Suppp bitches...DEUCES!
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I am a 18 year old guy and I work part time at a restaurant as a chef and this happened 3 days ago. So I was at work and I went to the bathroom to drop a deuce and while in the process I was reading all different graffiti on the stall (all the regular stuff I see all the time like "fuck you", "jesus is watching you" etc), but today I noticed a new one (this is the highlight of my shift) "call this number for a good time" carved into the stall door. So I think "I'm going to call this number later with my buddies and fuck with the hooker". I get off work and go to my friends and we are all pumped and have been waiting all day to do this. So we call her say a bunch of stuff "can you shit on my chest", "will you choke me" all that fucked up shit. We hung up and were all dying laughing and then go on with the night and everything is good until the next morning. When I get home and there's a police cruiser out front and two cops on my porch waiting for me with my parents. I had no clue what was happening but apparently the number we called was a sting setup by vice department. They took me to the station in cuffs for questioning and I was held in a cell for 3 hours (longest 3 hours of my life) while they were trying to determine if I had "intent". So I was eventually let go free of charge because all of the evidence was circumstantial and they determined I was just an idiot. But they decided to show the transcript of the conversation to my parents and my boss (because he was aware of the setup) so needless to say the EVERYONE now knows and thinks I'm a huge creep/idiot and let me tell you I have never had a more awkward 3 days in my life at work and at home.
If there's any one out there that would want to have some ni judgement fun am get nasty I'm your guy I'm 5,4. 130 pounds am blue eyes 8 inch dick an my asshole is a tight little thing that is been begging for the right opportunity for it to finally get pounded so hard that I feel it in my stomach inside my guts that way I feel like I got the full experience and I will be able to get it out of my system or it will open my eyes the third one I'm very clean shaved am deuce my ass so holler back live in Corbin Kentucky
So, first of all, let me say that I am currently residing in China. It is was Valentine's day and it was my fourth date with this nice guy. (I'm 25, female, yadda yadda). He speaks a bit of English, better than my Mandarin. Enough for us to get by. We had already had sex twice at this point... and he wasn't doing much do dispel Asian stereotypes.... even though I have seen other, very generously gifted dicks on other Chinese guys... he had a pretty tiny one. Maybe like 3 inches or so. So since I'm a good girl that does her kegels, it still felt pretty good. What he lacked in size he made up for in enthusiasm. I surprised him when I went down on him the first time, I think he was used to inexperienced women. I about blew his mind with my oral sex skills, because to me, it's not a chore, I fucking love a dick down my throat (not that his was actually long enough to make it as far as my throat... but... you get the point). I'm very orally fixated.
Anyways, I digress. He had apparently forgotten this little fact from our last session. So I asked him if I could go down on him (since I don't know the Mandarin word for "blowjob" it then became an interesting miming session. So I went on him for about three seconds before I reel back.
"Why?" do you ask? Because a noxious chemical taste was invading my mouth and my lips and tongue were going numb. It was like I had just taken a trip to the dentist. (And that's essentially what it was, I found out later from an internet search). Benzocaine. Used by dentists around the world.... also used to in numbing gels and creams to increase sexual stamina by... that's right... you guessed it... numbing their dicks.... so that's how I found out he hadn't just been dropping a large deuce in my bathroom for those 7 minutes he disappeared in there. The taste was so bitter and chemical, I couldn't help it, I spit and patooyed. It was like drinking from a test tube or something. I hastily asked him about it, typing furious away on my trusty translator app.... he denied it up and down. I asked then if he had had sex with a girl earlier that day, because sometimes the insides of condoms have that stuff in it... which he also vehemently denied up and down.... his explanation for why my lips and tongue could now undergo minor surgery with no problems?....
new underpants....
There wasn't a another date after that one...
this is less of a confession and more of a funny story, didn't have anyone I could tell it to though
I confess this video made me cum twice. Love the part when the girl takes the whole 16incher then pushes it out like a fat deuce! YUMMMMY!
A while back, like months ago there was this video posted of a chick on the shitter trying to drop a deuce. Her friend recording kept laughing because she couldn't, finally she pushed out a little turd. Anyone got that video?
PS: Not into scat or any of that shit (no pun intended) I know the chicks in the video.
Supppp bitches, TGIF! Deuces....
Sup bitches....deuces!
ive been posting a few pics here and there trying to convince people that i have a small dick, but its not working, gigs up. deuces