ACCIDENTALLY INGESTED BREAST MILK - WTF?!
Last night I hooked up with this African chick, mid 20s, single mum. Quite big and with a massive ass, Kenyan ass to be specific and massive tits as well.
Overall it was an easy conquest, she was really really keen to meet up for a while. For a big girl with a kid her pussy was quite tight and she was extremely wet, to the point that as I was naked on top of her my cock slid inside of her with no assistance. 

I also ate her massive ass and made sure to tell her it was so big that I couldn’t breathe, she claims to have never done anal, however my tongue slid in very very easily and lightly gaped her.
If she’s being honest about no previous anal experiences, then I may have to visit her again and make her asshole acquainted with my cock, as it appears to stretch easily….

ANYWAY…
As we were making out, I went to suck on her tits, the first time around I felt a sweet taste and didn’t think much of it…thought it may have been a moisturiser or something…
However…the second time I went to suck on her tits I did so quite hard and felt a squirt on my tongue, same exact sweet taste…I then realised it was fucking milk bros…I thought what the FUCK?!

In all fairness…for all I know she’s fat enough to be incognito pregnant or something…not sure when the milk kicks in to be honest and her kid is like 4 I think…surely you’d stop producing milk after that long?

What I do know though is that immediately following the milk injection I really really struggled to cum, I was able to block that thought out for a bit and just get it done. But when post nut clarity kicked in…fuck man I was so grossed out, that shit made me want to vomit and I had to get out of there pronto…I can’t get the memory of the taste out of my head. 

What the fuck man…Has this happened to anyone else? How did you feel after the fact? Sometimes when I do weird shit im fought between disgust and hedonistic pleasure, but this time…fucking yuck bro 

Last month i was looking around on Backpage for an escort, when i saw a picture of a girl with a tattoo i thought i recognized. I wasn't too sure, because the color in the picture was a little off. I figured i'll give her a try. I called her, set a date, and prepaid her off of a prepaid credit card. I told her to come to my hotel, and to walk in. I kept the room dark, but as soon as she walked in, i knew. It is my daughter! I disguised my voice best as i could, and told her to just get to work. I couldn't ram my cock down her throat fast enough. After several minutes, i flipped her around and threw her on the bed, bent over, ass in the air. I fumbled around for a few minutes with a condom, which i never put on. in the dark hotel room, she couldn't tell till it was too late. It only took a couple of minutes for me to nut, what felt like the biggest load ever, deep in her cunt. As soon as i was done, she was out the door.
I saw her last week at a birthday party. i think she has no clue that i know she's a whore, or that i used her. But we will see in a few weeks when i call her again.

I confess, I've been trying to bust a nut for about 13 hours now with no success.

A few years ago I worked with this delicious slut in a medium sized office. About 75 people worked there, 10 or 12 in the attached warehouse, the rest desk jobs in the office area up front. She sat in a cubicle across and beyond the wall from mine. Blonde, tan, about 5 foot 3, 120 pounds maybe. Big, perky fake tits and a tight little ass. She knew it too. Always wore outfits a bit too tight or revealing. The kind of girl who spent her time on boats and at the beach, always in the sun, always flirting. She was such a tease.

I liked having time to myself in the office, to get things done without others around to interrupt, so I would normally come in very early, get there 530 or 6 AM. That would allow me at least an hour, nobody else in the office came in before 7. A few warehouse guys, but they stayed in the back. One morning I'm at my desk about 615 and I hear this incredibly loud sound coming from one of the cubicles across the wall. Startling and LOUD. I walked over to investigate, and my little office fantasy, let's call her Julie (not her real name), had left her cell phone on her desk, and the alarm was going off. I managed to turn it off, shaking my head at the noise. I was about to put it back on her desk when I thought, I wonder what kind of pics she might have....

Her phone had no secure lock screen, so it wasn't hard to explore. I found her galleries, checking over my shoulder that nobody else was coming in. Mostly boring shots of her dog, some flowers, pinterest type crap. Scrolling down, scrolling, and then - bingo.

