I have a confession... I had just recently moved and to meet some locals I started using Tinder. Well, I had quite a few matches and I decided to meet up with one incredibly hot fresh 21 yr old girl. We went to a pretty classy Irish Pub, started shooting the shit and having quite a few drinks. While in the restroom something came over me and I was like fuck this isn't going anywhere, what the fuck do I do? So, I walk back out and begin flirting with the mediocre female bartender. The woman I'm there with begins to catch on, so she begins to flirt with some random Joe Schmo from the bar. After a few more drinks we're nearing closing time, and now I have not only the bartender at my beck and call but now the bar's manager a decent looking mid aged woman that is ready to go to my place and the drop of a hat. So, thinking that we're absolutely done and that meeting up with this woman was a waste of time, I drunkenly decided to be blunt with another female bartender whom I couldn't stop starring at. I literally ask her, "When do I get to see you out of those work clothes?" and to my surprise she replies "The girls and I are going to my house to drink and sit in the hot tub, you're more than welcome to join." Completely fucking shocked, and at this point piss fucking drunk, I follow her to her house stumble in and look around to find that her roommates are two older lesbians. She asks me if I'd like to hop into the hot tub or head to bed since I was pretty tanked. I said either or is fine and she leads me to her bedroom, we start making out she does the classic chubby check and starts stroking my dick. Next thing I know someone is banging at the door, low and behold its the fucking bitch from Tinder. She had followed me to this woman's house, and demanded I speak to her. So, my intoxicated ass throws a fit and asks if she can go speak to the woman for me and tell her I'm sleeping or something of the sort, not knowing the type of woman I was with she answers the door saying something like "in the middle of a fuck session can I help you?" and the woman replies "Can I join, the only reason I went out with him was in hopes to get fucked" So, I don't really remember too much at this point, but some foggy memories of these two girls making out with my dick in between their mouths, and some odd sexual interpretation of the human centipede. I woke up to a splitting fucking headache and 4 naked women in a place that I had never seen before, I tried to sneak out embarrassed I may not have performed at my peak potential and I accidentally awake one of the roommates who asks why I'm leaving so soon, there is still breakfast and morning sex to have. I heard bacon and couldn't leave, so while she's cooking breakfast I'm having the hair of the dog that bit me trying to snuff out this hangover as soon as possible, and I ask what the hell happened last night. She replies with a chuckle and "I figured you wouldn't remember much" turns around walks towards me dropping a plate of flapjacks and bacon in front of me, saying "We'll just have to reenact it then won't we?"

Long story short, first time ever having sex and not remembering. I am now dating the girl from Tinder, and we occasionally still have "parties" with the bartender and her roommates along with some new talent.

My wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was.

She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was.

She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks and pebbles.

"Now," said my wife, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. Your X-box, football, the pub, porn. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important."

I was dumbfounded.
Where was she going to get more mayonnaise from for my sandwich?

I work in a metal fab shop where the management emphasizes safety. Hard hat, thick work gloves, steel toed boots. So a few days ago I get off work and drive to the other side of town to pick up a package for my flatmate and on the way back decide to stop off at a pub for a few pints. Its getting dark, so after an hour or so I leave and walk through a short alley to the nearby car park. Some shitskin in the alley pulls a switchblade on me demanding money. He's acting a bit high, which is to my advantage.

He does not know that I am wearing steel toed boots. A quick step back and first kick to the balls. The scum bag drops the knife and grabs his crotch. Second kick sideways to his right shin and he goes down, faceplant on the pavement. Third kick to the ribs as hard as I can do. Fourth kick to the side of his face, figuring to break his jaw and knocking out a few teeth. Left that filthy nigger moaning and puking up his own blood. I took his knife and drove back to the flat, feeling satisfied.

Steel toed boots, legal weapon of champions.

A mate of mine has just told me he's fucking his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache!"

