(Parody of The Night Before Christmas written by Clement C. Moore)

T'was the fright before Christmas. No one upset me
With a big bowl of popcorn, watching TV

I stretched, gave a yawn, settled back in my chair,
In hopes that St. Nicholson soon would be there.

The children were lying awake without sleep
They'd seen all his movies. He gives 'em the creeps.

I'd cued up Cukoo's Nest with my trusty remote,
To the part where he had all the nuts in the boat.

When out in the yard there arose such a noise,
I turned off the TV to see what it was.

And what to my wondering eyes should approach?
But the Los Angeles Lakers and Pat Riley, their coach.

The limo was racing; the team at it's heels.
That's when I saw him the man at the wheel.

He ranted and cursed. Waved round his swizzle stick.
And I knew in a second it must be Jack Nick.

More rapid than the Celtics, these Lakers they came.
He screamed like a madman and called them by name:

'Now Magic, now Worthy, now Scott and Kareem
On Cooper, on Rambus, and the rest of the team.'

Down the chimney St. Nicholson came with a groan.
Then he brushed off the soot and said, 'Honey I'm home!'

He was wearing a trench coat. With beer it was stained.
And shirt clawed to shreds by Shirley McLaine

He had a fat face, and flabby beer belly
From too many trips to the bar and the deli.

'It's tough when an actor becomes fat and lazy.
I only get calls to play weirdoes and crazies'

And middle-aged has beens with washed up careers.
But I'll fix 'em all and play Santa this year.'

And with that he buried his head in the sack
And said, 'Let's see what you get from your old buddy Jack.

'A hatchet for Daddy,' he reared back his head,
'To scare all those little buggers upstairs in bed.

'And a stiff drink for Mommy, in a nice tall glass.
She could really use something to kill that bug up her chimney!'

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his face,
He threw all the stockings into the fireplace.

What could I do? What could I say?
What would I wear on my feet Christmas Day?

I asked for a reason, and turning his head,
He looked straight at me, and here's what he said:

'Why? Do you wanna' know why? Do you really wanna' know why, Pal?

'I'll tell you why. When you're out Christmas shopping. You know, doing your little Christmas things with all your little Christmas friends, spreading all that Christmas cheer with those stupid Christmas songs. Did you ever stop and think of picking up a little something for old Jack, huh? Did you ever stop to think of what Jack might like for Christmas?

'You know, Jack, from the movies, up on the big screen? Pouring his heart out, giving it everything he's got, day in and day out, just trying as hard as he can to bring a tiny little bit of sunshine into your miserable, little hum-drum lives. Did you ever think of good old Jack, huh, for a second? No, not once! Maybe old Jack just wasn't that good, huh? Maybe I wasn't good enough in The Postman Always Rings Twice. Acted my guts out for you in that one! Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, Witches of freaking Eastwick, Prizzi's freaking Honor! All for you pal, just to brighten things up for ya!

'Not good enough though is it? No, you want me to brighten up the Christmas season too, huh? Isn't that what you want, Pal?

'Okay, let's make things real bright around here! What do you say we decorate the tree? String up these pretty lights here! Oh, she's looking brighter already! Why don't we take this cute little angel and ram her on the top branch huh? Ha ha ha! How about some gasoline for the whole freaking thing? I mean let's make her just as bright as she can be! What do you say we light her up, and chuck her through the old picture window here, huh, pal? No sense in having a tree as bright as all that and not giving the neighbors a chance to see, don't ya think, huh?

'There, aren't you glad old Jack stopped by? Huh, huh, huh? Ha!'

The flames towered brightly in the cold wintery sky,
As he made for his limo and bade his goodbye.

And an age may unfold ere I fail to regret
That visit from St. Nicholson. Which I'd sooner forget.

But I swear by the goose bumps upon my skin
That I'll always remember that devilish grin.

And his voice crying out ere he faded from sight,
'Merry Christmas to all, and I hope I never see you again as long as I live, for crying out loud!'

I have only ever creampied one girl. And it was someone else's girlfriend.

So here's the story: Back when I was a senior in high school, I played football with a guy that wanted to see his freshman girlfriend get fucked by another guy. I wasn't exactly "best buds" with the guy, but we had been teammates for the last 4 years and I guess that was enough to make him feel comfortable asking such a thing.