A series of selfies that were clearly meant for someone she wanted to fuck. licking her lips, pouty smiles with her hard nipples through a thin shirt, on her stomach with her beautiful ass in the air, and more. They progressively got more revealing. Her ass in boy shorts, then her bare ass. Wearing just a bra, then full exposed tits. they were amazing. playing with her nipples, then her in front of a mirror in only panties, then no panties covering her pussy with her hand, then legs open and her finger tracing her slit. I was rock fucking hard. I checked again to make sure I was still alone, then pulled my cock out and did what any guy would do, stroked myself off to her pics right there in her cubicle.

When it came time to cum I shot my load right on her chair. She never came in before 9, it would dry before then, and I could spend all day getting hard knowing she would be sitting on it.

I wanted to send myself the pics, but she would know I did. So I hooked up a USB and transferred a ton to my hard drive. She had so many more. Then just in time, I put her phone back and returned to my desk just before a co-worker came in.

Fast forward to the next morning, alone in the office, my cock out, stroking to her slutty pics. I printed a few, full color on the office printer, and shot ropes all over her. I must have done this every day for a week. I would throw the photos away after, buried beneath other trash. So i thought at least.

After about a week of this, I came in one morning to find one of my cum stained printed pics of her on my desk. No note, nobody there, just the pic. I was freaked out. I was caught, and going to get fired. I picked up the photo to destroy it and found underneath, another photo of her, one I hadn't seen before. Tight sweater, tight pants, fuck me smile. Written underneath the photo was "do this one next".

I wasn't sure if she had found it and it turned her on, or a creepy coworker found it and took a pic from her facebook or something, but it was exhilarating. I made sure I was alone, grabbed my cock and pumped a huge load all over her slut face. Then I put it in the trash the exact same way as the day before. Neither she nor anyone else said a word about it that day. I was extra sensitive, trying to figure out who did it, nothing.

The next morning when I arrived at 530 my heart was pounding. I walked to my cubicle, almost couldn't breathe. When I turned the corner there was no picture, just a post it note. "check my top drawer - J". It was her. My cock was RAGING before I even got to her desk. When I opened her top drawer there was an 8 x 10 photo of her, spread eagle, sucking a cock while using a vibrator on her pussy. Below it said "when you're done leave it where you found it, xo"

I could not believe this was happening. What a filthy slut! What an amazing place to work! I edged and stroked for about 20 minutes, and pumped a fat load all over her. Then I left the cum covered photo in her drawer. A few hours later she arrived at work. Our area was pretty quiet overall. She walked by my desk, which she didn't have to do, and said good morning, in a very flirtatious tone. A moment later I heard her sit down, put her bag away and open her desk drawer. Then clear as day I heard her moan just a little, and close the drawer. I was immediately hard again.

We did not speak about it. Not at all. There was this understood secrecy about what we were doing, not a hint of it during the work day, no communication. But each morning that week I would check her drawer and find a new photo, and cum all over it. Thursday there was no photo, but a pair of panties.

I sniffed them as I stroked, her delicious pussy all over them. Then I stroked with them, and decorated her panties with my spunk, and put them back in her drawer. That morning, when she got in, she called over the wall to me, "can you come here for a second?". I was so nervous, and so aroused.

Her cubicle was situated with the opening facing a corner, so you couldn't see into it unless you were standing right at the entrance. I walked over, not even trying to hide my erection. There were two other people in the room at that point, about 15 feet away. As I reached the opening and said good morning, she turned in her chair and said good morning back. She was wearing a pencil skirt, which she hiked up just a bit, and opened her legs. She then slid off her panties, and handed them to me, and said "I think these are yours". Then she retrieved the cum soaked panties from her desk, and put them on right in front of me. She then turned around and began working. I almost lost my mind.

I put her panties in my pocket, and walked back to my desk. I pretended to work, but all I could do was replay that exchange over and over in my head. After an hour or so of that I couldn't take it anymore. I went to the bathroom, sat in the stall and began stroking with her panties. I decided to take a short video, about 5 seconds, and text it to her. My heart was pounding as I pressed send. I continued stroking there in the stall until about 3 minutes later she texted back, a 5 second video of her rubbing her pussy at her desk. I watched it on a loop until I blew, right into her panties.