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa

I confess. After a long sleepless night of fixing up a laptop, downloading and installing the .iso - passing it over to the now 'functioning' laptop, from a Linux system, downloading all the drivers. The Ethernet controller without internet was definitely the most fun part.
Getting all the basic stuff in check and out of the way, of course remembering how shit m$ was and thanking the heavens I got out of that mindless, self-indulging piece of shit most people naively claim is technology.

At around six O'clock in the morning I was just plain bored and too tiered to concentrate and virtually cause some chaos on Battlefield 3. So I thought I'd maybe indulge into a little Omegele trolling(yes, I was that bored and shattered beyond imagination). Of course this led from .gif to .gif and then to .jpgs (the standard shit)
After about twenty seconds of cock, cock, cock and more spineless characters, some random chicks appeared. And even though the idea of them complying to the 'Instant Win' it just felt wrong. Which is rather strange because my no - noes are only teens or younger and scat. But that just felt completely desperate and I wasn't even really bothered to get a eyeful of anything, I mean; cummon ... there is porn EVERYWHERE online - why 'work' for it.
I came to the same conclusion as every time I end up on that bullshit site. I see too much cock, which is not a pleasant site, was still bored shitless and hating that place as always, for some unknown reason I still drift on there from time to time.

In conclusion. If you do indeed feel the need to do this sort of stuff, maybe the urge. It is the probably the most desperate thing you could ever do - that of course, if you are really trying to see some tits.

Go to a hooker, pay her, her soon to be well earned money. Get that stress out of your body and dedicate your time to something more productive in life that just aimlessly trolling people who already are bored senseless anyway.

Or

You could just do what we all do, have done and probably very soon; will be doing again.
Get out of the house - alone, or with friends, that's your choice - go to a bar/pub/club... have a beverage of your liking and talk to someone who tickles your fancy.
Because, at least for me ... It's just much much easier to come here, or any other site with COPIOUS amounts of FREE porn, choose something that gets your rocks off and do your thing. And not spend endless hours wasting time, siving through cocks, loops, people who are not stupid to fall for these old tricks. Oh, did I mention more cocks too ...

That's it.

I confess that last night I kissed, and almost had sex with, one of my best friends mum. I'm 20 and so is my friend Jenny. Her mum is 46 and her dad left her for some other woman about 2 years ago. (Think it was actually his secretary, how cliche'd haha) Any way she's pretty attractive but I had never really considered her in any sexual manner before, known her since I was very young but never really spoken to her much.

Anyway, last night Jenny's boyfriend was having his 21st birthday party at the pub where I work. It's just a few minutes walk from my house, and also from Jenny and her mums house too. So they were all in the pub getting pretty drunk and Jenny's mum was there too having quite a lot of wine. So when I finished work at 9 I decided to join them and went and sat with Jenny and her mum.

One beer led to a few more (not loads only 4 pints or so) and I ended up chatting with just her mum for about 2 hours, jenny had gone sitting with her boyfriend. At first I thought it would be awkward as we don't know each other that well but she was pretty drunk and so very chatty. After a while I started to get the impression that she might be flirting with me, so I decided to go along with it and it just got more and more flirty and she asked me if I had a girlfriend. I told her no and she only half joking that she would have definately gone out with me if she wasn't too old. I just laughed and told her that she wasn't too old for me at all. At this point we were both saying it as if we were joking but we both knew that we were actually being serious.

Then she went straight to the point and asked me if I thought she was attractive and i obviously said yes, very attractive. She seemed genuinely surprised (i don't know why as i'd been blatently flirting with her for about half an hour!!)and started telling me that she found me attractive too. She ended up sitting really close and had her hand right on my thigh at this point.

She then said what about Jenny, wouldn't that bother you blah blah blah. And I just kinda shrugged it off and said I dunno what about you and she just said yeah it probably isn't right, but she didn't move away and carried on with her hand on my thigh and we carried on flirting. Anyway at that point everyone was leaving so I decided to walk home with Jenny's mum and also Jenny and her boyfriend.

