Masturbating to my own bondage videos
Confession that I guess may not be all that odd, but still, I am making it.
It is an interesting thing that I have come to realize: I get off at a higher level by watching myself in the bondage/torture themed videos I am in. Watch them now more than others, and I focus on the scenes where my ass is getting fucked, or my penis and balls are getting tortured. I focus in on the audio of my groans, and cries, all while I am tightly stroking my penis. When my ass is exposed, I imagine fucking myself, violently thrusting my own penis into my ass hole.
If i could magically merge myself into one of those videos, and fuck and torture myself, I would do it. Not only that, I would do far more severe, painful, sick, and filthy things to myself than others would never do, or that I could never do to anyone else.
First, I considered this the manifestation of a self-hatred, but that is not true. I do not hate myself at all. There is something else here, something that comes from the thought that my sexual organs and being exploited for the enjoyment of others. Exploiting myself and enjoying it takes me to another level.
Has anyone else, or does anyone else do this? For me I have to be in bondage, being tortured/or used in the video. I have many others that I have never posted anyway, and those are the ones I watch the most because they are made to be far more extreme than what I feel comfortable showing.
But, if you watch videos of yourself dancing, masturbating, having sex, get fucked, in bondage, or just whatever, let me know. Or, am I just weird, and far more messed up than thought I ever was?
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