The rest of the day was somewhat normal, we didn't talk, but we both it seemed continued to fantasize about what happened. Then came Friday morning. I arrived about 545. It was routine now, get my coffee, go check her desk for today's stroking material, and bust a huge nut before getting to work. Except that day there was no photo, no panties. Nothing. I walked back to my desk disappointed, and then I saw the post it note on my monitor. "You should check the conference room".

The conference room in our building was big, with a floor to ceiling glass wall that faced an open field. About a dozen chairs, screen, large oval table, standard stuff. It was at the far end of the building. The lights in the main area were still off, nobody was in yet. The conference room door was closed, which was odd. I was so nervous as I reached for the handle. I turned and opened the door, it was dark. As I flipped the first light switch, which activated a soft , low light in the center of the room, I could see her at the head of the table. She was wearing another skirt, hiked up. Her legs were open, and she was playing with her amazing pussy. I entered the room, shut and locked the door behind me, and walked towards her.

"I want you to watch" she said. So I sat down in the chair next to her, and watched as she made herself cum right in front of me. She was a total exhibitionist. Really put on a show. After she came, I got down on my knees, touched her legs for the first time, held them open and ate her pussy like a maniac.

She was pulling me into her, grabbing handfuls of hair, moaning and saying filthy fucking things as I tongued her deep and thorough. She must have came 3 times before I stood up. I was barely upright before she was tugging and pulling at my belt and zipper with both hands, staring up at me the whole time. She lowered my pants, peeled down my boxers and my erect cock bounced up, almost hitting her face. She took it in both hands, stroking it slowly, and proceeded to give me an incredible blow job. One of the 5 best in my life.

She did everything - slapped her tongue and lips with it, rubbed it on her cheeks, kissed, licked, sucked, cheeks caving in, moaning, saying dirty, dirty things to me as she inhaled my engorged cock. I was so close to cumming. She had taken her top off while sucking me, so her gorgeous tits were out for me to enjoy.

She then stood up, bent over completely at the waist, and laid her naked upper body on the conference room table. She reached out with her hands, laying the palms flat on the table, and pointed her incredible ass towards me.

"Do whatever you want" was all she said to me. And I did.

I dominated her. Fucked her slow and deep as I held her neck, pressed my chest onto her back. I whispered incredibly erotic things into her ear as I pumped her full of my pulsing dick. She gushed on me. The edge of the table was soaked. I flipped her around and fucked her that way for a minute, then pulled her onto my lap in a chair, then put her up against the glass wall, then bent her over the table again and pummeled her cunt until I blew, a gigantic load of cum, right inside her.

After a moment of us both gasping for breath, we began to get dressed. We straightened up the room, wiped the table down, made sure we both looked presentable, and walked out into the main office area. Not 5 minutes later a couple of people arrived at work, and before long it was a normal day again.

That was the first time we fucked each other senseless at work, a tradition that went on for about 6 months, at least twice each week. But that first time, and the erotica that lead up to it, still the most amazing, dirty experience I've ever had.

Have you ever had a woman you wanted and lusted over for a long time, and then, when it finally happened, it was all you imagined it would be, only to be disappointed at the end?

We both knew Maya back in hs. She was by far the pretties girl in the entire school, but she wasn't popular, no, she was one of the nerdy girls, yet, the way she dressed, so closed and unrevealing, nor the way she acted, all shy and introverted, couldn't fool guys to look over her hotness.

She was our friend, and we both lusted over her. I tried something, she rejected me, like she rejected everyone - no one could touch her.

Now, this all happened in my home town, and as I went to college, she stayed, with him, my best friend. First Christmas I came back home from college, they already became an item, but we kept contact, all the way through college. Every time I visited, she evolved more and more, into a mesmerizing woman, being with him gave her confidence, both socially, and about the way she dressed, behaved.

I got married to a girl I met in college, in the city, after graduation, and they started living together, back home.

Twenty something years have passed. I got divorced in the mean time, and bought a little condo back home, for vacation, and started spending more time there. We lost touch over the years, but when I met him, and asked him about her, he confessed they broke up years ago. Then I bumped into her...