His girlfriend was the type of girl that was extremely sexy in an innocent, naive type of way. The type that would get hit on because of her sheer beauty (which I will get to in a minute), but the kind that guys wouldn't pursue too hard because her lack of overt sexuality made her seem like a prude, and a waste of time for those looking for a quick lay (which is most of us guys, especially at that age). In fact, you wouldn't even expect her to know the first thing about sex, which actually wasn't too far from the truth. According to her boyfriend, he had only just taken her virginity a few months before, and he was attracted to her for much the same reason as I was in the sense that he loved the idea of corrupting her innocence.

Now back then, this really wasn't something that was as appealing to me as you might think. I had only been with a few other women, none of them were ever that much younger than me, and I felt a little guilty about this plan to "corrupt" an innocent girl. This all changed, however, when he showed me the blurry camera phone picture of his girl sitting up naked, spread eagle on her pink bed sheets with the most embarrassed look on her face. I knew this girl was beautiful before, but considering she never went out of her way to look very sexual or wear anything revealing, I was stunned at the body she had been hiding all this time. The first thing that floored me was the sheer size of her tits. For a girl that hadn't even turned 15 yet, she was 5'2", no more than 115 lbs., and was sporting 34Cs that seemed to defy gravity. Couple that with a tight body; a nice plump, firm ass; and a gorgeous, shaved slit; and I was sold.

In the interest of keeping this from getting too long, I'll skip ahead a bit. But essentially I told him I couldn't do it with him watching, at least not the first time; it would be too weird. He agreed it was fine for us to be alone as long as we video taped the whole thing so he could watch it later. We ended up at her house after school, with the place to ourselves. She seemed very nervous, and started telling me how she hated that her boyfriend wanted her to do this. I immediately felt guilty and said we shouldn't. That I would never want to do anything she wasn't comfortable with. With that statement, she looked me deep in the eyes, jumped on me, and kissed me harder and more passionately than I had ever been kissed before. We made out for what felt like 20 minutes. The kiss itself was so sexual that it was almost satisfying by itself. She finally got up, turned the camera on, placed it on the dresser, and seductively walked back over to me.

"Take me. I wan't you. Right. Now," she said climbing onto my lap and getting closer to my ear in a whisper with each word. With that, I couldn't take it anymore and I ravaged her. Clothes were thrown about; I devoured her perfect, pink pussy; and she sucked my cock like a pro, never very deep, but putting in the effort to gag and continue to try for more. It was perfect. When it finally came time to fuck her, I reached for a condom and she stopped me. She told me to just fuck her without it, she wanted to feel me. I fucked her in every position imaginable and she seemed grateful for every thrust. I finally ended up on top of her, her legs wrapped tightly around my back, and my arm under her lower back and ass pulling her up into me. In turn she was pulling herself up into my cock with her hips and legs. She was working my dick and grinding into me just as much as I was fucking her back in return. I couldn't take it anymore and told her I had to pull out and cum. She clenched me tighter with her legs and begin to buck up into me harder. I thought maybe she didn't hear me and began to panic I wouldn't pull out in time. I reiterated that I was "GOING TO CUM!".

With that, she looked me directly in the eyes and responded, "So do it then." That was it. I began to cum like I had never cum before. Squirt, after squirt, after squirt; I filled her up while her body convulsed and we came in rhythm with each other. With her clinging to my body as hard as she could. Eventually we both collapsed onto each other and lay there motionless for at least ten minutes before either of us moved.

I remember finally sliding out of her and watching my cum pour out onto her pink bed sheets. I was a much better image than the blurry camera phone pic that didn't include my cum dripping out of her and pooling between her thighs. It was beautiful. We jumped in the shower, and cleaned off, and I headed out before her parents got home.

The next day, I got a call from her boyfriend. I expected it to be him telling me how insanely hot everything was and to thank me for helping out. Instead, he was furious, yelling something about how I was never supposed to cum in her, etc, etc. As I came to find out, she had apparently NEVER let him even fuck her without a condom, let alone cum in her. And apparently she wasn't big on sucking his dick either. Could have fooled me based on the exceptional head she gave me.

They ended up breaking up immediately after and she told me that was really her plan. That she was over him and she had fallen for me that night. The rest of the football season was a little tense to say the least, especially since I spent the rest of my senior year fucking and filling this girl with cum AT LEAST 5 times a week until I finally left for college.

We still keep in touch some 8 years later but no longer live near each other (multiple states away). I have seen her a few random times over the years here and there and fucked her, and she swears I am still the only guy that she has ever let cum inside her. Who knows if that's true or not, but what I do know is it is still the most passionate sex I have ever had in my life and she is still insanely beautiful and kept much of her reserved, innocent charm. If we lived closer, I'd probably make her my queen in heartbeat.