Got back to their place and the 4 of us had another beer/wine whatever and were chatting but me and her mum wern't flirting anymore but she kept smiling at me everytime she could. Then Jenny and her boyfriend went upstairs to bed and I think at that point Jenny was a bit confused as to why i was still there but she was very drunk and didn't say anything. Anyway me and her mum were chatting for a few minutes and then she just leaned over on the couch and full on kissed me. So we were making out on the couch for a couple of minutes and she was rubbing my cock aswell at first through my jeans and then actually had her hands inside my pants. She was a fucking awesome kisser as well. I was so turned on it was unreal. Couldn't believe that it was happening and how i'd never noticed how hot she is before. It really was great haha.

Unfortunately at that point jenny's boyfriend came back downstairs, we heard him coming and moved apart so nothing was wrong but he ended up getting another beer and coming sitting down with us. After about 5 minutes i realised he wasn't moving anytime soon and me and her mum did this weird 'conversation' just through facial expressions and eye contact haha, basically she shook her head and it was pretty much over for the night, gave it up as a lost cause.
I've got her number though and i might give her a ring or text at somepoint, or maybe just wait til she next comes into the pub.

I feel a bit mean on my friend as Ive never done anything like that before but her mum was amazing so if i get the chance again i think i'll definately take it. Hopefully I will! I'll update this if anything else happens but it will probably be a while if ever.

You walk into the men’s room at the pub and find her tied up like this
What do you do next?