Saying that a 44 year old is stunning, always has to be taken with a bit of salt, but man, she was. I had no time to waste, texting have started, coffee dates, dinners... After one, she agreed to come back to my condo. When I kissed her, she kissed me back, and then surprised me, by going down on her knees, by herself, moments after, and unbuttoning my pants. When she took it in her mouth, I couldn't believe it. This was a woman, who I have been obsessed with for over two decades. I jerked off to the thought of her, thousands of times, and there she was.

It was wonderful, sensual, romantic. She came, while on top of me, tweeting like a little bird. Then I got to be on top, and when I was about to nut, I pulled out, but my excitement got the better of me, so instead of shooting for her belly, I unloaded all over her bald, perfect pussy.

"You didn't have to,"she commented,"there is no worries there".

That night, I learned that he left her, because she couldn't have kids. I also learned, that she is absolutely still and forever in love with him, and I decided, that that plot, is not healthy for me.

I did buckle, two more times, we spent two more nights together, before I packed my shit and got out of there, not to come back for another two years. She may be my perfect woman, but I am not her perfect man, and that would come back to bite me in the ass, sooner or later.

And that is my, said, love story.

Pool Fantasy - for entertainment, not real

Last episode

So Friday�..let�s back up to Thursday night. My wife and I had a short time to talk before I had to leave for work. First of all she thinks the husband is cute and indeed wants to fuck him, which I told her was fine by me. She was also surprised my moms actions on Wednesday and couldn�t believe she had so openly enjoyed rubbing lotion on her body while I sat there playing with her daughter. She said I could fun with either or both the girls as long as I told her the details. She also agreed if it ever became a possibility she would like to bed the mom herself. She never offered or mentioned seducing the daughter but I think if the situation arose she would go with it. I told her to try and get off work a half hour early the next day (Friday) and quietly come home. I told her to text me 5 minutes before she gets here. She is to watch us from inside the house for a bit. If there is anything that looks like a compromising situation between mom and me, she is to �bust� us and call the mom inside for a chat where she can let her know she is cool with everything and maybe even seduce mom. The thought of this really turned on my wife as she practically raped me and almost made me late for work.
Anyway Friday afternoon found me laying half awake in my boxers on the bed dreaming of the possibilities. My cock was nice and hard, though still confined, when I see a head peek inside the bedroom door. When she saw I was awake she came on in, followed by her mom, and jumped on the bed with me. She was wearing a short summer dress and as she flew on the bed, it flew up and I saw she was not wearing panties. She sat on me, straddling my hips and I know she felt my hard cock on her ass through her dress. I know because she kind of ground down on it. Mom chided her and told her to leave me alone and let me wake up. I explained I was already wide awake and it was ok. Mom asked if she could get changed and I said sure. While her back was turned going into the bathroom I slid the girls dress out from under her ass so her bare skin was on me and also pushed the hem up to give me another peek at her pussy. My hands came to rest on her hips with the dress bunched up in them. I could not see her mom unless I turned and looked in the mirror (which I didn�t want to do as I was happy looking up the girls dress) but I knew her mom could see me from about the chest down. I slowly rocked the girl, feeling my hard cock slide between her ass cheeks, the only barrier being my boxers. I asked her if she was going to get changed for the pool too and she said she already did. She shocked me by grabbing the hem of her dress and pulling it over her head, leaving her sitting there naked, settling back down on my now harder than ever cock. Her mom got a little pissed and said she couldn�t believe she just did that. The girl said mom you told me I could swim naked today. I know replied mom, but I didn�t expect you to just strip off right here and now she exclaimed. At least wrap up in a towel until we get in the pool ordered mom. The girl got off me and headed to the bathroom, I got up and followed. Once there I said I might as well get changed too and dropped my boxers without waiting for a reply or them to leave. Moms eyes got wide and she licked her lips as my cock sprang free. Oh wow is that what was poking me in the butt the girl asked. I told her it probably was as I gingerly pulled my trunks on as casually as if I were brushing my teeth. Ya�ll ready I asked, snapping mom out of a trance. Oh yeah, I�m ready mom replied huskily, and then changing her tone said um yes lets go get in the pool and cool off. I let them lead the way and said I would go make a couple of drinks and watched them till they were out the door. As usual I made moms double strength, and when I went out and set it on the table she downed half of it in one shot before stripping her bikini top off. I may as well get that out of the way huh she asked. I told her to do whatever she felt comfortable with then got in the pool myself. I couldn�t believe the girl was really playing in the water naked much less that mom allowed it. As usual, as soon as I got in the girl jumped up on me, wrapping her arms and legs around me. Only this time she was naked and nothing in the way of my fingers playing with her cunt or asshole as I supported her in my cupped hands. I bounced her up and down feeling her slide on my hard cock through my trunks before dunking her, running my finger through her slit as I did. As she came up coughing and sputtering I stepped over by mom and dried my hands so I could have a smoke. I saw she had already downed her drink so I asked if she wanted another. She said that might help, so I picked up the cold glass and casually ran it across one of her nipples, watching it harden. You should put some lotion on so they don�t burn I mentioned as I turned to leave the pool.