Sorry if that story got a little long. I've never retold that story before in such revealing detail, and I guess I got carried away in the memory. I hope you all found it enjoyable.

ever since i fucked some girls for the first time, with that look of pain and discomfort on their faces, i have found it to being my fetish. i've been dating my girlfriend for about over a year now and shes gotten used to my size and girth. i remember the first time we tried to have sex and when she seen my dick she laughed in disbelief and said it was huge and said we should take it slow. the first 3-4 times we had sex she couldnt take it and had that look on her face but now she loves it and im finding myself not being turned on having sex with her

this fetish started back when i was in high school. i was having sex with girls who were younger, the same age or older than i was, but all had that look on their face

i even had sex with my figure skating instructor. yes i figure skated alright, it did great wonders for my skating abilities in hockey and a great way to get ready in the off season. i had to wear tight-ish pants for figure skating, im guessing she saw my bulge. i was 17 and i think she was 20 or 21. she invited me a couple of my team mates to a party at the marina and we hooked up from there. i recall her friend telling me why we were invited. i loved seeing her beautiful ass jiggle when i fucked her from behind

but now im 29 years old and getting bored of my gf, im not a scumbag and im not going to cheat on her. i cant take the break up or go on a break route because things are great between us, besides the sex thing

anyone know of any amateur videos like this? where the girl has a hard time taking a big dick? none of those guys with the prosthetic dicks

are you interest to animal sex than !

feeding dog is solution. i saw one of girl on cyber world talking about how she sex

when it comes to mating season to male dog usually horny they grab some things with two leg

start moving their hips towards backwards . some of master do favor using towels

but many of them just spend doggy cut their ball out not to reproduce babe

one of girl found solution to her timezone of horny dog mating season

dog usually attract to girls pheromone whatever spicies it is

they start on licking mmm.. tasting but they like to taste more barely

they sometimes take panties off to lick freely and after they satisfy when girls make right position

they tries to insert their huge horny dick and they bark if girls not accepting his mating not to dog who knows who are master

but there's noob dog actually dog are not that smart .. yeah and start stick two leg stands with other two back leg

start moving .. and when they reach pussy small holes they move crazily cum full filling

make all his penis in banging with two ball covered with fur

they don't stop whatever girls shouting trys to move doggy out when they finish

they bark bark start licking girls lips and lick creampie filled pussy lead organism again

and make girl to be their mating organs changes virginia shape to their dick until

that girl become slave of doggy cock

Barbeque Skills

My ex and family members loved my grilled salmon.

[Salmon is an oily fish. So if you overcook it a bit then it's no problem. It doesn't get dried out quickly like other meats will. It's almost hard to fuck up.]

A decade before that a lot of guys gave me props for my grilling skills.

[A lot of guys would come over to the house because my sister was very attractive. They were happy to be there. And they'd have given me props if i gave them McDonalds.]

My point is that i don't really have "Barbeque Skills!!!" I am very limited! I know a basic thing or two.

And if someone sent me the worlds greatest marinade or barbeques sauce then i'd be afraid to use it. I fear that i'd fuck it up.

Context: Someone gave me some great barbeque Marinades/Sauces. And will be going back to that person seeking specifically how to use these products. If I need go get some pork chops, steaks, onion and/or whatever then that is perfectly fine and I’ll be grateful for the advice.

My current "go to" barbeque is seasoning thighs. cover them and oil. Sear on Barbeque.

Take off the grill add to a casserole dish with sweet sticky barbeque sauce. Bake slow and low at 350 or so.

chicken thighs

YellowPotatoes 56

Kind of difficult to fuck up, methinks.

Warning: This post will not help you masturbate. 99% of you will find it very boring and feel that my comments don't belong here.

I've been here in since 2009. One of my all time favorite cam shows was a cooking show broadcasted live from Puerto Rico. I've had Latin dishes with sazon seasoning before. But i never seen anyone use the seasoning like he did.

So , again, hats off to STOICBUDDHA. He is the goat.

Having said that i'm just going to heat up some onions while chatting with folks in hangout.

I always liked to tease, and in a way, that is why I am here in the first place.

Little back story, I am 50, married, and my husband and kids have no idea, that from April till the end of October, I go to the nude beach, near our house, and spend hours there. Since I work online, with overseas working hours, when they are all away, at work, or at school, I go there, alone, soak up the sun, and male gazes.

When I met my husband, while we were dating, I tried introducing him to this, but he was jealous of all the looks, and he told me he is against it. So I stopped, until things in my life aligned in such way, that I could organize this little pleasure of mine.

