, or we blow up this entire planet and possibly one or two we noticed on our way out here!”

“Rome wasn't burned in a day.”

“The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along.”

“The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making.”

“There is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially.”

“Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.”

“We are not an endangered species ourselves yet, but this is not for lack of trying.”

“Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters, which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.”

“If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil does.”

"Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in..."

"...he was at least twice as unbalanced now, and quite liable to fall off whatever it is that well-balanced people are supposed to be balancing on."

"In his dreams he was walking late at night along the East Side, beside the river which had become so extravagantly polluted that new life forms were now emerging from it spontaneously, demanding welfare and voting rights"

"Busy executives often didn’t have time for a full-time wife and family and would just rent them for weekends."

"It was impossible for Arthur to know this, but he just went ahead and knew it anyway."

"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."