I dried off and went in to make her drink. Wanting to spend time in the pool rather than going in and out for refills I found an Ice bucket, filled it up and grabbed the bottles and mixer that way I could make drinks poolside without getting out of the water. Standing at the back door I decided to watch for a few minutes and see how they interacted. The girl was wrapped legs and arms around mom like she did with me. Moms hands were under her ass holding her like I did and I had to wonder if her fingers were playing. I didn�t have to wonder long. Mom fell backwards, taking her daughter with he and I could see her hands spread the girls ass cheeks apart and a finger on her asshole. After they surfaced, mom picked the girl up again, finger through her slit and dunked her again. She was mimicking my actions as she played with her daughter. Finally I stepped out and set the tray of mixer on the table and got back in the pool. The girl got on a floating chair while I went over and made mom a drink and talked while having another smoke. I asked if she had put sun tan lotion on and she said no she was waiting for me to get back. Without asking I picked up the bottle and squirted some on her tits. You put it on there so you have to rub it in she told me. Rub it in I did. I made sure to pinch and squeeze her titties and nipples and I could see the lust building in her eyes. I asked her if she minded me taking my trunks off, she said it was my pool and I could do what I wanted in it. What if I want you to take your bottoms off? Like I said it�s your pool your rules she whispered. Take your bottoms off I ordered. She shook her head no. Take your bottoms off or I will do it for you. I can�t she said, shaking her head no again. When she said I can�t I took it to mean that I could do it for her. I took the sides of her bikini in my hands and pulled them down and over her hips. She shifted her legs so they fell to the bottom of the pool and stepped out of them, leaving them at the bottom. I didn�t get a look at her cunt as it was below the water but at this point I began to wonder if I had a submissive on my hands. Think about it, it all adds up. Doesn�t complain, is quiet and goes along with whatever takes place, easily to manipulate. I wanted so bad to be naked with them but thought it best not to push it any faster than I already had. There was no doubt in my mind I could do whatever I wanted with either of them if I didn�t push too hard.
Mom got in a floating chair and I handed her the drink before asking the girl if I could have my chair. She asked if she could set on my lap and I told her sure, anytime. As I got in the chair I managed to pull the leg of my trunks open so my hard cock stuck out the leg hole then helped the naked girl into my lap. I had my shades on so mom couldn�t see my eyes watching her as I slowly begin to stroke the girls chest and thighs. Her eyes were focused on her daughters pussy and I could see her getting more and more tense as my fingers slowly stroked their way up. Finally, as I reached her slit, mom relaxed and licked her lips. As I slowly stroked up and down her slit, the daughter had her head back and eyes closed. I noticed mom stroking her fingernail on a hard nipple in time to my stroking. I shifted positions and brought her up so her pussy was out of the water and began probing at her entrance. Soon I pulled the finger up to my lips and locked eyes with mom as I sucked it into my mouth tasting what little taste there was, as the water had washed most of it away. I dipped my finger in her again and held it out, offering it to mom. I could see the look of lust and want in moms eyes, yet she made absolutely no move other than to lick her lips hungrily. I couldn�t coax her over, so I put the fingertip in her daughters mouth and she gently sucked on it, weather she knew it or not she was cleaning herself off my finger tip. I heard my cell phone chime and I knew it was my wife letting me know she was almost home. About this time mom slowly opened her legs and gave me my first good look at her cunt. Like her daughter, she was totally hairless, but as expected a fuller, more womanly cunt. I told her to do what I do and I resumed rubbing the girls slit, to which she dropped a hand in her lap and started rubbing herself. As I brought my finger to either my or her daughters lips, she brought hers to her own lips. My cock was harder than ever and poking up out of the water between the girls legs, though not touching her. I made sure mom saw me wipe a drop of precum off the head and put it to her girls lips and push it in her mouth. Mom dug her fingers in deep and came as she watched her baby girl taste my precum for the first time. Moms cell phone rang, breaking the magic moment. She