I love the looks, men of all ages flaunting their business around me. From time to time, there is a brave one, who would sit close, touch himself, with restrain, but usually, those who want to show off, start off the conversation, and love standing close to me, as I am sitting, or laying down, and swing their erections in my line of sight.

I can't really explain what I get from this. I do not get horny, as one would think, I just enjoy the feeling of being watched.

Last year, somewhere in late June, this young man started parking his towel close to me. He was there every day, and I remember thinking, that he looks too young to be there, Of course, he wasn't, since it is a closed beach, and no one can enter it without showing ID.

He wouldn't get his eyes off of me, and I remember feeling beautiful, knowing that someone who is 18 or 19, wants to feast his eyes on me. And his boner was an obvious sign, that that was the reason of him being so close.

After a week or two, he gained the courage, to touch himself. That is frowned upon, so he did it, while on his side, facing me, and he would stop when someone would come around. I didn't watch, besides a few glimpses, but that was the first time I felt genuinely horny. I never posed for men there, but I started for him, turning the right way, to give him more of a look, smiling at him, when I saw what he was doing, while turning, or getting up...

In mid July, I was always masturbating, as soon as I got home, thinking of him.

It turned into a game of sorts, my entire day was filled with anticipation, thinking, what will tomorrow bring.

One day, late August, the beach was almost deserted, since the weather was changing, there was a bit of rain in the morning, but I still decided to come. Weather didn't really clear up, there was no sun, but still fine. He came, and we were almost alone, apart from a few people passing by the water. I saw he was bolder than before, said hi, sat closer than ever, and just went to town with his business. I was looking straight at him, biting my lip. I wanted to touch myself, but I was, and still am, too much of a coward.

This lasted for more than an hours. At the end, he got even bolder, got up, and stood over me, while continuing touching himself. I have never cheated on my husband, nor have I ever cheated on any of my previous bf's, but at that moment, I was overwhelmed, so I pulled up, and took him in my mouth.

He exploded, immediately, and I really had no option, but to swallow. He was shaking, with whole of his body.

I guess he felt some kind of shame afterwards, because he picked up his stuff, and went off. I was afraid he might not come back, but few days later he did.

We never got to have such an encounter, until the end of the season, but we started talking. He asked for my number, but I declined, explaining him that that is not what I am looking for.

The season ended, but in a month or so, the new one will begin. I sincerely hope, he will be there.

Cleaning out the garage at my in-laws after my father in law passed away. My mil told me I was welcome to keep anything I wanted, tools/sporting equipment/ fishing gear/ etc. there was a large toolbox, shoved in the back with a few hand tools, but the bottom compartment was locked, and we couldn’t find the key. So I just took the toolbox home and drilled out the lock. Now I know why it was locked. There was a hole stack of hustler mags and playboys, but even better than that there was a stack of cds. Most of which was bootleg pornos, but when I was checking them out there was one labeled in red sharpie that said bonanza season one. I started to just throw it away with the rest of the disks but I am so glad I didn’t. Apparently, that was his way of disguising the CD with pictures he had taken of my mother in law over the years. I’ve known for years that he was a bit of a perv but I didn’t know much of a perv my mil was also. I’d kinda like to show her off on here if anyone wants to see.

Former 'That ‘70s Show' star Lisa Robin Kelly dead at 43

Former That ‘70s Show star Lisa Robin Kelly has died, according to her agent.

As reported by TMZ, Kelly, 43, passed away in her sleep on Wednesday night at a rehab facility in California.

“Lisa had voluntarily checked herself into a treatment facility early this week where she was battling the addiction problems that have plagued her these past few years,” said her agent Craig Wyckoff.

Born in Southington, Conn., the blonde actress had lead a troubled existence once That ‘70s Show went off the air in 2006.

In August 2010, Kelly was arrested in North Carolina for driving under the influence, for which she plead guilty and was sentenced to 12 months of unsupervised probation.

In March 2012, Kelly was arrested in Los Angeles on a felony charge of corporal injury upon a spouse following claims that she beat up an ex-boyfriend. The L.A. district attorney later declined to prosecute.

In November, 2012, Kelly and her 61-year-old husband Robert Gilliam were both arrested and charged with assault following a disturbance at their home in Mooresville, North Carolina. Both were released on bond.

And two months ago, Kelly was arrested again when California Highway Patrol responded to a call regarding a parked car blocking a freeway lane. Kelly failed the field sobriety test and was charged with DUI.

On That ‘70s Show, Kelly played Laurie, the promiscuous older sister of main character Eric Forman (Topher Grace). She left the show after five seasons with the explanation that her character was attending beauty school. The Laurie character was replaced by actress Christina Moore for the show’s sixth season.