OK where do I start? I am Jane, I am also 55 widowed for 10 years now. I had a great sex life with my husband until he got killed in a car accident. It took me a long time to get over it and if truth be told I am still not, but I am better and last year I decided to make a clean break of it all and moved out of London to a very small village in the south of England. My new home was just at the edge of the village, a small cottage, with the biggest back garden ever. It took me around a year to get it all the way I wanted. I put a big fence round the whole back garden making it very private, The bottom half I dedicated to growing flowers but I set aside the area closest to the house and my recreation area. I got a summer house build with a gazebo next to it where I put a hot tub. The gazebo has removable sides for the summer and can be put on for the cold weather.
I kept myself to myself for that first year but last March I decided it was time to get out there and meet people again. It was a very nice spring day and I put on a nice new summer dress, now I may be in my 50s but I don't look it. I am very short just a little over 5 foot tall I am also nice and slim and have always taken care of myself and kept myself fit. My breasts have always been small, almost none at all, all the women in my family are the same, as a result I have never had to wear a bra unless I wanted too. I got on my push bike and took a ride into the village, I stopped at the one and only pub and decided I wanted a gin before I went on. I had never been in the pub before but it was like a pub that time forgot, It was like walking into the past. The only people in there were 4 old men playing dominos. I sat at the bar and in walked a pretty woman who turned out to be the owner. She knew who I was and said it was about time I came in, small village everyone knows everything. I introduced myself and she told me she was Laura 42. We talked for about 3 hours and I had way too much gin to get back on my bike to ride home. I walked home feeling more drunk than I ever had for years. I woke up the next morning still in my dress and had slept on the couch. I treated my hangover and remembered I had left my bike at the pub. It was a really warm day and I showered and put on another summer dress, a white one. I put on white cotton panties but didn't bother with a bra and walked towards the pub. I was almost there when it started to rain, not just a shower this was a downpour. Even though I ran by the time I got to the pub I was so wet, I doubt I could have got wetter by jumping into a swimming pool. Laura had just opened the pub so when I burst in I was the only one there and it was just as well because I discovered my dress was almost transparent when wet. My small breasts were showing through and because the dress was sticking to me and my panties were also wet you could make out my thick pubic hair also. Laura couldn't help herself and burst out laughing. She took me through the back to her home before anyone else came in the pub. She gave me some towels and said I should dry off. I thought she would leave me too it but she grabbed the bottom of my dress and pulled it up over my head. I took my panties off and dried myself. She came back with a gin for me as I sat on her couch covered in a towel. She took my clothes and put them in the dryer. I was sitting drinking my gin when in walked Laura's daughter, Karen. What shocked me more was she was totally naked, she never batted an eye when she saw me and just said hello. Laura came back in and said sorry about her daughter. I said not to worry as we were all girls, but I have to say Karen was beautiful, her breasts defied gravity. Laura told her to go get dressed and take over the bar. Laura told me that because it was just her and Karen they never bothered much with clothes. I laughed and told her not to worry and when I was married my husband and I would walk about naked also.
Over the next few months I would visit the pub almost every day and I became very good friends with Laura. I also drank more than I ever had in my life. I met a few other people from the village but by far I spent most of my time with Laura.
One Sunday It was very warm that day and I called Laura and told her I was going to spend the day in the garden and asked if she wanted to come join me and to bring gin. I told her just to come into the garden and when she came in I was sunbathing naked. I was on my front and didn't hear her come in. She came over to me and poured some gin right over my bum, it made me jump up and I could have slapped her but she was laughing like a schoolgirl. I sat down and she started to take her clothes off, as she did something stirred in me that had not stirred since my teens. She took off her bra and let her massive boobs free, she pulled her panties off and I saw she was totally shaved. Again my thoughts went back to my teens when I had a crush on my best friend, all I did back then was kiss but seeing Laura naked made me want to do more and why I did what I did next I still don't know. She bent over and her bum was almost in my face, I leaned over and kissed it. She didn't move and I kissed it again, this time I ran my tongue up and down the crack of her bum, I used to do this with my husband and he loved it. I knew I had just crossed a line and as I moved my head away she turned round and looked at me, I knew right away she was OK because her smile was wide. She sat next to me and leaned over and kissed me. She pulled away and told me she had wanted to kiss me since we first met. We kissed a lot that day but nothing else, Laura said she had been hurt so many times before and wanted to take things slow.
I was at the pub one night and after closing she took me to her room, we got naked and she made love to me, this was so unlike the lovemaking I had done with my husband, she was so gentle and when she went down on me it was unlike anything I had before. My husband almost never did that but her mouth and tongue took me to a place I had never been before, I came so many times and was so loud doing it. A lot of that night is a total blur because of the whole bottle of gin I had drank, but I do remember going down on her for the first time, I stopped short and she puled my head in, her pussy was so wet and my tongue found her pussy and I worked my tongue into it, finding her clit and with my hand I pushed a finger into her bum, another thing I did with my husband, she loved it as much as he did. We swapped places a few times before falling asleep. I woke the next morning and she had left me a note saying she had gone shopping. I went to the kitchen, still naked. And Karen came in behind me, she laughed and said that me and mum had kept her up all night with the screams. I said sorry but she said not to worry and that it had helped her masturbate. I was a little shocked and as she walked past me she gave me a little pat on my bum.

I will carry on later sorry my fingers are too wet to carry on

Was at the pub last night after work. While I was talking to the barman (a man my age, just over 50) he was telling me that he had got lucky and fucked a 21 year old the night before. Joking around I told him pics or it didn't happen. I never expected him to show me pics. Especially pics of my stepdaughter. I stayed quiet about her being my stepdaughter. He was telling me she called him daddy and told him that she wanted to fuck her stepfather but she didn't know how to go about it.
When her mother went to work this morning I took matters into my own hands. She was still in bed when her mother left so I went into her room, I sat down on the side of her bed to wake her up. I shook her shoulder gently to wake her and as she started to roll over my hand "accidentally" slid down a bit onto her chest. When my hand stopped on her tit she woke up and looked me in the eye. I smiled as I gently squeezed her tit, when she smiled back, my fingers found her nipple, it got hard immediately. I grabbed one of her hands and put it on my hardening cock and told her I knew she wanted me to fuck her, her face went bright red but there was no denial. I slid her shirt up so I could see her tits, they looked perfect, I couldn't help myself and started to lick and suck her nipples one at a time. Her hand started to slide up and down on my cock.
Sliding my hand down towards her pussy made her slide her hand inside my shorts, as my fingers slid between her meaty cunt lips, her hand grabbed my cock and she told me she wanted my cock in her mouth. I made her wait about 10 mins while I fingered her cunt. She got so impatient that she moved herself around so my fingers stayed buried inside her but she could get my cock in her mouth. Fuck me she was a better cocksucker than her mother. You could tell she liked sucking cock by how she attacked it. Not once did I have to push her head down, she knew how to deepthroat from the start. After fucking me with her mouth, I picked her up and threw her on the bed and told her to spread her legs like the little slut she was, she put her feet behind her head and told me to pound her harder than I fuck her mother. While I was fucking her she grabbed her phone and started showing me videos of her masturbating, in every video she was calling out "daddy fuck me" and "daddy make me your fucktoy".
We fucked for about an hour, when we were finished, she sucked her cum off my cock and asked me to promise not to tell her mum. Like I was gonna do that lol, I'm not that stupid. I agreed on one condition and that was I get to fuck her whenever I wanted and she said she thought it was obvious we were going to be fucking regularly.