answered it with a frustrated tone in her voice. After a few short words she hung up and said her husband was almost home and they had to go before he got there. About that time my wife came out the door wrapped in a towel. Mom was startled and I acted surprised. What are you doing home early I asked her. She asked what I was doing while she wasn�t home with a knowing smile on her face. Mom sputtered and stammered out something unintelligible and my wife told her it was ok, she is not the jealous type. Mom explained to her they had to get home and sorry to leave so quickly. The girl complained she didn�t want to leave and my wife asked if it would be ok for her to stay and swim and we would send her home later. With much pleading from her daughter, she finally gave in but said only for another half hour. The girl jumped off my lap and hugged her mom, thanking her profusely. Not quite the way I wanted everything to go, but I guess we take what we can get. Mom got her suit on before getting out of the pool and my wife complained it wasn�t fair, that she didn�t get to play with all of us, meaning mom basically.
Mom left hastily, not even bothering to change and sure enough not ten minutes later we saw her husband pull up. In the mean time my wife had removed her towel and revealed she was naked as she got in the pool. I decided now was a good time to take my trunks off and the girl cheered that we were all naked. We tossed the girl back and forth to her delight. I don�t know about my wife but I was defiantly taking liberties with my hands. We tired after a bit and moved by the table for a smoke. The girl put her goggles on and began swimming around under water as we watched. My wife was stroking my cock and at one point went under water and began sucking on it. As close as she was, and having goggles on I know the girl could see what was going on as she swam around but she never commented about it. My wife came up for air and said she would finish that later, so I took my place in a chair, as did my wife. The girl got in my lap again and this time my cock was free to press against her slit. She rubbed her hand up and down it pressing it into her cunt and against her clit as I toyed with her tiny nipples trying to get them to come to a point. My cell phone rang and I told my wife to answer as she was the closest and I wasn�t expecting any calls. After a hello and a brief pause she said Oh shit, ok thanks and hung up. She said it was the girls mom, and dad was on the way over to get her and we had to get dressed fast. I put my trunks on and the girls had to run in the house fast as both of them had nothing out here to put on. Sure enough dad came around the corner into the pool area just after the gals got inside. He asked where they were and I told him they had went inside a few minutes ago to change as we were about to send his daughter home. He said he hoped she wasn�t being a pest or outstaying her welcome. I assured him they were all welcome over any time, then offered him a beer. He accepted and we went out to the garage in the back to get one. During the conversation he told me he knew his wife and daughter came over a lot for the pool but if at any time they were a bother, what with me working nights and all, to just let him know. I told him that they were no trouble and while he was on the subject I thought he should come over more and learn to relax. He started to make excuses and I interrupted him and said bullshit. You have time after work and on the weekends, my wife loves to entertain and by God he was going to come over and get entertained. He laughed about it and promised to come over tomorrow afternoon. About that time the gals appeared. My wife had on a string bikini that left little to the imagination and his eyes about popped out of his head at the sight of her big tits and hard nipples. If that�s not a good enough reason to come over I don�t know what is I told him as he stared. The girl was in her dress and I knew she was naked underneath. My wife had the sense to grab one of her suits she had left her, get it wet and put it in a bag to make it look as if she actually came over with a suit. The girl ran and jumped into my arms and my hands went under her dress to support her. And to play with her pussy one last time. I wasn�t worried about dad catching me as he was too busy giving my wife a look over. She thanked me for letting her stay and swim and as I sat her down I let my finger trail through the crack of her ass, pausing to tickle her asshole. We said our goodbyes and my wife escorted them to the gate. After she got back to the garage I handed her a beer and told her about the afternoon and instructed her to get as friendly as she could with the dad. Actually I think I told her point bland to try and fuck him to keep him busy while I worked on mom and daughter. If he was fucking her, he couldn�t complain about me fucking his wife. His daughter might be a different story, but you never know, he might be into that too. By the way, my wife finished that blow job right there in the garage with the door open so anyone driving or walking by could see.
Thanks for everyone patiently waiting for the update on Friday. It is really hard with my new schedule to get things down and ready to post as I want to detail as much as I can. As for pictures with the faces blurred out�Are you freaking nuts? They can be unblurred with the right software. As far as pictures, I will get them and post them when and where i can. Afterall this is my adventure, my pool and my rules :)