In an interview with ABC News, Kelly said she left the series to deal with her personal issues. “With That ‘70s Show, I was guilty of a drinking problem, and I ran,” she said.

Sources told TMZ that Kelly had been in and out of rehab centers in recent years in an attempt to kick her alcohol problem.

Kelly recently fell off the wagon following a dispute with her estranged husband, Gilliam, who was arrested for assaulting her in May, 2013. Gilliam was convicted of domestic battery last month and sentenced to three years probation.

According to her agent, Kelly was attempting to restart her career when she passed away.

“I spoke to her on Monday and she was hopeful and confident and looking forward to putting this part of her life behind her,” said Wyckoff. “[On Wednesday] night she lost the battle.”

The official cause of Kelly’s death has not been announced.

Karen Smith lay back on her beach towel, clad only in a skimpy red bikini, and thought, "This is the life." She had landed in Ibiza two days earlier with her son, Kurt, for a three-week holiday, just the two of them. It had been an especially rainy season in London and they were both ecstatic to be getting some time in the sun. Karen typically wore one-piece bathing suits but her ivory skin was so starved for color that she decided to pack nothing but bikinis, a fact that hadn't escaped Kurt's attention.

At 42, Karen looked stunning, especially compared to Kurt's friends' moms, most of who you would never care to look at naked. But not Karen. She was often compared to Sophia Loren, and she knew that the compliment men were giving her was, "I bet you'd be dynamite in the sack." Her shoulder-length chestnut hair still shimmered in the sun and her long, shapely legs were the envy of all of Kurt's friends. Her 36D chest never needed padding to fill out the prim and proper suit jackets that she typically wore to work as a real estate broker, and more than one client had taken the opportunity to cop a feel whilst they were alone in a flat. Kurt's father had been nothing more than a sperm donor and for Kurt and Karen's entire life, their relationship was just that of mother and son. Recently, however, they had become more like friends.

"I'm heading into the water for a bit, Mom, don't burn," Kurt said, standing from his towel and removing his sunglasses.

"Okay love, don't wear yourself out," Karen said with a sly grin.

Kurt Smith was an athletic 22-year-old whose average height belied the above average dick that he carried with him. It gave him a confidence that most girls were attracted to, and he always enjoyed the look on their faces when they spied his member for the first time.

He hadn't had a girlfriend for a few weeks, and accordingly, was staring at even more girls than usual. On this particular day, however, the sunny cove where they were sunning themselves had only one other family further down the beach.

As Kurt bobbed in the salty Mediterranean water, he looked back at shore and saw only his Mom.

"Fuck me," he thought, "have her tits always been that big?"

The red spandex strained to contain her large orbs and the contrast between her pale skin made the bikini glow even brighter. She stood up to stretch just now, and turned around looking at the beach bar, giving Kurt a perfect view of the cleft of her ass. The bikini had ridden up while Karen was sitting down so that it looked almost like a thong.

"I'm getting turned on by my own Mom," Kurt thought. "How sick. I mean, I know she's got a great body and there's nobody else around but c'mon, we've lived together for so long, am I really getting hard over her?"

But he was. Under the cool water's surface, Kurt's cock was growing ever larger, and he could not take his eyes off of Karen's heavy tits, barely supported by the flimsy red material. He knew that as soon as he could get his hard-on to subside, he would have to make a beeline for their villa and jerk himself off, hard.

For her part, Karen was fantasizing herself about how long it had been since she had had a good fucking. Being a mom was no longer a big part of her life with Kurt being a man, but she still could not find much time to meet quality men. It wasn't even the companionship that she longed for, but more the lurid side of sexual intimacy with a man, any man, that she craved. Holding a cock in her hand as it filled with blood and grew, the firmness it got when she tugged on it...these were things she could have with any man, and they would fulfill her sexual desires, but it was still an effort.

"I'm heading back to the villa, Mom, you need me to bring anything back for you?" Kurt broke Karen from her daze as he toweled himself off.

"No, thanks, I'll probably come back in a little while too," she said. She noticed that Kurt looked especially good today, the bright Spanish sun shining off of his sculpted chest. "If only he weren't my son," Karen thought, "I would definitely let him fuck me. Too bad that's such a hangup, that adults can't service each other sexually if they both need it."

Her pussy tingled at the thought of having their big villa together for three weeks, fucking one another on all of the furniture, in the bathroom shower, on the terrace, doggy style in front of the sliding glass door.

"How nice would that be," Karen thought, "to be able to satisfy each other's cravings and then get on with the day. I'm sure we'd both enjoy the vacation a lot more. Society.."

