The Boarding School by Ana�s Nin:
This is a story of life in Brazil many years ago, far from the city,
where the customs of strict Catholicism still prevailed. Boys of
good birth were sent to boarding schools run by the Jesuits, who
continued the severe habits of the Middle Ages. The boys slept
on beds of wood, rose at dawn, attended mass without break-
fast, confessed every day and were constantly watched and spied
upon. The atmosphere was austere and inhibiting. The priests
ate their meals apart and created an aura of sainthood around
themselves. They were stylized in their gestures and speech.
Among them was a very dark-skinned Jesuit who had some
Indian blood, the face of a satyr, large ears glued to his head,
piercing eyes, a loose-lipped mouth that was always watering,
thick hair and the smell of an animal. Under his long brown robe
the boys had often noticed a bulge which the younger boys
could not explain and which older boys laughed at behind his
back. This bulge would appear unexpectedly at any hour�while
the class read Don Quixote or Rabelais, or sometimes while he
merely watched the boys, and one boy in particular, the only fair-
haired one in all the school, with the eyes and skin of a girl.
He liked to get this boy off by himself and show him books
from his private collection. These contained reproductions of
Inca pottery on which there were often depictions of men stand-
ing against each other. The boy would ask questions which the
old priest had to answer elusively. Other times the prints were
quite clear; a long member came out of the middle of one man
and penetrated the other from behind.
At confession this priest plied the boys with questions. The
more innocent they appeared to be, the closer he questioned
them in the darkness of the little confessional box. The kneeling
boys were unable to see the priest, who was sitting inside. His
low voice came through a small grilled window, asking, "Have
you ever had sensual fantasies? Have you thought about
women? Have you tried to imagine a woman naked? How do
you behave at night in bed? Have you ever touched yourself?
Have you ever fondled yourself? What do you do in the morn-
ing upon rising? Do you have an erection? Have you ever tried
to look at other boys while they dress? Or at the bath?"
The boy who did not know anything would soon learn
what was expected of him and be tutored by these questions.
The boy who knew took pleasure in confessing in detail his
emotions and dreams. One boy dreamed every night. He did not
know what a woman looked like, how she was made. But he had
seen the Indians making love to the vicuna, which resembled a
delicate deer. And he dreamed about making love to vicunas and
awakened all wet every morning. The old priest encouraged
these confessions. He listened with endless patience. He imposed
strange punishments. A boy who masturbated continuously was
ordered to go into the Chapel with him when no one was
around, dip his penis in the holy water, and thus be purified.
This ceremony was carried out in great secrecy at night.
There was one very wild boy who looked like a little Moor-
ish prince, black-faced, with noble features, a royal carriage, and
a beautiful body so smooth that no bones ever showed, lean and
polished as a statue. This boy rebelled against the customary
wearing of nightgowns. He was used to sleeping naked and the
nightgown choked him, stifled him. So every night he put it on
like the other boys, and then he would secretly take it off under
his covers, and finally fall asleep without it.
Every night the old Jesuit would make his rounds, watching
that no boy visited another in his bed, or masturbated, or talked
in the dark to his neighbor. When he reached the bed of the
undisciplined one, he would slowly and cautiously lift the cover
and look at his naked body. If the boy awakened he would scold
him. "I came to see if you were sleeping without a nightgown
again!" But if the boy did not awaken he was content with a
long lingering glance at the youthful body asleep.
Once during anatomy class when he stood on the teacher's
platform, and the girlish blond boy sat staring at him, the
prominence under his priest's robe became obvious to everyone.
He asked the blond boy, "How many bones does man have
in his body?"
The blond boy answered meekly, "Two hundred and eight."
Another boy's voice came from the back of the classroom,
'But Father Dobo has two hundred and nine!"
It was soon after this incident that the boys were taken on
a botanical excursion. Ten of them lost their way. Among them
was the delicate blond boy. They found themselves in a forest,
far from the teachers and the rest of the school. They sat down
to rest and decide upon a course of action. They began eating
berries. How it began, no one knew, but after a while the blond
boy was thrown on the grass, undressed, turned on his stomach
and the other nine boys all passed over him, taking him as they
would a prostitute, brutally. The experienced boys penetrated
his anus to satisfy their desire, while the less experienced used
friction between the legs of the boy, whose skin was as tender as
a woman's. They spat on their hands and rubbed saliva over
their penises. The blond boy screamed and kicked and wept, but
they all held him and used him until they were satiated.