So last night i brought my gf back to my house after drinking at a friends house. we were messing around at the party and we were pretty drunk by the time we were leaving. She was obviously more drunk than i was when we got to my house she threw herself on the bed and almost fell asleep but horny as i was i start taking off her pants..i had her face down ass up eating the pussy like i hadnt drank for days! anyways i was eating her out and licking her ass hole and she just moaned and hicuped like she might puke. but the fact that she was sooo drunk turned me the hell on i fucked her in the ass! no condom and i nutted in her>:)it was soo good i used no lube but i was eating and fingering her ass making it super wet! it was the best anal ive ever had she was pretty much passsed out and i pulled her hair riding real hard!!

(Parody of The Night Before Christmas written by Clement C. Moore)

T'was the fright before Christmas. No one upset me
With a big bowl of popcorn, watching TV

I stretched, gave a yawn, settled back in my chair,
In hopes that St. Nicholson soon would be there.

The children were lying awake without sleep
They'd seen all his movies. He gives 'em the creeps.

I'd cued up Cukoo's Nest with my trusty remote,
To the part where he had all the nuts in the boat.

When out in the yard there arose such a noise,
I turned off the TV to see what it was.

And what to my wondering eyes should approach?
But the Los Angeles Lakers and Pat Riley, their coach.

The limo was racing; the team at it's heels.
That's when I saw him the man at the wheel.

He ranted and cursed. Waved round his swizzle stick.
And I knew in a second it must be Jack Nick.

More rapid than the Celtics, these Lakers they came.
He screamed like a madman and called them by name:

'Now Magic, now Worthy, now Scott and Kareem
On Cooper, on Rambus, and the rest of the team.'

Down the chimney St. Nicholson came with a groan.
Then he brushed off the soot and said, 'Honey I'm home!'

He was wearing a trench coat. With beer it was stained.
And shirt clawed to shreds by Shirley McLaine

He had a fat face, and flabby beer belly
From too many trips to the bar and the deli.

'It's tough when an actor becomes fat and lazy.
I only get calls to play weirdoes and crazies'

And middle-aged has beens with washed up careers.
But I'll fix 'em all and play Santa this year.'

And with that he buried his head in the sack
And said, 'Let's see what you get from your old buddy Jack.

'A hatchet for Daddy,' he reared back his head,
'To scare all those little buggers upstairs in bed.

'And a stiff drink for Mommy, in a nice tall glass.
She could really use something to kill that bug up her chimney!'

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his face,
He threw all the stockings into the fireplace.

What could I do? What could I say?
What would I wear on my feet Christmas Day?

I asked for a reason, and turning his head,
He looked straight at me, and here's what he said:

'Why? Do you wanna' know why? Do you really wanna' know why, Pal?

'I'll tell you why. When you're out Christmas shopping. You know, doing your little Christmas things with all your little Christmas friends, spreading all that Christmas cheer with those stupid Christmas songs. Did you ever stop and think of picking up a little something for old Jack, huh? Did you ever stop to think of what Jack might like for Christmas?

'You know, Jack, from the movies, up on the big screen? Pouring his heart out, giving it everything he's got, day in and day out, just trying as hard as he can to bring a tiny little bit of sunshine into your miserable, little hum-drum lives. Did you ever think of good old Jack, huh, for a second? No, not once! Maybe old Jack just wasn't that good, huh? Maybe I wasn't good enough in The Postman Always Rings Twice. Acted my guts out for you in that one! Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, Witches of freaking Eastwick, Prizzi's freaking Honor! All for you pal, just to brighten things up for ya!