Kurt was barely in the door before he stripped his swim trunks off and laid back on the bed in his downstairs bedroom. Karen had chosen the master bedroom upstairs so that they would have a bit of privacy, even though there were two bedrooms on the ground floor.

"It's too bad there weren't more girls at the beach today," Kurt thought as he gently squeezed his still damp cock. "That Swedish woman from last year was the hottest thing ever."

Kurt thought back to the previous year's trip when a mature Swedish woman had set up her sun umbrella next to his. He was at the beach alone that day and feeling talkative, so he struck up a conversation with the Swede. The mother of three was in her 50s and had some lines of age on her face but her smile was dazzling and her blonde hair almost platinum, which made her deep tan even more alluring. As the day went on, they both became overheated and went down to the water together.

After floating a few feet from one another and obviously flirting, Kurt tentatively reached out to touch her waist. The mother flinched at first but then smiled broadly and brought Kurt's hands up to her large breasts. They sagged slightly in her bikini but she was completely uninhibited and swung her body around without regard for how much her tits moved, and Kurt found it very erotic. Floating in the ocean, they groped each other's bodies for a long time before going back to the sand and making out on their blankets.

Kurt moaned as he stroked his rod and continued to think back on the mature blonde woman, unaware that a mature brunette was listening to him. Karen had decided to come back to the house early for a drink, and she heard Kurt's heavy breathing as soon as she entered the villa. Seeing his trunks on the floor through his doorway, she knew he could only be masturbating.

"Oh my God, even my own son can get some relief, I wish it were easier for me." Karen threw her sarong onto the couch and slipped into a pair of high heeled espadrilles she had by the door. Their cork bottoms allowed her to get right to the edge of Kurt's bedroom before he would hear her. She didn't have any plans, but was just going by instinct.

Karen's calves were flexed from the high wedges, and she had beads of sweat sliding down the insides of her thighs. Her breathing was more ragged and she noticed with utter certainty that her pussy lips were tingling noticeably. Her son's masturbation was arousing Karen.

"If it were just as easy to use his cock as a dildo, and frig myself, then I could just...use him, and he could use me, we could both cum, and get back to life!" She was actually thinking that it sounded like a good plan, but she wasn't sure how Kurt would take it.

"If I'm matter-of-fact and a little insistent, what 22-year-old WOULDN'T like to be serviced on vacation?!" She pushed her breasts so that the nipples were closer to the inside border of her bikini top, and the dark areolas were showing. Karen stepped to the edge of the doorway.

Kurt was now pumping harder, his glans head wedged firmly on top of his fist. Eyes closed, he was moving his hips so that the bed shook slightly on the tile floor.

"Ahem."

Kurt heard Karen's noise, his eyes flew open, and he started to scoot to the top of the bed.

"Whooo, Mommm, I didn't think you'd be back so soon. Ahhhh."

"It's okay Kurt, I know what men your age do, it's not a big deal." Kurt's mom put her hand on the door jamb to seem casual and crossed her legs at the ankles. "Believe it or not, women have those needs to, they just don't talk about it. But even me, your Mom."

Kurt thought about his Mom having sexual needs and it couldn't help but put an image in his head of her being fucked over the back of a couch, hands gripping the pillows while someone, maybe him, entered her from behind again and again.

"I guess so," Kurt said. He had one hand over his crotch but his stiff member was still so engorged that his hand couldn't cover the entire thing. Kurt looked his mom over now for the first time and his eyes glazed over with lust. He thought, "I know she's my Mom but I was just in the middle of jerking off and my mind is still on sex and, fuck, would I love to mount her right here."

As if she was reading his mind, Karen stepped gingerly towards her son, her hips still cocked to the side from the angle of her tall shoes.

"Okay Kurt, I'm going to be really blunt here. We're alone for three weeks and it's going to be really difficult for us to concentrate on having fun and living if we're both sexually frustrated, do you agree?"

Kurt gulped but nodded his head in agreement. "Where can she be going with this?" he thought.

"So," Karen said walking to where Kurt's knees hung over the edge of the bed, "why don't we come to an understanding." She squatted so that her face was level with Kurt's hips, her big tits suspended in mid-air for her son to gawk at. The mirror at the foot of the bed allowed Kurt to see his Mom's ass too, as she bounced slightly on her haunches.

"Why don't we just say that, while we're here in Ibiza, we can do whatever we want to each other. Sexually." Karen licked her lips, the sexy mature woman now certain that this was exactly what she wanted.

