when I smoke meth i think about getting high with my older sister and  explore taboo spun sex

When I was 11 i was always wantint and tryin to see the girls next door naked through thier bathroom window or bedroom window. One night I saw the bathroom light come on and snuck up next to the window to peek in. I saw the oldest sister that was 14 getting undressed and then a girl I know thats 13 came walking in and said something and reached out and felt the other girls naked tits then started getting naked too. I was hard as a brick seeing 2 naked girls muchless 2 naked girls feeling eachother up.
When they got done in the bath they walked out naked and went to her bedrom. I went to that window and was watching them. The girl that lived there left the room and the other girl laid down on the bed rubbing herself. I was really caught up watching her and all of a sudden someone grabbed me and threw me on the ground. it was the older girl and she was calling me a little pervert and telling me she was going to tell on me. I was so scared it didnt even occur to me that she couldnt tell because of what she was doing herself. She grabbed me by the arm yanked me into her house and into her room. The other girl was laughing saying so Mike is a window peeper. They sat on the bed and told me to get naked. I didnt want to be seen so I said no and they proceeded to grab me stripping me naked. They both looked at me all over and started feeling me up making comments about how much smaller mine was than her bf and that a hairless cock looked so much better. The 13 yr old said she had never seen a boy naked other than babies and she was checking it all out. I just laid there scared humiliated and embarassed. The older girl said they could do as they wanted to me and I was going to have to let them. She showed the younger girl about sucking me and then let her try it. Then I had to lick them. While I had seen naked girls even little ones I had never been naked in the same room with one. She told me to lick the 13 yr old and at the time I thought that just sounded gross. But when the older girl grabbed my cock and balls and was squeezing I quicly started lickin it and then she was telling me where to lick. I ended up licking both of them.
I did get to see them lick and kiss eachother too so it wasnt all bad.
She was catching me alone outside and would take me to the garage or someplace private and geting me naked and nessing around with me. One afternoon she took me into he garage got me naked then a boy her age I didnt know came out from behind some boxes and was naked too and I was introduced into sucking dicks and being fucked while she watched and laughed.

Help!

So I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant last night, everything went great until we got in the car.. As soon as I closed my door she said we need to talk. She starts yelling about how we need to try new things, and how she's getting "bored of eating the same shit and doing the same shit". She's usually really sweet and is always appreciative/polite but she looked me right in my eyes and told me it's like I'm not enough for her anymore. She kept saying how much she loves me but that she just needs something more. When I asked her what she wouldn't respond.

After a LONG ride to her apartment when I pulled up in her driveway before I could even open my cardoor to get out she grabbed my arm and told me to stop. She looked me in the eyes again and asked me If I loved her and of course I said yes. She then told me these exact fucking words: "From now on you're my slave. You'll never be enough for me. I'm going to fuck whoever I want from now on, and you're gonna do whatever I tell you to make me happy, understand??"

I couldn't even speak I mean what the actual fuck? I had no fucking clue this actually happened. She got out of my car smiling and said "you don't need to think about it, I just did that for you."

I just drove home in absolute silence.

When I got home, I checked my phone and she put on twitter. "Had a great talk with ___ tonight!, hope he understands =) (the gun emoji)"

I don't think she would actually shoot me If I leave her but honestly I'm scared as fuck. I'm hoping this is just a joke to freak me out or something but I've heard her use the word "cuckold" talking with her older sister before... I can't get anyone irl involved this is too embarrassing..my older brother is the only one i could tell and he would never let me hear the end of this..

So my sister came to visit recently and I must say she looked gorgeous tan tall perfect beach bod long dark wavy hair I admit Ive always had rather inappropriate feelings for my older sister but I never acted on them however seeing her as she was now California really did wonders for her and well i had thoughts dirty thoughts and I kept spying on my sister getting dressed showering making sure her douch boyfriend never saw me then he went out with a few friends he hasnt seen since he moved with my sister and i decided to press my luck and act flirty to my sister eventually she asked me why i was acting wierd and i tried to play it off like old times but it was just the two of us so i confessed my feelings all of them how long i had them and intimate perverse and got i admited to the spying on her it was awkward for awhile till i just decided to kiss her she grabbed me and gave me the whole taboo its wrong were blood related speel and what i did i got on top of her i wasnt not taking this chance im stronger than her too so it was easy she struggled at first till i  slipped my hand down her shorts playing with her pusssy i kissed her so she wouldnt make to much noise i swear    a few moments in and i felt her clench my fingers  as she orgasmed hard  this is were  it got fun  she agreed it was the best orgasm she ever had disregarding  right from wrong she agreed we could   do stuff as long as we kept it private and its been a week and she will be here for another month or so i confess shes better than most of my exes and I'm not ashamed to say i love fucking my sister especially since i can make her orgasm in way her boyfriend could only dream of who knows maybe  ill record  us having fun or even livestream it ive not decided yet maybe ill update this confession if something  interesting happens