'Not good enough though is it? No, you want me to brighten up the Christmas season too, huh? Isn't that what you want, Pal?

'Okay, let's make things real bright around here! What do you say we decorate the tree? String up these pretty lights here! Oh, she's looking brighter already! Why don't we take this cute little angel and ram her on the top branch huh? Ha ha ha! How about some gasoline for the whole freaking thing? I mean let's make her just as bright as she can be! What do you say we light her up, and chuck her through the old picture window here, huh, pal? No sense in having a tree as bright as all that and not giving the neighbors a chance to see, don't ya think, huh?

'There, aren't you glad old Jack stopped by? Huh, huh, huh? Ha!'

The flames towered brightly in the cold wintery sky,
As he made for his limo and bade his goodbye.

And an age may unfold ere I fail to regret
That visit from St. Nicholson. Which I'd sooner forget.

But I swear by the goose bumps upon my skin
That I'll always remember that devilish grin.

And his voice crying out ere he faded from sight,
'Merry Christmas to all, and I hope I never see you again as long as I live, for crying out loud!'

I made my wife 2 burritos and rubbed the shells in between my nuts and legs first. It was pretty funky down there too. Then after I put it all together, I pissed in one of them before I rolled it up. Not a lot, but enough to make sure she got a good amount. I sat and watched her fat ass eat them laughing and smiling inside. That will serve the bitch right for not blowing and rimming me like she used to. What should I do next? No scat, I'm not going that far. Sorry there's no pics, it was a sudden thought when I did it.

I destroyed a 5 year long relationship the other night. I was at a small party with like 16ish friends nothing big just drinking and things. Anyway this girl kat just broke up with her girl friends and was drinking way too much. She was all over me all night, but as we were all friends and what not I was not going to rape the drunk girl. I know, I know but I do have a heart.

So as like 1:00am came around she could not keep her self up right any more so I put her on the spare bed and went back to the party. When I got back I found Kenny was dealing with his girlfriend who also had too much to drink, but she had passed out and thrown up on herself.

Now I dont like Kenny he is really full of himself, but his girlfriend is nice and I was one of the more functional people at the time so I help clean her up. As im doing this Kenny just fucking disappears. So after I fix up his girlfriend I go to find him. Wouldn't you fucking know it I find him trying to get kat's bra off. So I pull him off her and take him back in the other room.

Then he tries to tell me he is too drunk and thought that kat was his girlfriend, but I know for a fact that he did not drink that night and kat and his girlfriend don't look anything alike. I was not really up for a fight right then so I just said you need to sleep it off and told him to sleep by his girlfriend. So he pretended to do so until like 5:30ish. Then he get up and goes back to the room kat is in.

Now you would think I did what I did next to save kat and show kenny's girlfriend she need to do better, but I really did it because if i was not going to fuck the drunk girl no one was. So I got kenny's girlfriend up as drunk as she was and told her that kenny must me hurt, that he is moaning. She then jumps up and runs to him only to find him with his pants down, his dick out and kat topless with her pants halfway down.

I cant even describe the shit storm that happened then, but it was funny as hell, he was so beside himself he did not even try to pull his pants up as he was saying things like I did not do anything, I found her like that, and my favorite "I do it to you all the time". She kicked him in the nuts for that one. Then he crawled in to the other room crying with his pants still. when I got in to the other room every one was up and he was on the floor crying it was the funniest fucking thin I have ever seen.

Isn't it a shame that you can't be honest and truthful on the web by posting as yourself, or speaking your mind then being attacked by people that don't agree with you, in fear of some NUT going on a personal rampage to expose all your little quirks and personal information? Sometimes it pays to be anonymous. You have stalkers and fakes pretending to be people that they aren't in hopes to "friend" people and use them for their own twisted games. Even in these boards, if you bring up a topic which is your own opinion, you fall under attack by someone with a differing opinion, rather than them calmly voicing their own opinion. There's no need for attacks. It's not like I'm trying to convince anyone of anything, just voicing my opinion. People need to share their opinion without attacking others. Less judging and more open-mindedness. Maybe I'm just a peaceful person in real life and the others aren't.