"'Sexually'?" Kurt stammered. "So, what do you mean, DO whatever we want?"

"We tell each other when we need relief, and we use each other's bodies to get that relief. No judgments, no guilt, no awkwardness or hiding around." Karen's hands were roaming her body now, feeling her breasts and pushing them together as if in anticipation of what her son was going to do to her.

"Well...I mean, I would love to, but are you sure?" Kurt asked, smiling. "I get horny pretty often and usually jerk off three or four times a day."

"That's fine, Kurt, if you need me to service you five times a day, that will work too." Karen closed her eyes while she spoke and reached around behind her to undo her bikini top. "I might need you to...FUCK...me, every night if you can handle it." Karen drew out the word 'fuck' to gauge the impact on her son and it rightly threw him for a loop.

Kurt moved his hand from covering his cock and began stroking it again. "I think I could use some help now if you wouldn't mind, Mom."

Karen grinned and crawled onto the bed on all fours, her wedges still on her feet. "That's fine, son, don't worry. Mommy will take good care of you."

And with that she used her left hand to push Kurt's chest so he was flat on his back, and with her right she grasped his cock, her own son's cock, and began pumping it.

"Is this alright?" Karen asked innocently. "Is it okay if I suck on your cock? Suck on it until I make you cum in my mouth? Would you like that?"

Kurt was shaking now, his cock so ready to be serviced. He had needed to cum since he saw his Mom's big, full tits on the beach and had been jerking off for a few minutes before he came home. He needed his Mom to suck his cock and he needed her to deep throat it.

"Deep throat my cock, Mom." Kurt said uncertainly. "Please."

Karen laughed an evil laugh. "Don't say 'please', son. When we're servicing each other and helping each other to cum, treat me like a slut. That way it will be more of a separation between our normal time and our fucking time. We don't want you getting hard thinking about fucking your Mom's pussy in the middle of dinner."

And with that, Karen leaned down, her brown hair tussling over her son's stomach, and engulfed the length of his thick shaft in her hot, wet mouth. She hummed and moaned as she slobbered up and down on his slippery tool.

Kurt moaned loudly with ecstasy. "Fuuuuck, Mom, that's so gooood!" He shut his eyes and put his hands on top of his mother's head as she gulped up and down on his dick.

"Fuck his dick is so HOT!" Karen thought. "Not just big and smooth but actually physically WARM!" Her pussy was drooling already just thinking about having it inside of her. Her own son, Kurt, would soon have his dick buried inside of his mother. Karen swooned and blew her only child with renewed vigor. She was determined to suck him off quickly so that he would know how good she could be. She wanted to be a good dirty slut for her boy.

"You like that?" Karen asked in between slobbers. "You like your slutty Mom blowing you, Kurt? Sucking on your cock in your own bedroom? It's so naughty but I think we both know that we need to be helping each other cum on this trip, don't you?"

She went back to his dick with all of her attention, using one hand to stroke her son's dick up and down, the other to squeeze and cup his balls.

"Yeah Karen, suck it, suck my fat cock," Kurt said, getting into the spirit of his Mom's game. "Make me cum in your mouth, I need to cum." "Call me 'Mom'" Karen said, stopping just long enough to look her son directly in the eyes so that he knew exactly what it was they were doing. Getting a blowjob from his Mom.

"Mom, keep sucking my dick. Suck it now you slut." Kurt smiled even as he said this rudest of instruction.

Karen laughed and went back to work, servicing her son's dong. Kurt then grabbed her ass and slapped one of her cheeks, hard.

"I've wanted to do that all day," he said. "Here, swing around so you can sit on my face. I want to taste your pussy, Mom."

Karen couldn't believe it, her swollen lips needed attention badly and she was thrilled that her son wanted to eat her pussy.

"Ohh baby, that would be amazing. I'm just going to move around," Karen worked her hips and swung her knee over her boy's head so that they were in a perfect 69 position, her snatch just above Kurt's mouth and her own mouth still locked onto his dick.

"That's it, c'mon, sit on my face, Mom. I want to lick your pussy."

Karen obliged and moved her knees to the side so that her wet pussy was smashed onto her son's face.

"Ohhhh," she cried out. "Yeah, that's it, eat Mommy's pussy. Shove your tongue all the way into Mommy's little cunt hole." Karen squirmed around on top of her son, sitting back on his face so he could get as much of his mouth around her sopping pussy as possible.

"Keep sucking me, keep sucking my cock, Mom!" Karen had her lips at the base of her son's cock, tonguing the length of it. She was happy to suck his dick all day but she needed it's hardness inside of her.