I'm nearly 60 and have enjoyed 30 years of paid sex with some really memorable occasions. Unlike many other guys who have satisfying sex lives with partners or girlfriends I have had to pay, but I have used the opportunity to have sex with attractive young women that I would never have been able to enjoy any other way. I'm always after the elusive girlfriend experience, however but treat girls well and have often been very pleased with the outcome.

A bit of history: Back in 2010 I used the Adultwork website to meet up with a beautiful 19yo photographic model model (we'll call her Clare) who also liked to offer extras. After a very successful sexual encounter I told her I enjoyed gangbangs. "What's a gangbang?" she asked! Well I didn't just tell her, I felt obliged to educate her properly and organised one with myself and 3 other middle aged guys. She and we loved it and she held several with other organisers before at Christmas 2011 I suggested another new experience, a visit to a well known naturist/swinging club. Let's call it Oreos.

All organised, several guys and her met at a pub before going the club. At reception, however she was turned away. We hadn't realised they had a 21yo age limit and she was 4 days short of her birthday. Fortunately one of the guys had a hotel room so we were still able to party but this was always the special event that didn't happen.

Soon after that Clare started a relationship and stopped working. She became pregnant and had three children. She left a lot of punters bereft, we wished her well but she had been one of the most enthusiastic and lovely amateur hookers, with a genuine fondness for older men and a strong exhibitionist streak and sense of fun.

I could never get over the missed event however and kept trying to arrange it with other girls. In the end I advertised a reverse booking on Adultwork and my very cheap offer of £100 for 'at least two hours' at the club was accepted by a girl calling herself Lush Companion. She was delightful, half Philipino, petite and sweet. We stayed the whole evening and I had a great time. We treated two guys to joining us in a private room although they only got to watch us and be wanked off by her.

Earlier this year, I heard rumours that Clare was working again and established email contact. In a racy chat session she let on that she felt occasionally stifled by motherhood and craved the attention she used to command from guys. She also wanted to prove she was as tight and passionate as before she delivered her babies vaginally. She was proud that her figure was almost as slim and firm as before.

We arranged to do the Oreos visit nearly five years after the first time. She would travel from home in Birmingham to Bristol, I would pay her travel expenses, plus £60/hour for two hours and would try and arrange a couple of other guys to increase her income and make up more of a party.

I advertised on Craiglist for single guys to "share an 25yo slim amateur hooker at Oreos" and when I had a disappointing response, advertised for couples as well. I did have about 2 guys and 2 couples expressing an intention to attend and participate. As it turned out nobody from Craigslist or any of my usual gangbang circulation list turned up (Losers) but we had a ball anyway.

When Clare's train arrived I was delighted to discover she was just as pretty and slim as I remembered and just as friendly and up for it. She looked stunning in the nude at Oreo's and I enjoyed a shower with her as she experienced some initial embarrassment.