"Okay, now it's my turn." She crawled off of her son's face and walked into the living room. Still wearing her heels, she bent at the waist and leaned over the couch. "Just fuck me, Kurt. Fuck me hard, and fuck me as fast as you like."

She wagged her ass back and forth and Kurt thought he might faint before he got to her. Sliding up behind his mother, Kurt aligned his hips with hers and guided his dick between her drooling pussy lips.

Karen shuddered as she felt her son's big thick cock slide inside of her. She leaned backwards and slammed her ass against Kurt's pelvis. The shock made him shuffle his feet but he soon found his footing and began moving back and forth more easily.

"Oh fuck, Mom! Your pussy feels so fucking good!"

"Much better than jerking off?"

"Fuck yeah, so much better."

"Good. Any time you want to fuck me, you can fuck me. If you want a blowjob, ask me, and I'll suck your cock. I just want to milk the cum out of you whenever you need it, and in return, I want you to fuck my pussy when I need it. That's only fair, isn't it?"

Kurt was into it now, drops of perspiration dripping onto his mother's pale back. He reached underneath and squeezed her utters together, still barely believing that he was inside of his Mom, fucking her with abandon. It was unreal that earlier in the hour, they were sitting side-by-side and not touching one another.

"You like it, don't you son? Fucking your mother? Fucking her wet pussy without caring who sees it?"

Karen abruptly pulled Kurt's cock out of her pussy, turned around and slapped him across the face. He could hardly believe what was going on but Karen was still smiling that devilish grin. She walked over to the couch and kneeled, sticking her ass up in the air.

"Come fuck my cunt, son. Fuck your mother's wet cunt until she cums. Can you do that, son? Do you mind shoving your thick cock inside my sopping pussy until I cum? You can just use me, you know. Use me like a fuckdoll, if you wake up in the middle of the night and need to get off, come into my room, lift my nightdress, lather your cock up with some spit and fuck me."

Kurt scrambled around the sofa and climbed onto the couch, placing his feet on either side of his Mom's knees. He braced himself on her lower back and slid down, impaling her sodden quim onto his stiff prick.

"I'm going to fuck you at least twice a day, Mom, I just hope you're okay with that."

Karen moaned and leaned back, not believing that her pussy was filled completely by her son.

"Just keep fucking me. When we're tired we can go back to the beach but for now, I just want you to get off. Just fucking use me to cum like some kind of slut."

Kurt fucked and fucked until he felt like his balls were going to explode.

"I'm going to cum now, Mom. Gonna cum, where do you want it."

Karen was frigging herself madly, not wanting it to end but wanting to see her son get off even more.

"When you're about to cum, pull out and cum on my face. I want to suck the last drop of cum out of you."

Kurt grabbed his mother's hair as he pumped furiously into her dripping pussy and at last felt like he was going to cum.

"Ahhh, I'm gonna cum!"

"Cum baby, fuck your Mommy and cum on her face. I'm such a fucking slut for my son's cum, cum in my face!"

Kurt pulled out as Karen spun around, still drooling from being fucked so hard. She stuck her tongue out and licked whatever part of Kurt's dick wasn't being jerked and he began shooting rope after rope of cum over Karen's beautiful face. Karen was finger fucking her cunt and began squirting all over the floor at the same time.

The scene was surreal as mother, still in heels and bikini bottoms, pulled to the side, rubbing herself madly as her son towered over her and shot his hot cum all over her pretty face.

At last, Kurt slumped onto the couch. "Wow. That was fucking unreal."

"Just wait until dinner," Karen said throatily, sliding her finger over her face to wipe the cum off. "I think we're going to have an interesting few days." She laid on her back, her big tits flopping to the sides, and began contemplating the next place she wanted to fuck her son.

i hooked up with a deaf girl from the bar a couple of nights ago, i noticed her earlier that night, i went to go get a drink and bumped into her at the bar, i didnt know she was deaf at first when i said hello, she reads lips, says she likes my teeth and smile, says her being deaf and reading lips is what attracts her to that area, me and my 2 buds hang out with her and her friends and shoot some pool and later went back to our place, everyone leaves but she stays, we "chatted" using microsoft word (should have saved our convo) end up going into my room, she has the cutest titties, B cups i would guess and a cute little ass, this girl was tight, she moaned pretty loud and kind of weird but i was turned on by it, she didnt really give good head though, but experienced my first rim job, awkward feeling and yes i was at a bar on a monday night, living off employment insurance, the life of a seasonal fire fighter, work from April till late September, decent job, in that time i make between $43'000 - $48'000