Clare was only shy for about ten minutes and then realised that there were worse fates than being fancied by 20-30 blokes. She really entered into the swinging spirit. We fooled around in the Jacuzzi, were joined by a black couple who were very naughty with each other underwater. The woman, Kate, said she wanted to lick Clare out so we went to the largest of the private rooms. I could tell that Clare was really getting off on the very polite but obvious attention from guy in particular one and feeling magnanimous to both Clare and the guy said Puss could do whatever she wanted and she asked the very 'buff' and extremely nice guy, John, if he wanted to join us to 'help use up a bottle of baby oil'.

In the private room I french kissed Clare and slathered her slim torso and pussy with oil while Clare wanked John. She then sucked him while the Kate licked Clare out and fingered Clare's pale pink pussy with her brown fingers and crimson nails whilst declaring that "Oh my god you have most gorgeous pussy (True) and you taste so good". While she did that her partner fucked her in doggy with his stereotypically large cock.

Then I said it was Ok, so John found himself fucking Clare but forbidden to cum. He and I took her in turns and in several position before he came on her smooth belly. As the client, I reckoned I would finish the session by coming inside her. OMG that was lovely. Winston was fiddling with her anus and my balls which I quite enjoyed but Clare didn't appreciate!

Winston was pissed because Clare wouldn't let him fuck her "You'd split me open" she said, which seemed unlikely seeing as she had delivered several babies, but she was still very tight and I gather she had had a bad experience with a BBC in the past. Absolutely her call, after all, I was the only one paying!

After the joint session in the private room John had to leave. He had a huge grin and still couldn't believe his luck having had Clare choose him and me telling him he couldn't come until I said so!

With only 45 minutes until we had to catch the train, I had a second wind and having asked Clare just for a cuddle, we had a very sweet spoons and cowgirl quickie session in a clean private room, by ourselves (I'm afraid we left the other one with soggy towels and pools of oil and worse. Disgraceful!).

Well, after two and half hours in total at the club we ran out laughing into the street and hailed a taxi, getting her to the station just 5 minutes before her train. I don't know how many times she came over the evening. I managed more than I thought I was capable of and the subsequent Viagra headache was just mild enough for me to bask in the afterglow.

I won't forget this amazing experience for a long time. It hugely exceeded already high expectations, mostly because of a wonderful girl and a very good vibe at the club.

It cost me £140 for her (all I could afford), £15 entrance (special offer for couples on Tuesday), £30 in cabs, £40 for her train fare. This is twice as much as I've ever spent on a punt. Would have got 4 half hour sessions with my hometown regular - but what an experience!

She and I have exchanged texts and emails over the subsequent 24 hours. It is abundantly clear that she really enjoyed it. I'm so glad.

Details have been changed to protect the guilty but this actually happened last night 3rd June. I know - I was there !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I confess...

Last night I went out for a leaving do for one of my gay mates at work Martyn, dozens of us trawled the pubs of Leicester, The Dover, The Rainbow & Dove, Sloanes and finally Helsinkis.

People started to peel off, and half a dozen of us were left, Martyn introduced me to a massive black lad called Tyrone. On the sofa's Martyn said "Get it out Tyrone or they won't believe the story", on the que he got out the biggest cock I have ever seen, it was easierly as long as my arm!

FUCKING HELL everyone exclaimed, Martyn then started telling stories of the people Tyrone had fucked. My mind was boggling and i was getting very turned on, I was tipsy but played up being drunker... I had a plan.

Come 3am it was just Martyn , Tyrone and I. We all shared a taxi ,Martyn was dropped off 1st, and I found out Tyrone lived in Belgrave not far from me. I got out at Tyrone's and stated i was gonna walk the rest of the way home, he invited me in for a drink and I stumbled into his.

I sat on the sofa and he walking into the kitchen, when he walked back out he was stark bollock naked, his massive black cock already semi hard, "We both know why you are here whiteboi, you lot always say your straight but are so wanton", hypnotized by his words and cock I had not noticed he was already level with my face...

"Suck it cunt" he said, i hesitated and he grabbed my head and forced his massive purple head past my lips, he started to fuck my face as i struggled.